What's the jive boss man? Islamabad got you down? Shudy got your booty? Your Malaysian Puppet Theater not as influential with the urban youth as you hoped? Do not worry my lily-white friend, I am here to make all of your dreams come true, but only if they are in regards to winning a game as Lucian Jungle or Support Darius

I am The Handsome Max. I am currently in Gold 1, but don't worry, Angela Merkel can only hold back my power for so long. My favorite champion is Don Quixote. Now I realize that you're getting upset because he's "technically" a supporter of the Islamic State, but instead of thinking about that, think about how beautiful your smile is :)

When I am not playing League of Legends, I cry alone in my room. I find that this sort of reflection is helpful in realizing how much of a bad person I am. When I run out of tears, I immediately start sprinting up a hill. This helps me stay in shape, and has helped me lose 80 pounds. If you have any other questions about my personal life, please purchase my audio-book: "The Strength of Desire: A Memior?"

Before I talk about how much of a character of League of Legends he is,we have to talk about what roles he plays in the game.

Professionals Went to the Ogre Battle Fight Is Pitbull's personal barber Came to my 12th birthday party Gives orphan immigrants fully loaded guns Enjoys Flocabulary He isn't that big of a drug addict Carries the burden of your sins

Confessionals None Killed a man Brushes his hair the wrong way Eats bread Isn't a fan of Seinfeld Refuses the nickname "Stonedog" Accidentally crucified my dad

Now if Lucian isn't your type of character, just click this Reddit Hype Video about a team of Lucians absolutely gooning around town. I beliebe you will change your minde

"It will be my sincere and constant desire to observe toward the Shadow Islanders within our limits a just and liberal policy, and to give that humane and considerate attention to their rights and their wants which is consistent with the habits of our Government and the feelings of our people." -- Lucian

Many people don't know this, but Lucian didn't start off as a genocidal maniac. In fact, he was a lovely family man who cared deeply about anyone he ever met. Three days after Lucian was born, his family abandoned him to join the circus. Lucian had nothing to his name except three slaves and a lifetime supply of bread. This was very difficult for Lucian because his gluten-free diet made it impossible for him to eat bread. Instead, he would go into the woods every night and kill a hostage every hour until the police gave him a gallon of tree sap.

By the time he was 24 days old, he owned 1864 slaves, each with their own screenplay. Due to the fact he was still an infant, his slaves were given a very high autonomy. This was dangerous for the citizens of the Shadow Isles because once an Islander hears a bad screenplay, they rapidly age until there is nothing left but a skeleton and a copy of My Name is Earl season 2.

By the time Lucian was 17 years old, his slaves killed about 80% of the Islander population in the area. Lucian saw the impending death of the Shadow Isles, so Lucian came up with a plan. If the Islanders moved from the area, their extinction would stop. All the townspeople loved the idea, especially his boyfriend, Senna.

There was one problem. Thresh, a transfer student from the rich side of town, didn't want to leave. You see, for every My Name is Earl disc he receives, he gains a stack of armor and ability power. This immense power allows him to not cry why his mom fights with his stepdad, David.

Thresh challenged Lucian to a hook competition. Each would would have to choose a person to grab and pull them towards them. The person who pulled the target closest wins. Thresh picked Nathan Lane and Lucian picked Senna. Each were placed 10ft away from themselves. Thresh uses his trusty hook and pulled Nathan Lane 3 feet. Lucian, only knowing how to use a gun, shoots Senna, instantly killing her.

Heartbroken and distraught,Lucian immediately blames Thresh for tricking him. Knowing that Thresh is from the Shadow Isles, Lucian immediately began shouting his screenplay: "A View to Love: The Forgotten Retelling." Unfortunately, his screenplay, filled with nuance, likable characters, and an in depth view on life in communist Ethiopia, was hailed as the best play of the century and made Lucian very wealthy.

