Disclaimer: read Sett guide first

Henlo frens and welcome back to one of my glorious guides on how to League of Legends. Today we be looking at the mighty AD Bruiser Taric.
Take a good long look at that body, look into my eyes and tell me you are still straight. No one can resist the charm and sexiness of that man.
Bruiser Taric is an elegant yet intimidating charakter. He is powerful enough to slay your enemies while keeping those you love save like some weird anime protagonist. Bruiser Taric is the protector of the weak creatures such as Nick which are unable to defend themselves.
This guide is purely about real manliness. Ever pressed tab seeing Taric building a triforce? Weird, yet brave. What kind of person sits behind this idea? Find out and become the man Nick was meant to be!

Taric's spells make him look like a Support. Nonsense. An experienced Leaugue player like myself recognizes that that's the kit of a legendary bruiser.
Bravado offers bonus damage and attackspeed for the next two autoattacks as well as providing a cd refund on spells after casting one (best spell).
Starlight's Touch heals Taric and surrounding champs. Always spam it when fighting to max out your damage and staying healthy.
Bastion gives Taric and an ally passive armor and an active shield.
Dazzle stuns enemies in front of Taric and his compagnion buffed with Bastion.
Cosmic Radiance makes Taric's and his compagnion's surrounding champs immortal for 2.5 sec (... fck that's op).

Abilities Items Taric - the man DPS, Tank, Support, Real man, Bruiser damage output: high survivability: very high chances of woman and man falling for him: bigger than his biceps This body is made for building AD and tankiness. His kit brings everything to the table a Nick lacks: powerful aas, muscles, shields, heals, stuns, invincibility. Manly fact #1: Bruiser Taric drinks tea every morning. So you are probably thinking why should you play Bruiser Taric. His passive gives him insane damage and aa resets. Combine that with spamming Starlight's Touch to make sure you win almost every 1vs1. Manly fact #2: Bruiser Taric can push up to 237kg of steel when visiting the gym but rarely pushes more than 180kg to spare his muscles from too much stress. Also spamming Q will allow you to perma proc your Triforce. It will not only allow you to stack your Manamune incredebly fast but also tons of damage once it's finished. Manly fact #3: Bruiser Taric always sleeps with a stuffed bear. It helps him reducing stress. Attackspeed is not mandatory since you will use your passive most of the time to attack fast so you better concentrate on building AD and tankiness. Make sure you have a good balance. Manly fact #4: Protein shakes are nice but won't cover a healthy meal.

Pros

+ high dps + tanky + strong 1v1 + strong teamfight + sexy af + stumpf + possible item variation

Bruiser Taric is a strong pick if your team needs some scaling for late game. He is stronger than the common Nick in a 1v1 while maintaining a good teamfight due to his ult "Protection from penetration". If used correctly it can apply to your whole team winning every teamfight. Also it looks cool. Another nice thing about this champ is that you don't need a master degree in engineering and brazilian literature to understand his moves. They all seem basic but have great impact and power. Also he looks like a greek Adonis. Unlike the Nick, Bruiser Taric is not limited to the same 4 Items and has the ability to adapt to the enemy team.

Cons

- easily kited - duty to protect the weak - slow early game - ult takes 3 years - mana problems - no poke

Carrying all them muscles make Taric a slow fighter who gets kited easily. That makes him kind of vulnerable for all thos who don't have the balls to fight you fair. Seriously how can "kiting" be considered as a mechanic in the game when all you do is pity those champs who didn't get a dash? Taric is so manly and honorable he doesn't even have a poke ability for he fights like a man should. Manly fact #5: Ranged toplaners are gay. Especially Vayne. Fck you Vayne. His ultimate Cosmic Radiance may be cool and stuff but takes longer to come down than it takes Elder scrolls 6 to come out.

AD

VS

SUPPORT

Bruiser Taric has a good base tankiness thanks to his W and Heals. His Ultimate allows him to go full manmode for 2.5 seconds. That's plenty of time you will survive just with your kit. And your teammates will get these buffs for free. Isn't that enough support already? Does your team need another dirty Soraka main doing nothing but playing shield bot? Manly fact #6: A real man punches the **** outta his enemies while providing healthcare for his divorced wife and child even tho he hates her. If your team wants support they just have to stand close to you. Your goal is to farm all the damage and keeping your passive non stop running like Yasuo mains run it down mid.

Manly fact #7: A real man doesn't just stand there handing out first aid kits while other do the fighting. While your heals and shields may be stronger you will look like a simp trying his best to get your teams attention. Manly fact #8: Bruiser Taric never listens to agressive music. If your team dies (as always) all your cute little support items will be a waste. The Bruiser Taric doesn't tumble, he doesn't falter when his team dies. For he is not a puny, pathetic support, unable to carry solo.

Armor

Magic resistance

Damage

In this state the Bruiser Taric might already have a formidable body but he lacks the intelligence and spiritual affinity to win his lane. His manapool is too low to go all in like a madman. Manly fact #9: Bruiser Taric knows when to pick a fight and when he has the disadvantage yet he will not leave a teammate behind and fight with everything he got to protect the weak creatures of the rift. Try to get your manamune asap so you can trade with your Q. Since there is no gym in summoners rift you rely on gold to become stronger.

You all know that moment when the acid kicks in and you feel like you could rip your own bones out to bash your foes head in? That's the feeling when Bruiser Taric hits the 2 item powerspike. From afar it will look like someone gave Urgot 3 IEs and for some reason he has 600 movement speed. Basically you are Urgot 2.0. Spam Starlight's Touch so your solo push power is strong and your teamfights even more insane. Manly fact #10: Poppy once destroyed a small village in russia and murdered everyone brutally to get a bus ticket to the next liquor store 3 km away. Then she walked.

The problem here is everyone except you is no real man. They will run in fear when being approached by a mighty Bruiser Taric like you carry a disease no one knows yet. Tanks or other Bruiser on the other hand don't stand a chance against you as long as you have mana. Manly fact #11: A man is only as strong as his manapool. Bruiser Taric is so powerful, in Germany he is called "Kampfmaschine". That's the state of a man so mighty that he can grow a beard in seconds if he wanted. Manly fact #12: Bruiser Taric doesn't wear a beard because he would lose time mainting it. Time he prefers to spend in the gym.

AD Bruiser Taric is what Nick always was meant to be. He is an enormous threat once leaving early game. Later on he suffers the same fate like any other bruiser. He is slow. I mean that amount of muscles won't move themself. Once reaching the enemy however, he throws more sh*t at the enemy than america on any country with oil.
To truly embrace this build you will need a beer, 3kg of steak, comfy carpet slippers and some Fruchtzwerge. Normally i would add 7 strippers at least but Bruiser Taric doesn't need to buy Strippers. Strippers pay to dance for him.
So have fun playing this build and climbing the elo faster than the police is rushing to my house since my Ex escaped from the basement.
Manly fact #13: Dieing is gay.
peace