Views: 1351 Boring life update thing
|
Report
I don't usually make these but a whole lot of things have happened recently so why not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So I'm not sure how many people will know this already, but I've been suffering with social anxiety and depression for a long time. I left school at 16, lost contact with all of my friends and haven't done a thing since then. It was fairly ****ty and as time passed I began to get negative mood swings more frequently, but I was always able to cope with them aside from the occasional outburst. Starting to play League probably helped since I made a lot of online friends and I could ****post on Mobafire, but it still kept happening.
I think after going to Cologne last year for Gamescom and having a great time actually feeling normal for once hanging out with Wayne and his friends for 3 days, it began to really hit me what I was missing out on by not having any friends around and not doing anything with my life. I began to get more and more depressed increasingly often, although I tried my best to avoid letting it show.
In April I basically had a complete breakdown after I finished watching something that reminded me of what I really wanted in life. I couldn't hide it anymore and my mother found me crying in the bathroom (which I'd been doing for most of the day). From then on things got pretty bad, and about a month later after arguing with her over something minor I started experiencing constant feelings of extreme anxiety and panic for about 4 or 5 days in a row, during which time my stomach completely stopped working right and I couldn't breathe properly. It was very fun!
Thankfully, after you hit rock bottom I guess there's nowhere to go but up. I went to a doctor and I was prescribed antidepressants. The first type I was given triggered the anxiety again, even worse than before, and I wasn't able to sleep for 3 days. The second type didn't cause a problem aside from a few initial headaches and one pretty nasty panic attack.
At this point it was August and I'd been on a waiting list for CBT for almost three months, so I lost my patience. I decided **** it, no one is going to help me except myself. I'll take matters into my own hands and force myself to fix this ****. I began taking every possible opportunity to go out places with my family, then I started talking to student advice at my local college and ended up applying to start my A levels in September. I was nervous at first and couldn't sleep, but the interview went fine.
Surprisingly, by the time enrolment came around my anxiety was completely gone - when I went in there were hundreds of people enrolling and I felt nothing at all, everyone working there was extremely nice and I even ended up talking to some of the other students. I'm starting college on the 7th and starting out at a Kendo club for the first time tonight. I feel normal for the first time I can remember, and all of my anxiety and hopelessness has been replaced by confidence and a certainty that things are going to work out fine. I don't know if it's the tablets taking effect or a change in my personality or both, but I'm very grateful and I hope things stay like this forever.
tl;dr: i was bad but now im gr8
sry 4 spam
So I'm not sure how many people will know this already, but I've been suffering with social anxiety and depression for a long time. I left school at 16, lost contact with all of my friends and haven't done a thing since then. It was fairly ****ty and as time passed I began to get negative mood swings more frequently, but I was always able to cope with them aside from the occasional outburst. Starting to play League probably helped since I made a lot of online friends and I could ****post on Mobafire, but it still kept happening.
I think after going to Cologne last year for Gamescom and having a great time actually feeling normal for once hanging out with Wayne and his friends for 3 days, it began to really hit me what I was missing out on by not having any friends around and not doing anything with my life. I began to get more and more depressed increasingly often, although I tried my best to avoid letting it show.
In April I basically had a complete breakdown after I finished watching something that reminded me of what I really wanted in life. I couldn't hide it anymore and my mother found me crying in the bathroom (which I'd been doing for most of the day). From then on things got pretty bad, and about a month later after arguing with her over something minor I started experiencing constant feelings of extreme anxiety and panic for about 4 or 5 days in a row, during which time my stomach completely stopped working right and I couldn't breathe properly. It was very fun!
Thankfully, after you hit rock bottom I guess there's nowhere to go but up. I went to a doctor and I was prescribed antidepressants. The first type I was given triggered the anxiety again, even worse than before, and I wasn't able to sleep for 3 days. The second type didn't cause a problem aside from a few initial headaches and one pretty nasty panic attack.
At this point it was August and I'd been on a waiting list for CBT for almost three months, so I lost my patience. I decided **** it, no one is going to help me except myself. I'll take matters into my own hands and force myself to fix this ****. I began taking every possible opportunity to go out places with my family, then I started talking to student advice at my local college and ended up applying to start my A levels in September. I was nervous at first and couldn't sleep, but the interview went fine.
Surprisingly, by the time enrolment came around my anxiety was completely gone - when I went in there were hundreds of people enrolling and I felt nothing at all, everyone working there was extremely nice and I even ended up talking to some of the other students. I'm starting college on the 7th and starting out at a Kendo club for the first time tonight. I feel normal for the first time I can remember, and all of my anxiety and hopelessness has been replaced by confidence and a certainty that things are going to work out fine. I don't know if it's the tablets taking effect or a change in my personality or both, but I'm very grateful and I hope things stay like this forever.
tl;dr: i was bad but now im gr8
sry 4 spam
holy **** kendo was exhausting everything hurts send hlep
Try not to get hit. :P
Btw, gj so far. I haz a lot of reespectus 4 yew naow \;^ - ^;/
no but seriously, as someone who can't stand *******s that can't help themselves and continually waste away their life while blaming others (or even worse, blaming themselves but not doing anything to make a change) you've caught my eye in a positive light. Hit me up if you need to talk about anything really, but mostly stuff relating to being tired out by social situations and whatnot. I think I might be of some assistance in that department.
Good luck and keep your efforts up!
I am proud of you <3
in all seriousness I'm happy things are working out for you :)
༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst... Hey over here kid...
That reminds me of myself when I'm 40 :^)
In all seriousness, it's good that things have been helping. You're also one of the few cases I know where League helped rather than made you go even more antisocial and autistic.
Good to hear a story that actually has good almost ending to it :)
If you need anyone to talk to, you can hmu anytime (pls not in the middle of the night because I will flame) :)