Teemo Humor Guide by superapathy
Not Updated For Current Season
This guide has not yet been updated for the current season. Please keep this in mind while reading. You can see the most recently updated guides on the browse guides page.
Not Updated For Current Season
The masteries shown here are not yet updated for the current season, the guide author needs to set up the new masteries. As such, they will be different than the masteries you see in-game.
helo every1 on mobfire ia m soopforapthy! this is my firs guede so plz upvote for my hard effod becuz i had 2 lrn how 2 do te 1337 coding too make ths (but its k because i am 2 pro)!!! shoo salsmen temooo is thr new meta tht all the pr0s paly. he's soopee dopper strong and the stongest charter in the game.
anywas this guiede coverd almst everything aboat how 2 ply shoo salsmen temooo who is rlly strng and prtty much cnt be btn by anybdy and if u ever lose as shoo salsmen temooo then u r a nub nd u should die. anyway now i get on with th guied so plz red and den pwn nubs lol
pros / cons
temoo has mosly only pros because he is 2 pr0 an is dis section we r going too tak abut his pro and cond and how 2 use dem to sell da most shoe sals and gt 1337 klls. don't bielbeve me?, just check my elo on my PRO-file. anywy i hav no cns colum bcuz temooo is th mist op champo anywys and if u don't wn plz unistll the gme
runs r prety usless but sstill good to hve if u wnt to sell the most shoos to the jngle cusntmoers (n jungle cusmoters are 3rd wrols so don't know prics lol, nubs) so i get some awesom runes tht rlly help ppl
Greater Mark of Cooldown Reduction
Greater Seal of Cooldown Reduction
Greater Glyph of Scaling Energy
Greater Quintessence of Movement Speed
anyways i will now go ovr the runse
Mark of Focus
i get these ruens 4 rrhe coldon redcutin so i cn do th move fast move faster for mre sales
Seal of Focus
same as aboev
Glypf of Sapience
i get these runs becuz temoo is a hmaster and he neds to be*** sapient (lick that rmidilo guy) 2 sell shoos
Quint of Swiftness
i get thse becuz of the synrerenrgy with hs move fast move
so leik rens msateriesys afre prtty uselass but they cna be used to hlp u get some better as selling shoos lik e a truw temoo pro shoo salsmen. msot ppl biuld hurtng mastries but thy are fcking (im srry for swwring i knoow jesus is wathcing) stipd.
anywys i build my runes 4 bing the best shoo salesmne on the lot (alsu nkown as feild of jsuticce). so firt i blid some of the ultiy srunes for the flownggg purporposes
so first i bulid good hnds and miproved recell so i cn get aleve fster and slos go bck to stocck shoos more fasterly
after that i get the mve fayst masteriy bcuse u gotta gon fasat to sell shoos n scut so u cn see when there is knw cusntmoster in eth jngle n lne if there is enmy salsmen wwho u can convin the be traitor n buy ur shoo
thn i fet the othr ones with the monei migae becuase i dun rember their name but thy have monie thngs and u geet that by sell shoos hre i can put they're imgges here so u see tem 2
then i get some awremness rnesn so u ra e morre awre of cunstmers and inteligenct and LASTELY I GET
dis is the imtlnate masteriy for temooo as it makes him able to spm his moves wy fster
then i s get sme other **** n stuf that hlps u k and thets all for mastereyes
this sextion si all boat shoos and witch ones 2 stock sho u can mke the mst shoo sals thn evrybdy else, thre are a few wys to do ths and it depnds on a lot of thngs like ur enmy compositin, bt th one listd below if u dont' wnt to bther is teh est othswrise.
