Welcome to that special corner of hellthe community that has transcended beyond the countless flaming, trolling, crying, egoing, ragequitting and other 12yr old tendencies. If you're here that means you've embraced the toxicity and have allowed yourself to be fully, wholly, and completely integrated into it. You are cancer incarnate. You are the embodiment of pure evil. While your team rages at you for being stealthed next to the teamfight, unmoving and unflinching, you... you cackle maniacally as the enemy team breezes past you and their carries are finally within range. Then you AA>Q>AA, spam laugh, and W away into the darkened minefield of shrooms.

Maybe it's because my main champion pool since S4 has consisted of Shaco, Twitch, Eve, Heim, and Teemo I have a predisposition for toying with people's emotions. This Teemo build has to be the most high risk-reward thing I have played so far and it's been pure joy even when I'm losing.

This build focuses around one's ability to position ahead of the fight. You ARE NOT a sustained dps or even trying to poke people down during teamfights. You will get focused and you will die. Your job is to set up the team fight before it's ever even started. Shroom the place down then pick a GOOD spot and wait. Someone steps on a shroom and lags behind the team? Pick em off. Your team baits enemies past you and suddenly their backline is exposed? NUKE THAT ****. Some jackhole thought they could have their own blue buff? HAH! I THINK NOT! Positioning and ability to predict your opponent is the ONLY key to success here. Mechanics be damned! If we wanted a highly mechanical champion we'd all be Riven mains.

First Buy:
Long Sword or Doran's Shield/Blade + Pots

First Rotation:
You can either get E first or Q. I prefer Q because with the new runes not only is your first Q free, but it also doesn't approx 100dmg at level 1. That's going to be very unexpected. Just auto them when you can, save Q for either when they engage, when it's a free cast, or when you can all-in. Play extremely safe, yet annoying. Take cheap shots when you can, then back off and focus on farming. Most Teemo players are either hyper aggressive or extremely passive and everyone knows this, so switching back and forth will have them guessing which way you plan on taking things.

First Back:
Revolver + Long Sword

Round 2:
Now that we have Revolver we can start weaving some good Auto+Q trades into our farming. Since this is a fairly common item for Teemo to build we can maintain the illusion that we're just a regular Teemo player looking to rush Gunblade and sustain our lane. But we're not. For now we just wash, rinse, repeat our trade and back cycles until we have Duskblade.

Now that we have Duskblade we can start playing the game. But how? Well... for starters you know that lane opponent you've been confusing all game? Yeah, we'll get back to them in a minute. We're going camping.

Go straight to their Blue/Red from base. If it's up, don't take it. Throw some shrooms around somewhere they won't step on them coming TO the camp, but WILL step on if they try to fight or run. Now we wait. My general rule of thumb is if I have to wait more than 20s for the enemy JG, or if they show somewhere else on the map, I take the camp and go back top(if my lane is pushed) or go mid(if our mid is pushed in and enemy present). If you're going mid, come in on their side of the river after making sure you won't get spotted out by minions before you turn the corner into the lane. AA>Q>AA>W and chase. I promise you if you don't absolutely obliterate them you will at LEAST force a back. Guaranteed. Return to lane and push it out.

Focus on the top portion of the map (Top, JG, Mid) until both outer towers are down top. You don't want to go bot until you're absolutely sure they can't blitz your tower down while you're gone. If towers are down, that frees you up to roam anywhere you like.

After Duskblade is complete the build is fairly open to interpretation. Obviously you'll want to finish Gunblade 2nd and go from there. If you need more AA range, RFC provides that plus a little extra burst. Need substantially more burst? Luden's not only provides that, but now you have both AD and AP burst plus more AP for your Q. Want to add some extra OOMF to all that burst? Lich Bane. Throw in some Swifties(preferred) or whatever boots you fancy whenever you feel the need and you've got yourself a full build.

But why is Deathcap and Void in the build? Well, simply put, they're optional. It's preferred that if anything gets dropped out of the core build it's either RFC or boots. You can figure out which item you'd need to buy to replace it, but you shouldn't ever reach that point from my experiences.

-Always keep an eye on what your opponents are doing.

-If your team is dying a lot, ask yourself why and who's killing them.

-If you're getting camped by Mid/JG, don't fret. It's not ideal, but it takes pressure off your other lanes. As long as you're paying attention you should be fine. Plus you're wasting their time.

-Be. Annoying. DO IT. Even if it means going 1-1 while you dive their whole team. 1-1 is a fair trade, plus it'll accomplish two things. #1 The person you kill will be tilted cause Teemo. #2 The rest of them will get cocky because they killed the Teemo.

-Should you unfortunately fall so far behind that you can't even stay in lane, don't be afraid to feed a kill or two to get your JG's attention. Provided you haven't already fed your lane beyond belief, which shouldn't happen, your jungler will see your "struggle" and hopefully come help you back into the game.

-WATCH. THE. MAP. Seriously. Everything you need to win is on that map. Don't study it to the point you mindlessly walk into tower, but with proper vision and attention to detail you can easily tell which areas and targets you're going to want to focus later and it 1000% pays off. Map pressure > Lane pressure. REMEMBER THAT.

I should probably add more to this, but my wife is *****ing that I need to come eat. So have fun! Will be updating and refining soon!