Unfortunate for Lucian, the success blinded him. He no longer remembered what Thresh looked like. Despite this, he still wants to kill Thresh for what he did. Despite the initial drop in popularity Lucian got for committing widespread genocide, He went on Ellen and described how he felt about the Shadow Isles.

"The Shadow Isles can not exist surrounded by our settlements and in continual contact with our citizens is certain. They have neither the intelligence, the industry, the moral habits, nor the desire of improvement which are essential to any favorable change in their condition."

After that speech, the entire bus stood up and started clapping. Now that he has the people on his side, he could do whatever he wanted. Lucian began his quest, and won't stop until Thresh is deadzo.


"Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife and there."

http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/mastery-tree-planner#&tree1=5-2-1-0-5-1-1-0-5-0-0-1-0&tree2=0-5-1-1-1-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0&tree3=0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0&v=2

First Purchase is the Hunter's Machete. It's necessary, let me tell you. What kind of person wants to hunt down every single member of a race without calling himself a hunter? It's ridiculous. You would be best off starting at the golems. Not only are they rock hard, but they also make your guns stunning. No creature will ever want to fight you because they're dead.

You're gonna want to rush the stalkers blade because while being a hunter is nice, Stalker is Lucian's favorite video game series. You get loads of experience that will help you out later in life, similar to studying abroad in Tehran. The smite you want is the Chilling smite. This allows you to be scary as heck as well as keeps his drinks cool on a summer afternoon.

The next purchase is the Black Cleaver. If I were some sort of pathetic individual, I would say it's required because he's black. It's 2016 people, that brand of unnecessary racism is a thing of the past, just like the Country of Tibet. You're gonna want to buy the Cleaver because it's got everything lucian wants: Penetration, Cooldown Reduction, and attack damage. It also looks really badass when you break their shield using your ult.

You'll also want to pick up some boots. Now, we want to make Lucian sound as intimidating as possible, so get him the Bezerker's greaves. This shows the world that you mean business and have a great fashion sense8.

The next item is Yomuu's Ghost Blade. It's named after Yomuu, but you can just pretend that it's Senna. If he tries to stop you, just say he was from the Shadow Isles and kill him. Who is gonna stop you? The police? You are the police.

Next, you want Lord Dominic's Regards. Why you ask? Well, when you apply for a job, you'll need at least one letter of recommendation. Commuting genocide is a pretty big responsibility, and they don't just want anyone to go out there, no matter how many cows you can milk in an hour. Lord Dominic would probably love to help you out with a letter of rec, think about all those nights you spent in his garage. He appreciated your work and would love to help out.

Now that you have a letter of recommendation, you need a new weapon to cement the fact you're committing genocide. The weapon of choice for this is the Bloodthirster's. This is because you thirst for the blood of your enemies, and because it's nice to have sustain in teamfights.

This is all you need to know about farming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzRiQau2u7s

No good Jungler is complete without a hit playlist:

My mixtape: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N9eElDxPa0

When you're feeling original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04XbRlfwzxA&list=PL74C0860C9B68CCF1&index=3

When you feel like remixin the hits: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ea8CQUmaAQ&list=PL7D474167C2B4070D&index=4

When you want a Rock Opera in Korean: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAgXmy-A2Wo

When you want a Rock Opera in Turkish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQFvJk8XGJY

When you want a Rock Opera in Armenian: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX8EAxnRzjY

When you want a Rock Opera in Hungarian: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GDD9CdyYjg

When you want another Rock Opera in Hungarian but based on Stephen King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OOubj4UAX4

When you get addicted to Hungarian Rock Operas and are desperately looking for a fix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86GKrLSP5bI

When you want a Rock Opera in Spanish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxYJjHxHNJw&index=1

I actually can play as him and well, look. It's actually viable.

http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/1676486328/201473946?tab=builds

http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/2052035644/201473946?tab=overview

http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/1680493954/201473946?tab=overview

http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/1671430077/201473946?tab=overview

http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/1485249071/201473946?tab=overview

Thanks for reading, and if you have any recommendations for guides you want me to put out, feel free to leave them in the comments.