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Toshabi Gaymin' Review: Gangsta Ghetto Blaster...

Creator: Toshabi
February 27, 2013 11:36pm
10 posts page 1 of 1 Forums » Off Topic » Toshabi Gaymin' Review: Gangsta Ghetto Blaster Toddlers LXIII: Reach ODST 2
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Toshabi » February 27, 2013 11:36pm | Report


Whadd up homies?


Unlike my other reviews I've done in the past, this one will most definitely view my biased opinion of probably one of the most engaging gameplay experiences I've ever had. (I won't touch the story of this game cause it's P ****ING BAD ***, unlike my UNBIASED views of DMC:DMC)


So like, GGBTLXIII:RODST 2 starts off pretty epicly (My spell check said that's not a word, but honestly, that not-word PERFECTLY DESCRIBES THIS GAME) by introducing to the crowd the most badass, ghetto blat blat company ever to exist. Yeh! Mah nunka's Mowtown WORD UP! REPRESENT IN DIS HIZZOUSE!



Pretty rad. Motown now not only pioneered rap, it now is going to pioneer biggity blat blat bangin' type vidya games, ya feelin' me? But yeh, this game has a pretty rad company backing it with talent such as Ian Verchere and Arthur We up to the plate on the artistic and director side of this game. This game was so great that directors in Hollywood and other places were like "SHIIIIIIT! THIS GAME MAN! THIS GAME! WE NEED TO MAKE THIS REAL MANG!" and BLAMO! BEBE'S KIDS THE SHOW-err MOVIE-SOMETHIN! PARAMOUNT PICTURES PRESENTS: BEBE'S KIDS!



But yeah, enough of my fanboying, let's hop into this review! Right away, it throws you into something that no other game has EVER done before; a character selection screen! You don't have to play the game through to unlock either character you just BLAM! The extra character is there and they fuuuuucking ROCK! This ain't no "Preorder now and get EXCLUSIVE DLC that you have to buy if you didn't preorder!" bull**** or "If you're a premium Playstation Xbox WiiCube member, you get these" garbage, this is the gaming director saying "Hey! Thanks for buying my ****! Here! Have this gift!"




The story behind this game was pretty deep and it does a very good job narrating it and telling it to the audience. I won't delve too deep into it because it's pretty awesome and you should totally discover it for yourself. The artwork that they have illustrating these deep and imaginative cut scenes are off the roof too. I know I'd spend hours just trying to draw a straight line, I can't imagine how long it took for them to be able to take on the amount of work that went into such complex and visually descriptive character designs. It really launches the mind into having a full blow imaginationgasm. When you feel something trickle out from your ears, you'll know exactly what I mean!




I believe the real experience behind the game is during the first cut scene, the lady is pointing out a bunch of rules and stuff. And like, you CAN'T READ THE RULES even though the game lady asks you to observe the rules! And I know what you're thinking "That's really lame and just lazy artwork to not make understandable rules", but hold onto your ponies, I'm about to blow your ****ing mind! What if you can't read the rules because YOU DON'T ****ING CARE ABOUT THE RULES?! AYE!? YEAH! It really puts you in character because of course NERDS are going to play this game. And what do nerds like to do more than READ?! If the nerds spent the entire 30 minutes of the game trying to read the rules, not only would they be delayed from enjoying a pretty rad game, they'd also not be able to get into the minds of these characters. The game directors were pretty ****ing smart when they decided to go this route and completely **** block any attempt to read these rules. So because of that, you'll spend a total of like, 1 second on this cut scene and feel like a "YEEEEH **** DAH POLICE" preteen badass rather than a nerdy 40 year old virgin adult! I mean just LOOK at that smug as **** look KaHLiL has on his face!! This is just a FRACTION of crazy *** concepts that this game has to offer. But that's just the icing on the cake, the combat and encounters are pretty EPIC!



In this game, you can,...




Play basketball on ice cream stands!



Encounter fursuiters!



Get molested by agent Smith.





Destroy Terminators and prevent Judgement Day!





AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAああああああああああああああああああああああああ!!!!







Overall, this game is the best game I have ever played. The Bebe's Kids team worked their *** off to produce this lump of gaming gold that is to be cherished by all for generations to come. The art was very pleasing to the eye, the story made me cry my heart out, and the challenge of the game wasn't too hard and wasn't too easy! If you think that's amazing, you should wait and see till you listen to the soundtrack of this game. THAT'S RIGHT! MOTOWN MADE SOME FUNKY JAMS! The right music and sound design can make or break a game, and it's sad to see that not much thought is really put into it these days. Just listen to this for a minute.





The only thing was this game wasn't long enough. I was expecting to enjoy this for at least like,... another thousand years, but apparently, to make a game that long, it'll take a really really long time. But the good thing is this game is like, super duper enjoyable, so there's no doubt that you're going to want to play this game again, maybe as lil funk sis. You'll play it 5 times. Then 5 more times. Then you'll go out and buy another copy and play that copy 5555555 more times.


Pros:
*GREAT CHARACTERS
*GREAT MUSIC
*CHANCE TO BEAT UP FURRIES
*AGENT SMITH AND ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER CAMEO IN IT!
*GREAT CONTROLS
*GREAT VISUALS

Cons:
*NOT 1000 YEARS WORTH OF GAMEPLAY



Gangsta Ghetto Blaster Toddlers LXIII: Reach ODST 2 gets 5,285,302,512 YEAHYUH's out of 19.


Gangsta Ghetto Blaster Toddlers LXIII: Reach ODST 2 will be coming out for the Playstation 4 in June 2014.


(Also note: They aren't really Bebe's kids, they were the kids of his brother who slept with his wife! DAAAAYUUUUM!)
IceCreamy wrote:

(1:07): I prefer your balls over ***hol












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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by DillButt64 » February 28, 2013 12:09am | Report
wtf no final boss battle in your review?
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Searz » February 28, 2013 8:57am | Report
I was almost expecting to find a review like this after seeing cau's review.

You did not disappoint.
Sittin' on chimneys, putting fire up my ***.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Vaan99 » February 28, 2013 9:38am | Report
You really like criticising caucheka, if you put that much commitment into something useful who knows what could you accomplish...
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Toshabi » February 28, 2013 10:40am | Report
Vaan99 wrote:

You really like criticising caucheka, if you put that much commitment into something useful who knows what could you accomplish...



Like getting platinum rank on a videogame? :V *snap snap snap*
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Pølsemanden » February 28, 2013 11:04am | Report
Toshabi wrote:




Like getting platinum rank on a videogame? :V *snap snap snap*

well apparently not that much.
Ty MM and Blood for the sigs :3 | Rammus is comming back - heard it here first!


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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Nighthawk » February 28, 2013 12:35pm | Report
is there a lord of chaos in this game


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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Rhollback » February 28, 2013 4:31pm | Report
Have I ever told you that I loved you, Toshabi?

This is hysterical xD

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Yougan » March 1, 2013 7:59am | Report
What the ****?

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep | Commend by Toshabi » March 1, 2013 6:29pm | Report
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