Sup gamers,

SO IN MY LAST POST (which I'm guessing not many of you read?) I said I was working on some random, well, you know, writing. -hides- AND NOW... Haters gonna hate... I present to youuuu... My own humble work. Yay! Clapclapclap! ... ok or not.


I, Fiora, the best bladesman in all of Noxia, Ionia, Demacia, and wherever yordles and moon people come from, have read my so-called "lore," and must express my disgust. With hair like mine and skill at the rapier which none can surpass such as my own, I, Fiora, the grand bladeswoman, deserve at least five pages to record my life story instead of the puny two or three paragraphs they have given me. Thus, to defend my honor and expound on the wonderful life of, well, me, I, Fiora, the grand duelist, have decided to record my own life story. Be grateful, you of less skill at the blade, which is to say, everyone.

As a baby, I, Fiora, the brilliant bladesmistress, was already a potential champion. My parents dearest adored me, as they had every right to, and after observing my skill with a butter knife one morning as I ate my peas, they immediately apprenticed me to one of the greatest duelists in the world. Needless to say, I, Fiora, the master of flashing steel, excelled in my training and quickly surpassed my pathetic classmates, who could hardly claim even a minimal amount of skill in the great art of swordsmanship.

Being the humble genius that I am, I, Fiora, the manipulator of swords, tried to help my... less gifted, fellow students. For some utterly absurd reason, however, they declined my absolutely generous offer and proceeded to avoid me from thereonafter. They later told me it was because I, Fiora, the most humble being on the planet, was "condescending and rude." I hardly think being called a "unskilled, addlepaited dimwit who will never amount to anything" is a valid reason to reject an offer made with the kindest intentions, but no matter. Their loss.

When I, Fiora, the master of the blades, reached the age of 15, my master finally released me from my apprenticeship and gave me my very first blade. It was a flimsy thing, hardly a proper goodbye gift to a diligent student such as myself, but I accepted it in order to not hurt his feelings. To this day, I, Fiora, the most gracious woman ever, still use that puny rapier. The reason is simple. The things that I, Fiora, the most talented swordsman in history, could do with a well-balanced, well-made weapon... Why, the prospect frightens even me!

After being released from my apprenticeship, I decided to travel abroad. However, before the decision could be put into action, I required proper attire. I wasn't about to walk around the world in some secondhand training garments. No, what I needed was something that would make a statement. As anyone could see by looking at my clothing, I, Fiora, the genius, succeeded in making a statement, though what that exact statement is shall remain unspoken.

Formally attired and trained as I was, I, Fiora, the brave, had no troubles traversing the world on foot, facing whoever got in my path and challenging those who slinked away. Some idiot yordle named Tammo or whatever thought he could get away with throwing a mushroom at me. I, Fiora, the defender of justice, set his head right and left him with a few scars that will require a covering to hide them for some time.

After a few years, my life of wandering became rather tiresome, and I, Fiora, the master bladesman, decided to settle down. No, I was not about to marry some fool man who thought he was my equivalent and wanted to be treated that way (the audacity!), so I looked for something interesting to do for at least a few years before returning to my roaming.

You might think I, Fiora, the grand duelist, would simply tell you I found the League of Legends and leave it at that, but my life is one so magnificent that it deserves to be described in detail, especially this particularly noteworthy moment.

As I, Fiora, the greatest of the great, walked through a city one day, I stumbled upon a rather interesting scene. Literally. I picked myself off the ground with the proper amount of indignation I could muster at having been tripped in so low a manner while I was simply minding my own business, and nearly fell over again as the two people who had tripped me the first time rolled around on the ground towards me. A lone lady with blonde hair and wearing the most ridiculous armor I've ever seen stood in one place with her hands over her fool mouth and squealing like her best knife had just snapped in two. Please.

Before I, Fiora, the bladesmistress, could safely make my way past the disturbingly immature tussle I had witnessed, the blonde squealing lady spotted me and quickly ran over to grip my arm.

"Oh! Please! *squeal* make them stop fighting!" I, Fiora, the most honest among the honest, must admit, I grumbled a bit on the inside and apparently on the outside also, but, being the kind, gracious person that I am, I agreed to help and finally split the two up.

When the two idiot men stood up and dusted themselves off, I got a good look at them. One, who looked pretty bad after the fight, immediately drew some cards out and winked at yours truly. The audacity. He wore a wide brimmed hat that had somehow not fallen off in the tussle, and had a ridiculous cape and dark suit. The other was literally covered in armor. I couldn't even see his mouth, he had on so much armor. No one could duel in that apparel; how foolish.

After that ridiculous blondie stopped squealing, she finally told me the story. Apparently she and her brother, the one buried in armor, had been on their way to the League of Legends when her brother, Garen, had randomly shouted, "DEMACIAAAAAA!" and tackled the silly caped fellow. The armored man, Garen, calimed that the card man, Twisted Fate, had "looked at Lux (the blondie) the wrong way."

Of course, I, Fiora, the majestic, cleared things up, though I had to practically shove my sword down some of their throats before they cooperated. Whatever, the end justifies the means, yes? Either way, I quickly became bored with these ridiculous simpletons and was about to leave when the ****ty Lux asked if I wanted to accompany them to the League of Legends, the place where the best, most lethal champions gather to battle. Best? Lethal? Battle? I think yes. OF course, I, Fiora, the best, most lethal champion, had no desire to accompany these idiots anywhere, but sacrifices must be made, and one was made that day.

So here I am, at the League of Legends, awaiting a summoner's bidding to smash a silly yordle's brain out with the hilt of my rapier and recording my ACCURATE life story to be shared with my adoring public, or, in other words, everyone.
Enjoy.
Fiora

Sorry, that was really long TT I didn't know it would be that long heh... ANYWAYS. If you could wipe any yordle's existence out from the League of Legends, who would it be? May the lag be with you!