Sion Humor Guide by Helias
Not Updated For Current Season
This guide has not yet been updated for the current season. Please keep this in mind while reading. You can see the most recently updated guides on the browse guides page.
Not Updated For Current Season
The masteries shown here are not yet updated for the current season, the guide author needs to set up the new masteries. As such, they will be different than the masteries you see in-game.
This will be my first guide on mobafire, please leave me all your love and/or hate, or even better ways Sion could be played (even though you're **** wrong).
For starters, there are few ways people play Sion. AP(weak), AD(**** boss) or even Hybrid(you need a therapist) builds. Of course, I have nothing against you ****s playing Hybrid builds but **** you, stop ruining Sion. He's a wreckanator, doesn't play "best of both worlds" ***** **** builds. So **** off and play Akali.
Alright, enough of bull**** for now. Let's get to the build.
Runes, Masteries and Beautiful things
Greater Mark of Armor Penetration
Greater Seal of Scaling Mana Regeneration
Greater Glyph of Magic Resist
Greater Quintessence of Health
For runes, I take those for obvious reasons I think you ****s can figure it out.
Armor pen for more wreckage, mana regen because Sion is **** hungry for mana all game, magic resist because Sion is less manly towards little prissy mages and health for that early game tankiness.
For masteries, I go 21/9/0 because Sion is a boss. Even Dr. Mundo is a little girl compared to the great Sion. So he penta-kills when he pleases and survives with full health, that's why.
For summoner spells, those are really situational and just pick whatever you think you need, but I'm usually right and you need those two spells for obvious reasons, to gtfo and/or slow that son of a **** Ezreal who double flashed away.
For abilities, max accordingly R>E>W>Q, getting Q and W both by level 3. W>Q because maxing W first gives you more shield and more worth than getting a puny more damage on Q.
The fancy stuff if you ask me. All you need is your axe, and you blow **** up with that solely. But you can get those little trinkets if you wanna be more of a ****.
Core items (a.k.a. How to Penta-kill in 10 seconds)
I left out 1 item as that item can be situational. You take whatever you need. Another Phantom Dancer, a Warmog's Armor, a Last Whisper. Really depends, because now pretty much you can facerape their team so bad they'll have nightmares and wet their beds till their parents give them a slap and detention for the rest of their youth. You get the point.
Bad items that some people take and should feel bad about
No, you shut up. You are gonna rant about how Trinity Force gives you everything you need. Oh does it? Built from a Zeal, Phage and a Sheen, it is an item which pretty much gives you ****ty stats for a hefty price.
"But Helias! What about the sheeeeeeeeenz it gives me like 150x damageeeeeeeeeee!"
Calm your tits, Justin. How about you think for the first time, how many times are you gonna proc sheen. Your Cryptic Gaze and Death's Caress will be off cooldown for another ****ing 8 seconds. By then, a Phantom Dancer or two would have already aced the team, sipping a cup of coffee and laying in bed having sex with a hooker. You would be still trying to kill Annie who stacked warmogs and trolling your **** pants.
As for the slowing passive, you can get a red buff for that, you don't need to give your Soraka the red buff you know.
Laning and Farming
Start with a Cloth Armor and 5 Health Potion. You can get Boots of Speed and 3 Health Potion if you will lane against a skill shotting champion like Ezreal or Karthus. Don't get a Doran's Blade. Really, if I find one of you ****s getting that piece of **** first, you are gonna get butt****ed so bad. Find yourself blue pilling to base every minute, ****head. A smart opponent will harass you so ****ing bad you'll cry for Jesus.
Get a solo-lane. Usually top, but you can take mid if you wish, nobody can beat you with your laning capabilities. Keep farming, occasionally stun that mother****er and give him/her a good face****ing with your red fiery axe. You should be able to last till you get your Wriggle's Lantern and a Boots of Speed. Go back to lane, spoon feed that Malzahar a piece of your red metal till he is impassioned of your fiery fervent. Burn that mother****er.
No one farms better than Sion. Honestly, if someone can last hit better than you, please uninstall. With your E active on, your damage should be over 100s at level 3. Even that desperate Ezreal with full page of AD runes shouldn't have higher AD than you.
There's no early game, or mid-game, or late game for Sion. it's just called farm game. Farm like a **** all game, I'll ensure you'll be a **** all game.
After you're all farmed up and have most of the core build, get ready to fold that Annie in half. You're gonna be ****ing beast walking around with 3-4k health with 300+ AD. Everyone that appears in your mini-map is probably dead.
That's it. That's all you need to know in order to win. Upvote, downvote, hate, love, flame, worship me all you want. Sion is the mother****ing boss. Good luck pubstomping.
Pretty sure this guide is going to get deleted or something but I really don't care. Enjoy this whole wall of text ****s.