Click to open network menu
Join or Log In
Mobafire logo

Join the leading League of Legends community. Create and share Champion Guides and Builds.

Create an MFN Account






Or

MOBAFire's first Mini Guide Contest of Season 14 is here! Create or update guides for the 30 featured champions and compete for up to $200 in prizes! 🏆
's Forum Avatar

Gangster Twitch's Totally Legitimate Sale

Creator: IceCreamy July 31, 2012 4:03am
IceCreamy
<Veteran>
IceCreamy's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
5981
Joined:
Aug 14th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 31, 2012 4:03am | Report

Gangster Twitch's Totally Legitimate Sale

Posted by Twitch on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 22:25

Yeah, see, Gangster Twitch here.

You know why dey call me the Plague Rat? It’s cause I poison rats. You ain’t squealin’, are ya? I jump outta the shadows and you’ll never know what hit ya. I put the "rat" in "rata-tat-tat," give them squealin’ squishies some of the ol’ one-two venom lead injection, heeheehuuhaahaa… But I digress.

I’m off to visit some “clients” of mine to “extort money” from them and “end their lives.” It’s just business, folks. Wanna come with? If they won’t pay up, maybe you will. I’ll even give you the family discount. Who’s up foist?

  • This sad sack Amumu here, he cried to the coppers about the location of a certain valuable, illegal package meant for the illegal possession of yours truly. Did I say illegal? I meant "totally legit." You wrap up this mummy for me for 292 RP.
  • Irelia, Willada Blades. Thinks she can triple-cross the boss with those steak knives of hers? No dice, Ionian. How about you dull up them blades for ol’ Twitch for 487 RP?
  • Look at this bazoon, Varus, plinking those arrows into ‘tree of my best guys. I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse – pay up or get a mouthful of poison. Wisely, he paid up, so he’s only 487 RP. I’m watching you, pal.




  • Galactic Nasus thinks I won’t follow that fangouli into space to collect what he owes me? I’ll be doin’ some anthropomancy of my own: divination with his entrails! Grab this double-dealing dog for 260 RP.
  • Scarlet Hammer Poppy’s tab is way in the red. Gambling debts, mostly. She ain’t the Iron Ambassador of the poker table, that’s for sure. Either I put her three feet under or you pay off that debt for 487 RP, capiche?
  • This joker Coral Reef Malphite skipped town after stiffing ol’ Twitch on his share of the take. Hope he likes sleeping with the fishes down at dat reef of his. How about you save me a trip to the beach and take care of this? I gotta stir this poison all day. Family discount, 487 RP.





Well, that’s that. Business is business, see? These prices are only good from July 31 through August 3, so get on that, would ya? And if anyone messes with you, summoner, you let them know you’re working for the Twitch family now. Just remind ‘em what happens to big mouths when they least expect it - Plague Rata-tat-tat…

DuffTime wrote:
ok ok plz carry me omg
i was only waiting for you to ask

Temzilla wrote:
Too hot to be icecream.

Luther3000 wrote:
He looks like a hair gel advert on legs

Toshabi wrote:
Icecreamy, with hair as slick and smooth as the ocean waves of Cocobana
The_Nameless_Bard
<Ancient Member>
The_Nameless_Bard's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
12983
Joined:
Jan 17th, 2011
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep July 31, 2012 9:39am | Report
WHY ARE THE 260 SKINS ALWAYS ONES I ALREADY OWN?! (I have ~460 RP that's been sitting in my account since I bought Gatekeeper Galio and Battleborn Kayle)
A Chubby Baby
<Veteran>
A Chubby Baby's Forum Avatar
Show more awards
Posts:
3936
Joined:
Feb 14th, 2012
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep August 1, 2012 11:54am | Report

WHY ARE THE 260 SKINS ALWAYS ONES I ALREADY OWN?! (I have ~460 RP that's been sitting in my account since I bought Gatekeeper Galio and Battleborn Kayle)

agreed.

You need to log in before commenting.

League of Legends Champions:

Teamfight Tactics Guide