Boots of Mobility
Boots of Swiftness
so 2 s tart out u wlys ned too get clthing at the edn becucause being naked isnt god fur sales. if ud nt do this i will ban u becuz my mom is tribunal.
so frstin the egenraly not spefci pick i alwahs get ionian (pronounced ion (lik atom) ian (lek name)) boots of lucyidiky 4 the kool-down reductin so i can use my mfve fast mve to sell the shoos fsters. after that i get the mov rlly fst boots so i cn go EVEN FATSIR!
thn i get th mvve fst 2 bots so i cn mve fatsir doubley, thn i get the attak fats bots then the ninja boats bcuz the kids lov those n thy sell quack.
howevr theres it a btter way to bld ur 5 shoos tht ss sititational whitch depends on ur enmy team. what u do is stck te shoos that the anemone would gt anyways so u can sell them th shos for a profit ;3
so if ur enemy teamo looks like tshi:
then u get thsi:
Boots of Mobility
now unlkei reuns and mastreyes sumonner spells are prbably the most usfeul thing in the gema bseside temooo and is shoos
the ions ovoe are the to sumonner spels that any one who is ayn god will tke i wil go over thm and also tlk abut some spels that u NVRER want 2 take tht relly ascuk.
now beloaw this u will esee smit in acitn kiling the bigsest monster in gam AND stealling enmy shoo sale to him
"This is some MLG **** yO! You should start a pro team init!!!"
this showos that evn if u r playing a ***** chareter lke my litle hecarimjob smti cn mke u sell shoos (evn thuog dis ****n nub only had 1 shoo, rolfcopters)
so i was lokig for vidos that show hue kool srvive is ad i fund this thing tht had other ppl taklking in sme lanugage (i think spanish) bbut aprlynty is has somthing to do with reviev so plz wtch n tll me bcuase i only wtched to 0:23
reviev meixcoaniean video
SPELLS THAT RLLY SUCKS
anywyas now too talk abut the summonner spels that rlly rlly rlly sucks and u shuold never EVER take them lol, so i am gongng to list thm alg with there icon so u nkow 2 avoi them.
her is a lisp of raisons why these sumonner psells sucks
- onyl gay ppl use thse splls
- ppl have the gyest reasons four using tehm
- if u usethem i will ban u ecuz my dad is riot gaymes
- flsh only movs u a bit fcken nubs
- ghst if just lkei ur w mve
- ignt dosnt evn do tht much
evrytheeng else socks 2 but i am too lzy to right abuat thm
skillz and when 2 pick thm
probs the only probslem with temooo is that he hs two sklls that are TOTALLY USLESS (lulcopterts) hs only god mves are his ult noxusious trap (whre he gts nubs high on shrms lol) and his mve quck move
so now i will tel u how to use hid skills and hofw the awtrk and hoe to use then to sell th most shoos
firfth of aal thses are comlety uselss never evr pt ponts into thse nub mvs and nvr waste ur mana on them. srsly thees abilities are rlly dumb evne i dont know wyh they mad thm and my dad is riot gamse.
move quakc is one of teh best abiltities nitneh game because it lts ju mve suoer fast so u g ad cn sell jsoos to mre plpl more quckly, so for the first 14 tmes u lvl ths up and u just spm i sas mch as u can so u can alwys sellnsshoos to hte most ppl there are, and it srynergieyes well with rvive summonner spell too
thise is temooos ultitmate and is vry pwlerful bt u only ned it to lat gam so u get it last becuz urb buidl is so pr0 that u dnt ned the extra powr na du just ned to go faster 2 win usualy unnles ur enemy has a shoo temooo in whch case it is a mster of who is mre pro.
sellin shoes in da jungle oar lane
so in her i awil tel au my temoo game plna and how u fit th scary ccsutmers 2 sll thm shoos. in teha simage below u wil theteh stonr grouat that u wil take 2 win in sooper quck time. than i will expltrain it 2 u.
so if u lock aabove u will se ur aroute to win teah game as shoo salsmen temooo.
so teh firsft thing u shoudl loka t is the ross and chec marks thosu show what lnges are kay to gangk if ur tameates are hving truble because the enmy team has a shoo saller. u cna gank mid and top bcuz thy only hav 1 ppl but never bot becuz theey have too ppl and dont ned any help and if thy complain abut no agnk report 4 benig noobs and flame tem in all chat.
