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So you want to run a duo top smiteless jungle Zyra in the 5v4 meta... and win? Read on.

First, you have to expect someone else to pick Zyra. Politely don't take Zyra at first, but don't otherwise pay any attention to the picks. Four picks, no jungler... wait, Zyra is free?!?!?!? HELL YEAH!

Take a bit of a long time shopping, because you're not totally prepared. Get Doran's Ring. Have a polite discussion with Katarina about who should mid. Be really noncommittal, because neither of you are playing your best champ (yours was just released, lol). End up going top just because it's easier than switching at that point. (After all, you took a long time to shop)

You could go mid right away if it worked out otherwise, but you'd have to look for a good time to recall and get someone to switch if you still want to run smiteless jungle Zyra.

Hide in the bush a lot until that gets old, letting Darius farm. Then harass Gangplank a bit. Farm up some boot money, have a bit left over for wards.

All lanes should be holding now. Blue buff looks kinda tempting. Go ahead, take it. You'll crawl away with 1/4 of your health, but whatever. Do wolves too. Maybe buy more wards or something, you can't really afford Kage's Lucky Pick yet.

Here's where you start to sort of shine but not really.

Wards win games, and you're warding. Nocturne will probably call you a ********. Let him.

Tristana will leave the game, and then it will get harder to find things to do. All lanes are pushed, but you can plant-harass at their turrets or something. Hopefully someone will do something crazy like try to steal a buff of get horribly out of position so there will be something a bit more interesting to do soon.

The best part about duo top smiteless jungle Zyra is that for most of the game, the jungle hurts you a lot, and then you have to recall. Basically, the enemy never knows where you are. Eventually Nocturne will think he has a kill on your Ashe, but you'll just pop him up for a double kill without even being able to see anything. It's kind of messed up, that ranged AoE.

Anyway, by now, Katarina is probably winning 3v1s in the jungle, so whatever.

Go like 8/7/8 or something, even though your team is 42/20. It's ok, you're not good at Zyra. You're just trying to have fun.

Eventually, you'll get to the Nexus, mostly because the 5v4 meta is like that. Also, Anivia gets out of position too much, so bully her most of the game. But you want to push to the Nexus whenever you can, because.......

Wear the last living non-AFK champ down. If it's Anivia, make her into an egg. Then dive on the fountain and use your passive to make sure she dies before she makes it there. Post footage on LeagueReplays. High five whomever you can. Write a guide.

The end.

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