Okay. This is what's up. See that manly looking armodillo in that picture? That's ******* Rammus. And under my wing of expertise, I'll teach you everything you need to know about the full Wammus build. Now, this IS my first build guide, so it might be a little sloppy, but it's a work in progress.

Here's the pros and the cons.
Pros - At lvl 18, you turn into the ultimate little Armored *****, here to relinquish you of your measly virginity. Your ult does ten quadrillion ****ing damage late game. You can take all kinds of punishment and the laugh about it with your other desert based buddies of whom you share sexual relations.
Cons - Weak early game. Requires a lot of hugging and you have to be capable with your taunt. Has ****ing no range at all.

Number 1 - For this build to work properly, you MUST have Full Metal Rammus skin. This comes up later.
Number 2 - Even though this is designed for bot laning with a trusted ally of whom you share sexual relations, it is also great for soloing top lane. Wammus, the Armored ***** is best when you're not a ****ing ******, so keep in mind, if you see that the other team has mostly AP's, instead ofThornmail, get a ******* Force a Nature. If there's both, then get both, and toss the Philosopher's stone later on.

Now, lesson 1 in strategy for getting fed. You cannot get more fed in champion kills than in minion kills (we've tried, and it resulted in the untimely death of a rhesus monkey used for scientific experimentation and genetic mutation) This is bottom line. So, until you get your ult, you stand the **** back and kill minions. Infact, kill minions when you're not killing champs. Got it? Good.
Lesson 2. You taunt, and then alternate between basic attacks, Q and W'ing your enemy until he dies or escapes.
Lesson 3. Wammus the Armored ***** is an amazing back door champion, which can nuke the **** out of turrets and get the **** out of there when there's **** going on back at spawn. Use this well.

Now the individual abilities and their uses.
Q - When you have to walk somewhere, you ****ing rape the balls out of that key. But be wary, since you have the Full Metal Rammus skin skin (if you don't, get the **** off of this build guide until you get it), you must yell either IRL or in /all chat, "AUTOBOTS. TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT." Any other quote would be misuse.
W - You may be the most invincible ****er on either team, but W is your second wall of pure unscathed armor.
E - If this button is not raped the **** out of when fighting an enemy champ, then you don't deserve to be called Wammus the Armored *****
R - This is your most powerful attack. Fact. This ****er does ****loads of damage to turrets. Fact. At lvl 18, if you turn it on during a fight, you will most likely win like a boss or lose like a crying baby. Fact. Also regenerates in no time at all.

Alright. Alternate items. Why? Maybe Wammus the Armored ***** isn't exactly a choice pick. Maybe the enemy team has all AP's. Well, this is why there are alternate items to replace it.
For starters, if the enemy team is ALL AP, then you should be able to tell that instead of Thornmail, get Force of Nature. And then replace the Philosopher's Stone with a Banshee's Veil, and then replace the Heart of Gold with a Guardian Angel. Super simple stuff. Actually, that pretty much sums this section up. Depending on how much AP there is (3 or more, rush that ********ed Force of Nature). Just don't be dumb.