whn te game strts u have to first go to fat glems who give u rlly cool floting rocks that mke u sllk bsdass and giv u mve past ponits (mana) so u can spm mov fast thng all teh tme.
thn u go 2 the red lizrd who is 3rd wrld n dsnt know how 2 do the sstff n doesnt know prices so u cn kill him quck, he gves u the badssas red floating rocks
then u go wt 4 dragn 2 spwn n u kll him 4 gold and so it say u slay dragn because that's fkucen kool
aftr th u wat for big worm puple thing (he's purple 4 gya pride day) n fter u kill him u go back 2 ur base and hl n buy shoos (u cn go bck while wating for drgn or pupl eworm 2)
fter u hel u cn now bckdoor they're nexus so u do tht n win!!!11
alos when u r jngin an sellnig ru shoos to the mnster custnmoers rember that leashes r 4 nobs n u dnt need 2 distraasct ur temomates
plying like a treu temoomemeebr is ipotny but temooo dosnt ply like othrs bcuase he is op n pro n snce my mom is tribunal and dad roit games u nver get bned even if nubs gt mad lol. sk if this seciotna i wialf show yu how 2 copertatate awith teamo memberad
so firft off u ned 2 comnuicate in que by caling ur roles like in the imge belw
is the aboev pictuer u clearl communicat ur rol and lso show theat u r a strong independent pro whe don't ned no nub teamo so u can pwn all teh tima and dis is teh firsf step.
someetimes ppl will eract in noobs way 2 ths and u jst hve 2 del with it
peple reacting like nobs
if nobdy dodgs u can also fuhuerer aassert ur domnicnace by callinng they're lanes
some tims in qhuehue disasster can also stucks if enmy taks temooo unfortnatly lke in the mgages below evn if ur taem is kool.
my teamo wkging toghter
the teamo is bing kool aboat shoos
the enmy takes temooo and evry1 fraks aut
also her is a buletted list of thngs 2 say too nub teamo maets hat rlly suc 2 shoe them tht u r bttr thn thm
- "ym dad is riot games he cn ban u nub"
- "my mom is eth tribunal n she wil stl ur ip"
- "i sll shoo and shoo accessories"
- "fck u nub lrn2p iam mlg pr0"
- "repot <player> for unsklled"
- "lol my bck hursts from all this crrying"
n her is th resalt of a gud gme as temooo:
"EFFF U SHOO SALSMEN TEMOOO" ~ butthut nubs
wel know we r done with thsi temooo guide so if u cnt pwn nubs now u are probablly a rterd or too bszy hitinng on th boys in hte gay cbar to lsitn, so if u r rlly sutid here is bultetd list of wht we lrned in this pr0 temooo shoo salsmen guide
LIST OF WHAT U LRNS
- temooo is the most op
- reviev and smiet are the stronguest sumner sklls
- how 2 wrk as team with ppl
- hw to buld ur shoos and be op
- whch mnsters 2 sell shoos 2 fist
- prawns anc cons
- how to use mastrieseyes
- hw 2 be aeeswesome
- that temooo is super awesoem
- wht runes a temooo needs too use
sum fantart that i mde n stuff and den lter is other ppl who are hppy becuz i made dem pr0 wnt to make some gud fntart.
temooo sells shoos comic
by apahtytoeme (me!!!)
in dis hilarius comic th shoo buyer has a walet so temooo sells to him by knocking him oot becuz he wantd it nayways
temooo anime girl rt'
also my me soupforaptytme
dis is temoo beeing khawaii anim giral
resulats of dis guide
her is tge rsulats that u get when u use cis guide and amake shoo salsmen temooo op bild this section is 2 proof that shoo temooo is eth best
and herg is what u gt when u use nb bluods that othr ppl say u shud use (lul nubs)
als ignre te rsults 2 the sidr becuz i got a bit lzy when i was
editing correctin the brken rsults frm league cltinet.