(disclaimer: having worked for you does not mean that this is any good at all. I have done many a crazy things in LoL and somehow won, but over time and against good players these things would not work unless you're getting carried by someone else.

Also: before you go there, I have played AD Vladimir and jungle Vladimir)

Ok, now here's a list why this guide doesn't work:

• You don't compromise with a type of language. You say "reach diamond elo" on something that would never allow that, you utilize jokes all the time giving a guide to something that is far off what people do and the meta itself tones of it being a joke, but then it's supposed to be serious;
• AD Vladimir is nothing short of terrible, even for relaxed games and on a scale of standard of AP champions gone AD. He has mediocre range (450), one of the game's worst auto-attack animation which the player can easily cancel by accident, absolutely no ad scalings, no cc apart from a slow that is supposed to be mostly used for diving/running and pretty much no mobility.
• Jungle Vladimir is also terribad: his first clear is more painful than Sona's jungle clear (I would know), W is useless at all times and he can't do jack if invaded. He is a really weak early gamer and sending him to the jungle isn't doing people any favors. Not to mention AD Vlad ganks mean no damage or sticking power, even with red buff, because of your terrible AAs;
• Your build for an AD Vladimir is atrocious. Final build has absolutely no damage, your only attack speed for a champion with terrible base AS and AA animation are boots, you can be easily ignored by any champion and be blown up last. I mean, you have almost no utility apart from ult which is independent from your stats, you can hardly peel for anyone and you have no sticking power;
• Best MRes Glyph combination - specially for junglers - mixes Flat MRes with Scaling Mres
• Spell Weaving and Blade Weaving are worthless;
• Any jungle Vladimir guide would be questionable, but at least giving him AP would make him not worthless if you reached midgame without going 0/10. As this guide is, you'll be pretty much worthless the entire game;

I'm all for novelty, but between this and AP Riven there's little to no difference. Although I'm sure AP Riven has more early damage potential.

No

The jokes are included for some comedic relief. The BT thing is obviously fake, the ranked stats, so is the muramana bit. The rest of the guide is pretty serious. You shouldn't knock it till you try it. Just remember your passive is rather useless, that's probably the biggest downside to this. And jungle over bot lane because you are safer in the jungle. Anybody with half a brain would try to aggro you really hard bot lane. Seriously though, give jungle blood man a shot. You won't be dissapointed.

ALSO I EVEN PUT A DISCLAIMER IN THE GUIDE. I specifically wrote if you are a new player or new to jungling, to learn how to jungle with a more conventional champion and get comfortable with the game before attemtping Jungle Vladimir. I said if you are new to the game or new to jungling, to stay far away from this build.

Trying to make a joke guide which has 50% serious tones makes no sense. If you're trying to fool new players good job at attempting to be an ***, if you're trying to make people laugh you should probably try harder