Soraka Build Guide by pizzapants
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The Anal Bruiser
Not Updated For Current Season
The masteries shown here are not yet updated for the current season, the guide author needs to set up the new masteries. As such, they will be different than the masteries you see in-game.
For those of you who are the "Serious" League of Legends players, I have to say this:
All that this guide really contains is anus anus, butt butt, anus butt, traditional Bruiser build, anus butt butt.
But, for those of you with actual humor!!! Continue on, for the trip of a life time.
AD Soraka... Are you smokin' too much ganja, mate?
Hello there my good friends, and welcome to the 'AD Soraka, the Butt Devastator' guide. For those that say AD Soraka is an idea spawned by the incarnate of idiocy itself, you are probably right. But who gives a rat's a$$ about that? AD Soraka is the tits. With her bananas that travel at the speed of stupid, you can easily destroy those pathetic top laners at their own turrets, without giving a single f*ck. She’s got uber sustain, and she can poke, for free, every ten second. You mad AD Casters? So, without further ado, I give you AD Soraka.
With AD Soraka, you need to focus more on attack in your mastery page, then defence. I best offence is a good defence. NO EXEPTIONS.
Her bananas are the power house of this build, so we want to have all zeh damage early game.
Levels of Butt Hurt.
After playing AD Soraka for a while, you will start to notice a certain "butt hurt-ness" that irradiates from your enemies. Do not be alarmed, this is completely natural and you should be proud of it! But, for those of you that still remain confused, this is a decent guide on to what levels you might see.
Booty Bothered: The process of getting your jimmies rustled; when the initial butt hurt-ness sets in.
Butt Hurt: The process of blaming everything, for your problems: lag, noobs, hackz, etc.
Butt Frustration: You are now cursing. Every syllable you utter, is a carefully placed ensemble of profanity. Leave. Now.
Butt Devastated: You now have bloody poo’ steam coming from your anus. Just give it up bro.
Anal Crusaded: The Butt Rangers have started an all out assault on your anus. Tread with caution; “I did your mom” jokes are soon to come.
Anally Annihilated: It’s GG. The amount of pain coming from your anus is unbearable. Run before you dig yourself too deep. “Say it to my face” comments will soon follow.
Anal Consumption: Your cholesterol is through the roof, you literally bleed bacon grease. The amount of pent up angst coming off of you is just inconceivable. Your anus feels like it is giving birth to the Star Ship: Enterprise. FLEE MORTAL. THE ANAL GODS ARE COMING.
And if you manage to surpass all of the previous states, you have successfully entered the stages of…
WHITE HOT ANAL APOCOLYPSE!!! : You have no *ss. It was lost, eons ago. You found the point of no return, crossed it, mugged its family, raped its daughter, and then insulted its eating problems. Every other word that comes out of your mouth is either “F*ggot” or “your mom goes to 'insert place'”. /b/ despises you. You killed the most interesting man in the world.
Pros / Cons
Cons? What are those! AD Soraka laughs at words such as that. She has a built in silence, heal, and spam-able q, what more could you want? AD Soraka is a bonified bad *ss. She will never, EVER, let you down.
Time to get serious.
---> Astral Blessing
+Free poke every 10 seconds.
+Come on, you're AD Soraka.
-If your silence is down, then you are susceptible to being cc'd.
-Like LeBlanc, you need feed. End of story.
-If you give a Soraka top lane, an AP Varus will go mid.
-There's always going to be someone going "Dude. Really?"
-Any other standard downsides to a ranged top lane.
A legend is born...
Come hither my pupil, and I will tell you a story.
Pizzapants, tell me the ways of this... AD Soraka.
The reason AD Soraka works so well is due to the fact that her bananas travel at the speed of stupid. Seriously, you can run to base, wait for about 10 seconds, and then they will hit you. We utilize this. With this long a$$ animation time, we can throw at least two bananas while our opponent is at tower. You mad melee top laners? Next, we have a free poke. It's like Pantheons spears, but free! Who wouldn't want that? You are a ranged Ezreal- oh wait.
'Butt' Pizzapants! Soraka is sooooooo squishy, and whats the point of having a support go top!?!
"You my friend, are the definition of the word tosser!" ~ Mantheon Guide. Say your bot lane is in a pickle, and the support is all out of mana. Oh look! GLOBAL HEAL! It's like Shen's ult, only more douche bagier. And plus, if you're getting your *ss kicked, you can always switch to support Soraka late game.
Now, your job as AD Soraka is to kill the Carries. You can usually kill two by the time you are dead, or the team fight is over. And when you die, wait for those bananas to hit and BOOM! HEAD SHOT!
The Laning Phase.
It is very simple. All you need to do is... WALK THE DINOSAUR!
Now, this song should be stuck in your head. Good. You will need it.
Use your "Long Sword" to buy yourself a Long Sword. Not many people know this, but the vendor is a flaming homosexual.
When you are not farming minions, KILL THAT ENEMY MOFO!
Darius? HA! Garen? Psht. Easy. Just Silence, then BANANA!
It's really straight forward. When the enemy jungler comes to gank, just silence him. His CC scary.
Make sure you farm, farm, farm. The faster you get your items, the faster the butt rage comes.
Walk the dinosaur.
The dreaded thing... Team Fights...
What is this? WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE ALMIGHTY GLUTEUS IS THIS!?!
Oh wait... this is half of the game...
If your team needs a tank, I recomend taking Sunfire Cape instead of Runann's Hurricane. Just walk into the enemy, and star call.
For any of you brave enough to try this in rank... I DEEM YOU ANAL CRUSADER! You sir/mam, are a god amongst non-anal believers. Go forth and spread your amazingly stupid build.
Make sure to comment with suggestions. I'm always open to criticism that will actually make this build viable.
And never forget: TONIGHT, WE DINE ON ANUS!
*Updated the guide to accumlate the suggestions left in the comments. Keep on makin' them guys! I enjoy your input.