Fiddlesticks just got ganked.
Fiddlesticks[All]: 3v1 u *******
Garen[All]: its called ganking
Fiddlesticks[All]: whatever noob

Vayne: teemo ks
Teemo: ks = kill secured

Gragas just rescued Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: thx grag
Gragas: np
Gragas: know what really gets my **** hard?
Gragas: helping out friends
Warwick: XD
Caitlyn: r u drunk?
Gragas: no
Caitlyn: irl
Gragas: ye
Warwick: i love drunk people

In team select, Janna, Ashe, and Lux have already been chosen…
Janna: all girls! cmon!
(someone picks Casseopeia)
Lux: yes one more!
(someone picks Sivir)
Janna: GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!
Sivir: lol
Ashe: irl im a boy

Jax: i just realized jax is a ninja turtle
Blitzcrank: my mind is blown

While playing TT…
Lee Sin [All]: singed sux @ TT
Instantly a wall of text appears…
Dr. Mundo [All]: hahahahahahahahaha
Heimerdinger [All]: lol are you SERIOUS??
Lux [All]: ******ed
Cho’Gath 1 [All]: omg nooooooob
Graves [All]: lol u dumbass

After a bloody teamfight only Ashe and Alistar remain and they decide to end it with a fist fight. Both are empty on mana and low on health. Both think they can win this by just standing there trading autoattacks. Then the impossible happens: they both die. Ashe fires an arrow at melee range, Alistar punches her dead, then the arrow kills him, all in a sliver of a fraction of a second.
Ashe [All]: WHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTT???
Alistar [All]: wow that really just happened
Ashe [All]: i seriously just screamed out loud
Alistar [All]: hahaha
Jarvan IV [All]: its true i heard her scream from the other room

Tryndamere: nunu go top pls
Amumu: ok
Tryndamere: I said NUNU not AMUMU
Amumu: o ok
Nunu: lol

Talon [All]: wtf i killed u leblanc i saw u die
LaBlanc [All]: hahahaa

Dr Mundo: look at my build
Swain: y do u have 3 warmogs?
Dr Mundo: hahaha
Tryndamere: awesome I should get 6 bf swords
Dr Mundo: yeah do it
Swain: i hate u all i mean that

Vladamir: I got that nigga chrome rammus rollin on dubs

While waiting for creeps to spawn…
Master Yi: girls don’t play lol
Irelia: im a girl
Master Yi: really?
Irelia: haha yes
Master Yi: like really irl?
Irelia: yes really
Master Yi: like with a vagina and stuff?
Irelia: yes last i checked
Swain: don’t talk to him about your vagina hes probably just 11 years old
Master Yi: NO IM NOT
Swain: fine then yer 12
No further argument comes from Master Yi

Some Guy: who the **** still plays wow?

Two players from opposing teams have a brief quarrel…
Akali [All]: my team sux so bad
Kayle [All]: how bout u try to focus on working with your team instead of insulting them?
Akali [All]: **** you

Ashe: im building all HP Ashe
Pantheon: does that actually work?
Ashe: no

Nocturne: mid
Ezreal: mid
Nocturne and Ezreal both start heading mid …
Nocturne: Ez I called mid
Fizz: me too guys
Fizz: ill mid too!
Fizz leaves his lane heading for mid…
Nocturne: NO
Leona: omw
Leona leaves her lane heading for mid…
Ezreal: haha yea
Mordekaiser: EVERYBODY MID
Mordekaiser leaves his lane heading for mid…
Nocturne: NO GUYS CMON
Fizz: lets all go mid and dance
Leona: haha yes midlane dance party
Nocturne: NO GUYS B SERIOUS
Ezreal: everyone is invited
Everyone is dancing in middle lane, except Nocturne…
Nocturne: GUYS STOP

Me: Why does destroying nexus give u 50 gold?
My Buddy: for the victory beers

Malphite: hi my name is Malphite
Talon: idc
Twisted Fate: this is the worst aa meeting ever
Xerath: agreed
Twisted Fate: wheres grags?
Talon: I think at the bar
Twisted Fate: youre his sponsor, where were you???
Talon: sorry

Kassadin: OMG GUYS IM SO SRY STUPID BROTHR GOT ON MY ACCOUNT PLZ DONT REPORT

in an unranked pub game…
Vayne: exactly im just trying to have fun and play a game
Veigar [All]: Report xin for negative attitude please
Vayne: and you my friend make it horrible
Xin Zhao: if all you want is a game... then play normal
Xin Zhao: i'm not here to be liked
Xin Zhao: i'm here to win