I: Introduction

Words can not express how much fun it is to scream and whoop like a 1930s stron-man when playing Singed, if you're doing it right. You are like Trogdor, you poisonate the countryside, and suplex all the peasants. People will hear that whistling doom approaching and leave a yellow trail even as you lay down a (significantly more lethal) purple one.

The name of the game with the UGR Singed, is balance. Get whatever you think you're lacking most between mana regen, AP, health, defensive, and pretty much anything but physical attack and crit. You don't make friends with salad, and you don't kill *****es with auto attacks.

Generally speaking, you can be considered a tanky character, but you'd probably like to avoid acting like one as much as possible, so it's nice to have another fat kid kicking around. If you're well coordinated with a good MFing Cho'Gath you can toss/spike people and cackle madly as they break their keyboard over their knee in rage. Delicious, sweet, tangy rage. You will probably end up sneaking a lot of kills with this build, so if you're trying to feed a carry make sure they know what they're doing.

Summoner spells to love:
Teleport: Never wrong.
Ghost: Love it. You should be pretty quick anyway, but streaking out ahead of a fleeing group, poisoning them all, and tossing one of the weak ones back to the wolves is just too good to pass up.
Flash: Works as well, but you don't get the duration, or the full poison trail. The non-collision effect is quite nice for charging through towers, as well.
Heal: You will usually be operating at low health, both because you will be playing super aggressive, and because you want the enemy to do the same.
Clarity: Alright for early game ganking, but you wont use it later on.
Cleanse: Keke. Can't stop the beat.

Summoner spells to avoid:
Rally: You won't be standing still that long.
Ignite: ****ty dot, compared to your poison. Overall pointless.
Fortify: You don't want to scare them away from the towers, you want them to be dumb enough to dive in, and you actually benefit from biiig long lanes full of creep to farm. More on that later.

Sheen, triforce, Lichbane. If you take any of these items, you're out of the family.

"But Condon! Fat damage boost! I hit like a truck with my ult on!" Eat a bag of ****s. Auto attacking with the UGR is like foreplay with a hooker. Could be fun but usually you can avoid it.

You come equiped with a bottle and a shield. Take the hint.

First item: Regrowth pendant. Early game regen is never a bad choice, and you build from it later on.

First trip back: Boots of speed, a philosophers stone, and as much of a rod of ages as you can score, getting the AP boost after the health/mana.

Second trip: Finish the rod, and get your boots of swiftness. If you are having a monty haul game, go for a second rod of ages, but not if its past 25 minutes. More likely you'll want to get an archangels staff. Remeber: More mana, is more fat. After you get this, feel free to toss out goo and toss on creep while moving through lanes, as you should have enough mana regen to keep ganks rolling while you're a little low.

Late game: This splits two ways. If they are scattering in fear when you show up *as they should* get an void staff and then the ring. Most of the time they will still TRY to kill you, however, so you'll normally go for a BV and then the angel or a FoN. After that, get whatever you're missing from the above, focusing on survivability or AP as you need it.

"But Condon! What about my super sweet ult that increases attack damage! I'm not getting the most of that!" You're doing it wrong. Your ult is for regen, and to scare people off. That's all. Pop it whenever you're low, which will probably be often. You don't need to care about the attack damage portion at all, its just a nice bonus.

"But Condon! What about Lich bane or Sheen!" You're out of the family. You've been warned. Stop reading and go **** up another character, because I wont have you tainting Singed.

This is not the power rangers, you are not Ivan Ooze.

Toss (Level 1 poison is a mana sink, and you can pull off a FB with toss, depending on your lane mate)
Poison
Poison (now you can run around dropping death at will, just keep enough mana on you for a toss)
Toss
Myyyy GOOOOOOOO
Regen (Yes it is for regen, and thats how you will treat it.)
Poison
Poison
Toss
Poison
Regen
Toss
Toss
Goo
Goo
Regen
Goo
Goo

This build lets you harass like a mother****er until 7, when you go for a gank (no one ever suspects the Goo.) After that, your lane mate is free to roam, or you can depending on the team makeup, as you should have enough AP to get minions down with one pass of your poison.

It should go without saying, but if you don't have poison on before you toss someone, you're bad and you should feel bad.

Establish early on, that the lane is your house, and you will do what you want. Poison trails and the threat of the toss (you wont have enough mana to spam it, so dont) will be enough to scare most players off, not to mention whatever your ally is backing.

When you get goo, go for a kill, then one of you can **** off, if its him, he ganks while you get big and juicy, if it's you, you wont be quite immortal yet, so you'll want to settle for lane control and farming up mad duckets. About the time your tower goes down you should join in on the gank fest, because no one escapes the UGR.

