Book written by me.

[quote=Dremu]No idea what you're saying rud, no character has similar names, basically each starts with different letters and sounding, also this is a draft, none of it has been edited, I will fix context later personally i'm more worried about detail atm. And speaking etc they have quotes and everything, what are you speaking of when you talk about how they are talking?[/quote]

[quote=Atarios]Awesome![/quote]

[quote=Rudmed]Slight Spoiler "Here mother let me go get you some more towels" Sanar stated. "No my dear, I am alright." "Are you sure mother? It's really not a bother." "Yes my dear thank you, but it is really alright." The day had come, that Pirta Hearthe would enter the world. And that is when her screaming began. Okay, you see this paragraph right here. You start off with Sanar, but then you have another quote which it from her mother (I have figured out that much). Now the problem is there is no space between the two speakers. (I'm also gonna make other corrections). "Here mother let me go get you some more towels.(Yes puncuate every line)" Sanar stated. "No my dear, I am alright." her mother replied (maybe doing some kind of action) "Are you sure mother? It's really not a bother." (Not sure if you need to have Sanar here, but maybe throw it in to be safe). "Yes my dear thank you, but it is really alright." The day had come, that Pirta Hearthe would enter the world. And that is when her screaming began. (Rewrite this last sentence, or just don't start it with And). As for the similair names thing: Yeata and Ataey. Ataey is just Yeata backwards. Its like Alucard and Dracula. Now since this is his dark side, and suppose to contrast him then you might be okay (That makes Ataey a foil).[/quote]

[quote=Dremu][quote=Rudmed] Slight Spoiler "Here mother let me go get you some more towels" Sanar stated. "No my dear, I am alright." "Are you sure mother? It's really not a bother." "Yes my dear thank you, but it is really alright." The day had come, that Pirta Hearthe would enter the world. And that is when her screaming began. Okay, you see this paragraph right here. You start off with Sanar, but then you have another quote which it from her mother (I have figured out that much). Now the problem is there is no space between the two speakers. (I'm also gonna make other corrections). "Here mother let me go get you some more towels.(Yes puncuate every line)" Sanar stated. "No my dear, I am alright." her mother replied (maybe doing some kind of action) "Are you sure mother? It's really not a bother." (Not sure if you need to have Sanar here, but maybe throw it in to be safe). "Yes my dear thank you, but it is really alright." The day had come, that Pirta Hearthe would enter the world. And that is when her screaming began. (Rewrite this last sentence, or just don't start it with And). As for the similair names thing: Yeata and Ataey. Ataey is just Yeata backwards. Its like Alucard and Dracula. Now since this is his dark side, and suppose to contrast him then you might be okay (That makes Ataey a foil). [/quote] The Yeata, Ataey thing is on purpose, Ataey is his demonic side, it's him but reversed, he is light but his dark side is named Ataey. BACKWARDS it's like tha ton purpose. and as for the other things I'm going to fix that stuff when i go back to edit, It's still a rough draft keep in mind, thanks for pointing these out though :][/quote]

[quote=Dremu]I've written a lot more, about 4-5 chapters now. I won't release the view of those however, Don't want the whole book ruined. But you prob can read it all from the first link i posted.[/quote]

[quote=Dremu]My book is now private, I do not want everyone seeing it. If you want to continue reading it as I write it, please ask for an invite, and I will get you into the viewing of my book (Only a select few will be aloud.) I'm having a max of 10 people able to read my book on prerelease, I need to do this so I can get opinions etc. Please remember this is kind of like a beta to a game, give me fixes etc, if you're truly interested let me know!![/quote]

[quote=Alahric]Oh that's no good, your summary left me the image of a distorted generic fantasy world with a plot that is so vague I can't even bring myself to read the first page. It might be fantastic but it is extremely distorted seeing as how you add stuff we already have an image of; elven, high elf, dark elf, devrin discovering his powers at the age of 18 so forth and so on. It is one thing to reference and get a hold of your audience, but the whole franchise just seems soo.. unoriginal [i](being ignorant of actual contense here)[/i]. I recommend the anime: Fairy Tale, for some inspiration on how you can work with this.[/quote]

[quote=Dremu][quote=Alahric] Oh that's no good, your summary left me the image of a distorted generic fantasy world with a plot that is so vague I can't even bring myself to read the first page. It might be fantastic but it is extremely distorted seeing as how you add stuff we already have an image of; elven, high elf, dark elf, devrin discovering his powers at the age of 18 so forth and so on. It is one thing to reference and get a hold of your audience, but the whole franchise just seems soo.. unoriginal [i](being ignorant of actual contense here)[/i]. I recommend the anime: Fairy Tale, for some inspiration on how you can work with this. [/quote] What are you saying? The summary just summarizes the beginning of the book basically, nothing in there reveals anything, I want it to be unoriginal and unique, so I'm happy it's not like every other story then? And if you read the first page (I understand you can't without me allowing you too) then you'd realize what this book REALLY is about, it's nothing to dow ith anime so i'm not doing that or fairytale for that matter...It's a fantasy story. It's personally inspired by the Legend of Drizzt by R.A Salvatore, If you've never read those books then I see why you are saying this stuff.[/quote]

[quote=Xiaowiriamu]Good read. ^_^[/quote]

[quote=Dremu][quote=Xiaowiriamu] Good read. ^_^ [/quote] Would you like to be invited to the full book read? You can read as I write it, as in you read to what's already written, and i'll add more most likely next day etc. it's acool system.[/quote]