Not Updated For Current Season
The masteries shown here are not yet updated for the current season, the guide author needs to set up the new masteries. As such, they will be different than the masteries you see in-game.
What's up you *******
Today is my first day on this ****ty website but I felt bad for you so I made this guide so that your little *****es can go erect with joy after you read this guide and get that free
E L O
So no more wasting time, I'm gonna start with the basic of the basic you you ****ing idiots can understand the L A N E P H A S E did you get that? No? I didn't expect much from you anyways.
Nothing strange unless you want to get freaky, then get some death timer runes since you might me feeding a lot I'm assuming, maybe some gold per sec because I know you can't cs for ****. But if you don't want to do anything strange or if you're not bad then just get some AP Marks, MR blues, Armor yellow, and AP Quintessences.
The ******* who have Lissandra to take Thunderlords is an idiot its all about that S O A (Strength of Ages for you ****ing idiots) Sure it deals damage but guess what? How can you deal damage if you're dead, anyways it add a lot of early game health to Lissandra which is very nice during the lane phase.
Alright you know in the beginning how I called you a *****? That was to set the idea in your subconscious that you ARE a *****, a GIANT *****. Why? because of the Items you're gonna build. ROA, scared of running out of mana? Sunfire, sacred of dying to AD? Spirit Visage, sacred of dying to AP? Zhonya's literally makes you invincible. And GA the biggest P U S S Y item you can get. The name of the game is to not die here if you idiots can even ****ing tell anything out of your vagina for a brain.
Lane Phase (Early Game)
We play like a ***** here, you're **** early game, so don't not be a ***** and try anything cheeky unless your opponent is even more of an ****ing idiot like yourself. Just attempt to CS under tower if you have to don't use you're Q to push lane or to try and poke since you'll just die. It might be boring to play but if you're a true vagina you can do it.
This is when you have you're ROA and your tank item of choice and maybe even a second tank item. Assuming that you have your tower already, start roaming and making plays since this is where you're the most strong at. E in and W maybe get a flash in there somewhere, this is like your mid-life crisis where you don't really want to be a ***** anymore and just kind of start being more out going but it still kind of awkward.
Alright now you have your Zhonya's and maybe even GA, after your mid-life crisis, you have truly embrace your inner ***** and found out that you're gay too. So now play like a ***** but do it with CONFIDENCE, flaunt your **** like a flamboyant gay male. Go in and make picks or initiate team fights with your E W Ult combo or switch it up with a Zhonya's first and then Ult. With you're GA you shouldn't die at all and if you die (Assuming you followed the guide and haven't made any major mistakes or your team isn't a bunch of feeding ******s) then it would be worth since your will capitalize your SICK engage and win anyways.
I hope you what you got from this guide is that when you play an engage champion like Lissandra you still have to be a *****, you have to be a ***** when it comes to death, be afraid of it and don't die at any cost unless you are saving a loved one (in this case its your ****ING CARRY) Anyways I see you ******s later on the rift (Ripped this **** straight form Phreak).