You will run screaming into lanes, trailing poison and win, and toss people. You should be doing significant damage with your poison now, and if you're in a premade your allies can have a stun ready for after the toss. At this point, people will be all "Oh man, it's just singed, he throws people and chases you into towers to die. What a comical character." You have to teach them. Think like the weapon you are. Don't tower dive, dont hide out in the bushes. Just run up and down the field eating creep with your poison, and if you get the chance, toss a player. This phase is all about farming. You can run into a creepwave and kill everything ever.

"But Condon, I'm supposed to be a urine guided rokkit! Wheres the fear and the murder!?!?!" Patience young one. First you clear the lanes, then you get the pressure on their whole team, then you get the items, and THEN you skull**** the enemy team behing their own lines and run screaming into the night where they can't follow on pain of death.

"Wait, what? Why can't they follow me?" Are you ******ed? Are you some kind of simple? You're the god ****ed Singed. You eat creep and **** fear. Between goo, ******ed strong poison, your silly speed, and the threat of oncoming traffic to get tossed into, no one with cahones smaller than the MFing Cho'Gath will be chasing you.

The key here is to play low key until you get farmed to ****, and then come screaming into the fight with a green bar full of black lines, a purple trail of death, and a keening whistle that will haunt the nightmares of the enemy team.

Between toss and poison alone, you should be pumping out a wicked amount of damage, considering you should have gear ages ahead of the enemy team.

Now the real benefit of the UGR Singed comes to light: You can clear entire lanes before your ghost is up. You can start at base, turn on poison, and auto run right to their base tower and kill everything in between without breaking pace. No other hero can push a lane so hard, so fast. Doesn't matter if you attack the tower yourself or not, it's going down. There's no way they can keep up with all that, and keep control of your teams roaming ganks, especially when you run in and pick off their weakest link every time regen is up.

Your only job in a team fight is to run in, go straight for their biggest damage dealer, and toss him. Doesn't matter if you get the kill, or even if he sticks around. He either A)Gets tossed, poisoned, and most likely killed before he can scream, or B)Turns and burns, leaving his four allies without a carry/stun/whatever his major threat is.

If you guys havn't won before they outpace your poison damage in sheer fatitude, then your team is either full of late game win, and you should be able to coast, or they have all failed miserably, given that thanks to you your team has owned all three lanes up to inner towers since 20 minutes in.

VII: General gameplay tips

-You'll be moving a lot, but don't be tempted to buy mobility boots. You need the speed for escape more than changing lanes.
-Be wary of roaming enemy squads, they wont be afraid to chase you if they have numbers, and you will be in the treeline quite a lot.
-Communicate with your team: If they know you're coming, they can prepare to pick up the toss while you run to the next lane. You don't need to stick around for the kill, just toss, apply poison, and move on. If your allies can't pick it up after that, you need a new team.
-Pick on the little guy. This goes without saying most of the time, but you are superbly equiped to take down soft targets. Toss and poison are a huuuuuge damage dealer mid game, and you can take down most bad casters in under ten seconds.
-Know when you've got them. Poison will take out fleeing targets just as well as ones that are chasing. Even then, you dont always need to get the kill, if people are running back you can push the lane and get yourself even more runway for poison trail cleanup.
-Control your poison output: Put just enough to hit all the creep, don't waste mana. When a wave is running at you and you're trailing poison in front of them, turn it off before you pass the actual battle line. Its mostly a learning curve sort of thing, but the mana you waste with even one or two extra seconds on each run is staggering in the long run.

So you suck at the UGR. Lets find out why you're so bad at life.

Did you farm mad duckets like Gankplank on cocaine?

A: Of course! My poison drops minions like acid at woodstock. I was running lanes all game and didn't stop to stand around in a bush to get a ****py gank before I was OP as all sin.

Did you get a sheen, lich bane, or anything with attack damage/attack speed on it?

A: Dag no! I've still got full function of my brain and havn't been huffing paint recently.

Did you feed your carry toss kills so that they are a fangy-blady-whirlwind of doom?

A: Yes, of course, whether or not they are bad is still up for debate, but I tossed/poisoned targets near them and ran off cackling madly every chance I got!

Did you believe in the heart of the cards?

A: *****es be all up on my trap card. AKA surprise toss and rune steal.

Congrats, you now have the basics of a proper Singed. This assumes of course, that you have a basic understanding of the game in general, and aren't playing on a 486. Go forth and lay some Trogdor flavored pain.

Updated for patches.