Before the game, pull a pistol out of a chest and question your life choices.

After that, furiously e­­­­­­­­­­­­jaculate during the loading queue.

Instalock bard and say "MID OR FEED". If they reject, go mid anyways.

Continue to descriptively describe the se­­­­men and your pe­­­­nis and how hard it will be during the game.

Make some di­­­­­­­­ck cheese in preperation and hand it out to the enemy and ally team during the loading screen.

Steal all of your JG's monsters and siege minions. Bard is the best champion in the game so you will get fed
and carry easily. If the JG gets mad, say "get dolphed".

Selfheal yourself to go faster and steal it. Use portals to steal it. Ult to steal it.

Always portal into the enemy. You will easily kill them and get 5 hexakills.

Constantly spam the all chat with "U GUYS SUCK FORFIET ALREADY NOOBS"

Ping constantly for assistance to where you are not, and any time you see an enemy
constantly ping them.

Spam the V ping ifa someone takes any damage at all. Also spam in the chaat "WTF NOOB RECALL ALREADY
UR FEEDING NEWB"

If someone is breaking an enemy turret, ult them. The ult will do damage to the turret when
it is over.

Leave your lane to solo JG, baron, and dragon with a single AA because you are so OP.

Smite your ally JG. If they try to stop you, kill them.

If anyone trys to kill you, stun them with your ult and then use cleanse to get rid of the ult on you
but they will still be stuck.

Be good at video games.

If someone on your team gives FB, call them a nooblord over and over.

Fuc­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­king be gay as hell.

Go clockwise. Win.