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One thing i miss in the build and that is which champion counters
depending on lane though.
OVERALL THE BEST QUICK GUIDE IVE SEEN
then we get to your introduction and boy did I not want to read the rest of it. if you want to make a humorous guide by all means do so but do not try to make a humorous AND informational guide all at the same time... something you undoubtedly did.
you mention in your guide that you can replace voidstaff with cdr. not quite. it is going to depend on the teamcomp HEAVILY how you should build a niche ap champion like ezreal. you can't just say replace this item with this one if you want it.
from the laning phase down its pretty much just walls of text. you should think of a way to improve the flow of your ideas and probably elaborate more on the phases of the game as ez plays quite differently as the game progresses.
The build is pretty good, keep up the good work.