AVAST ME HEARTIES!

Today I be bringing thee NOT-SO-CRITPLANK

ARRRRR YOU READY KIDS?!!!!

Aye aye captain! :D

I CAN'T HEAAAAAR YOU!

AYE AYE CAPTAIN!!!

OHHHHHHHHH

So why is thee Not-so-Critplank so incredibly arrrresome?

Yarrr!
* HES A PIRATE
* He be tanking like a boss
* He still deals nice damage
* Global farming ultimate!
* YOU CAN PLUNDER WITH YOUR Parrrley
* YARRRRR!!!

Narrr!
* You won't be critting with this build
* You eat oranges, while everyone knows banana's are more healthy
* Yarr not a Maokai or a Mumu
* Yarr not a Darius

What is it?: Passive
Effects: Damage over time and slow
Requirements: Hitting the enemy
Type: Apply-on-hit
Use: Chasing
Upgrading at: X
Narr the most useful passive evarrr, but it will will still grant you a nice slow, for catching your booty! The damage be minimal me hearty, do not count too much on the damage.
Remember: This passive is NOT strengthened by anything, not AP, not AD, not HP, NOTHING :O
It also works with magic damage instead of physical damage.



What is it?: Q-spell
Effects: Ranged damage + bonus gold and reduced mana cost on kill
Requirements (Gold + mana): Any kill counts, minion or champ
Type: Target shot
Use: Killing your enemies
Upgrading at: 1,3,5,7,9
This be thee plundering abilithee! You can poke your enemy to death with this, or farm with it on minions to get some extra gold! This ability counts as a melee, but still applies on hit effects! Perfect for Frozen Mallet, yarr.



What is it?: W-spell
Effects: Removes CC + Heal
Requirements (Heal): Requires AP for more healz
Type: Activation
Use: Breaking out of stuns and snares + lane sustain
Upgrading at: 4,14,15,17,18
This be grating thee great survival! When yarrr CC'ed, make sure to use this abilithee! Can really save your life many times!
Have a lot of mana, are low on health and no enemies around? Then just use it for the heals! Be great when farming top yarr.



What is it?: E-spell
Effects: Increases movement speed and attack damage
Requirements: None!
Type: Activation (Aura) + Passive (Non-Aura)
Use: Starting a teamfight or escaping one
Upgrading at: 2,8,10,12,13
This be your team abilithee! A real fight opener to strengthen yerr crew! And do not be afraid to use it, because while it is on cooldown, the passive remains active! YARR!!



What is it?: Ultimate!
Effects: Slows enemies and deals random amount of damage
Requirements (Damage): You need to be lucky where the cannonballs land!
Type: Global skill shot (Circle)
Use: Global assist maker, global farmer, teamfight starter and escape spell!
Upgrading at: 6,11,16
Yerrr crew be helping you from the ships! Use their cannons wisely!
Since there be so much options to use this for, here is when you should use it for primary!
1. Teamfights; Main priority, really deals some nice extra damage! Yarr!
2. Escaping; Thee crew be important, you must do all you can to save them! And yourself of course!
3. Assist maker; Yee can be helping with kills or get free assists from using this ultimate!
4. Tower saver; When enemies be pushing, you be cannoning! Yaharr!!
5. Global farmer; When it isn't on cooldown and you see a big wave, throw this spell on it!

Main (At least pick 1 of these):

Effects: Instantly teleports a small distance
Type: Instant skillshot (Following Cursor)
Use: Escaping and chasing
Thee spell of summoners rift! Use it to get over walls or get to the enemy! Yarr!



Effects: Increases movement speed and ignores movement collision
Type: Activation
Use: Escaping and chasing
Together with your Raise Morale, NO ONE WILL ESCAPE THE MIGHTY PIRATE! YARRRR!
Or... NO ONE WILL CHASE THE MIGHTY PIRATE! YARRR!


Effects: Reduces enemy movement speed and damage output
Type: Target shot
Use: Escaping, chasing and weakening the enemy damage
Great in combination with Ghost! Yarr! No one will escape you!

Alternative:

Effects: Teleports to an allied minion/turret
Type: Global target shot
Use: Lane sustain and ganking!
When pirates be having trouble, it'd be nice to be able to go back for a second! Be taking this if you didn't master the pirate yet!



Effects: Deals damage over time and reduces the enemy healing taken
Type: Target shot
Use: Killing!
When you think you are too awesome for escaping, thee should be taking more damage! Get this when you think you arrrrr to arresome!

RANDOM

Runes

Thee should be using tanky runes!
Or AD-caster runes!
With AD/ArP in Marks
With Armor/Utility in Seals
With MR flat/MR plvl in Glyphs
With AD/ArP in Quints

No exeptions! YARR!

Masteries

Thee be playing bruiser! Thee should act like bruiser!
Get 21-9-0 or 9-21-0!!
If thee thinks thee does to less damage, GET 21 POINTS IN OFFENSE!
Thee thinks thee takes too much damage, GET 21 POINTS IN DEFENSE!
YARR!

Starters!


Thee be needing lane sustain, so thee can be annoying for a longer time!
Pirates be needing this!


vs
Thee be playing bruiser, thee cannot allow to take too much damage!
Take one of these! If the enemy be having little CC then be taking Ninja tabi!
When enemy be having lots of CC then be taking Mercs! Yarr!



Gangplank is be needing slows, and thou could take Iceborn Gauntlet or Trinity Force for slows and be dealing more damage. But yarr a bruiser, and yarr do not want yarr enemies to escape! Trinity Force to unreliable and Iceborn Gauntlet is for landlubbers! We be needing health! YARR!



Yerr a bruiser, get it noa!



They be thinking they can kill the pirate, but yerr better than that! Survive their petty attacks with yer great health! The health regen also be nice! Be needing less scurvy removing, hehe.



Noa you are tanky AND you deal damage! They be no escaping you! Thanks to yerr great slows! And they be punished aswell for staying close! YARR WITH ME CREWMEMBER! YAHARR HARR HARR



To finish it off, we get sum defense hearties. Noa you have strong resistance, strong health, and even when you die, YOU COME BACK!!! YARR WITH ME! YARR HARR HARR!

Chatting:
Make sure whenever your game starts, you type in all-chat:
"Yarr! I be plundering thee booty, landlubbers!"

This will raise your morale, and the enemy team will fear you now of your great awesomeness.
And whenever you make a kill, escape or have succes with anything, make sure you say "YARRR" in all-chat. This will make them fear you even more.


Laning:
Yerr winning lane? Then be using your Q on the enemy champ.
Yerr be losing lane? Then be using your Q for last hits.
Yerr not sure? Then be using enemy Q on the enemy champ.

Think you can kill the enemy? Ultimate, Raise morale, Exhaust, ghost, QQQQQQQQQQ WIN!
IN THAT ORDER!

Yerr getting ganked? Raise morale, ghost, RUN RUN RUN! Q when you have Frozen Mallet!


Teamfights:
YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE! YOU ARRRRR A PIRATE!
KILL THE WEAKLINGS! THE LANDLUBBERS NEED TO KNOW WHAT REAL PIRATES CAN DO! YARRRRR!

Yarrr

That was all!

MAY YERR BOAT NEVER SINK!
-Meiyjhe