Biography

Test Your Assertive Skills
Answer Yes or No to each statement below that describes your behavior:
• I have a difficult time telling family members and friends that they have done something that offends me.
• I say yes quickly to requests before taking the time to consider what the request involves, or the time it may take.
• Sometimes it is difficult for me to hang up the phone on telemarketers, or to tell salespeople in stores that I am just window shopping.
• Voicing my opinion when a group is discussing an important matter is difficult, even when I think my opinion is valuable.
• I feel uncomfortable, even incompetent at times, when I have to ask for clarification when I am confused about or don't understand what someone has said.
• I do not accept criticism well. I often get resentful or overreact to others who find fault in my performance or my actions.
• I have difficulty accepting compliments and often downplay my accomplishments or appearance.
• Requesting favors from others is something I do not often do.
• I find it difficult to tell people that I have changed my mind after I have agreed to do something for them.
• Returning an improperly prepared meal in a restaurant, or a defective item purchased in a store is difficult for me.
Now count the number of times you answered, "yes." Did you answer “Yes” to three or more of these questions? Then you are in the right place. And you are probably thinking - if being assertive is so important and the most positive way to act, why do so many people have problems being assertive?
in addition to not wanting to take a risk, many of us believe the irrational myths that exist about being assertive that we have already bought into while growing up. Here are some of these myths I know you have encountered:
• Myth #1 – Other people will become angry with me If I assert myself, if I stand up for my rights.
Reality – Not so. If I assert myself, the effects may be positive, negative or neutral. However, since being assertive involves legitimate rights, I believe the odds are in my favor to have some positive result. I can’t go around being a doormat and not asserting my rights.
“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson