"I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m ****ing ******ed but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache†and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding." - Guuse
"uh, I identify as counterstrike and I find this globally offensive" - ???
"uh, I identify as counterstrike and I find this globally offensive" - ???
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As we all know, the 4th of July commemorates when George Washington invented the Ford Mustang and used it to drive the Galactic Empire, led under Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader, out of North America, thus inventing freedom. Some scholars argue that the Mustang actually came later, and it was actually the Dodge Challenger that George Washington invented, but personally I believe it was a sort of combination. Benjamin Franklin was probably responsible for the Challenger, although it's difficult to find evidence of either assertion. As we all know, Benjamin Franklin was responsible for many other inventions, including rock and roll, cheeseburgers, and Converse shoes, so it's not unreasonable to assume that he invented the Challenger.