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jhoijhoi wrote:
Nameless: I am shallow, unfortunately. But not extremely. I don't know how to explain it. Everyone has standards. And I'm sure you're the same :)
Hah, cool to see someone be honest about it.
I've got no idea of what I am >:3
Probably just in the middle.
"Moral justification is a powerful disengagement mechanism. Destructive conduct is made personally and socially acceptable by portraying it in the service of moral ends." - Albert Bandura
"Ultimately, if people lose their willingness to recognize that there are times in our history when legality becomes distinct from morality, we aren't just ceding control of our rights to government, but our futures." - Edward Snowden
"Ultimately, if people lose their willingness to recognize that there are times in our history when legality becomes distinct from morality, we aren't just ceding control of our rights to government, but our futures." - Edward Snowden
Luther3000 wrote:
I have social anxiety unfortunately. :P
Also didn't help that the girl I was in love with at school was a ***** to me and scarred me forever. :c
I'm picturing some little kid crying in a corner because a girl was mean to him XD
Sorry :x
"That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence." - Christopher Hitchens
Duff's guide to Offtanking girl's;
Build Trinity Force and Randuin's.
Never fails.
Build Trinity Force and Randuin's.
Never fails.
http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/duffs-336706
Come hang out when I'm streaming! http://www.twitch.tv/dufftime
Searz wrote:
I'm picturing some little kid crying in a corner because a girl was mean to him XD
Sorry :x
Pretty much, if by crying you mean severely depressed for the better part of two years. I'm 18 now though and more or less over it. :P
Nameless and Jhoi I really don't see why you ladies are getting so worked up. You both are dating, and you both apparently know what you want from a guy. I'm just sharing some of my knowledge with the single guys of mobafire.
Sometimes guys just like to relax, have a woman, and have fun. Im young (18 years old), therefore you must understand my point of view. I just want experience and fun. People usually adapt and learn from mistakes.. If a person is living a perfect life and everything is going his/her way how will he appreciate the gifts he receives? When guys dates these "shallow" women who look good he will go through a breakup and he will feel a bit of pain and realise what is wrong with a woman like that. Slowly his mind will develop and he will understand women better, he will be open, relaxed and learn from his mistakes.
The worst possible thing is when a guy makes a mistake with the person he loves, that **** is just so painful and you WILL be in a position where you will regret everything and feel like absolute ****. The way I look at it is... Date Hot women (who, actually Jhoi and Nameless do have a heart and deep inside they are actually lonely confused people), enjoy the romance, and learn from the mistakes you make. That hot girl who is dating you will also realise what she lost and she will change, sooner or later.
Both of you have been telling me to grow up, and start looking for love. Yeahhh okay, you ladies can go do that.. But me, I want the woman who will make a difference and who I will actually want to be with, now I dont think Ill find that woman if I just stick to one girl. Ill just be fooling myself, and this might result in me cheating on that girl later. So yeah..... This is just some random advice I'm giving guys.. they dont even have to read half the **** I say, they can disagree with it and be that guy who get's infatuated with every woman he sees, or maybe they will discover their own theories and methods which work for them. Im just saying, this is how I do it.
Sometimes guys just like to relax, have a woman, and have fun. Im young (18 years old), therefore you must understand my point of view. I just want experience and fun. People usually adapt and learn from mistakes.. If a person is living a perfect life and everything is going his/her way how will he appreciate the gifts he receives? When guys dates these "shallow" women who look good he will go through a breakup and he will feel a bit of pain and realise what is wrong with a woman like that. Slowly his mind will develop and he will understand women better, he will be open, relaxed and learn from his mistakes.
The worst possible thing is when a guy makes a mistake with the person he loves, that **** is just so painful and you WILL be in a position where you will regret everything and feel like absolute ****. The way I look at it is... Date Hot women (who, actually Jhoi and Nameless do have a heart and deep inside they are actually lonely confused people), enjoy the romance, and learn from the mistakes you make. That hot girl who is dating you will also realise what she lost and she will change, sooner or later.
Both of you have been telling me to grow up, and start looking for love. Yeahhh okay, you ladies can go do that.. But me, I want the woman who will make a difference and who I will actually want to be with, now I dont think Ill find that woman if I just stick to one girl. Ill just be fooling myself, and this might result in me cheating on that girl later. So yeah..... This is just some random advice I'm giving guys.. they dont even have to read half the **** I say, they can disagree with it and be that guy who get's infatuated with every woman he sees, or maybe they will discover their own theories and methods which work for them. Im just saying, this is how I do it.
*Cracks knuckles*
Alright, here's the sad truth of it all.
We live in a place (This only goes for denizen's of the USA) where if you're not out in the world participating in group activities (Classes, courses, gym memberships, sports, etc), then it is not the easiest thing to meet new people.
If you're not out meeting new people, you're not picking up numbers, and you're not going on dates.
FIRST, before you begin to question your moral fiber and your "technique" and all that, stop right there.
Get out more.
Second, as you meet new people and talk more, you will begin to realize... You DON'T NEED A TECHNIQUE.
That is the #1 way to ruin your chances with a girl.
The truth is, you don't WANT to have a "Technique" because WAKE UP GUYS, GIRLS HAVE BRAINS, AND THEY WILL PICK UP ON THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TRYING.
Thus bringing me to my next point.
When girls say "Be yourselves" they really mean it. But what they're telling you is to STOP trying to impress them by DOING WEIRD ****. And to STOP trying to MAKE THEM LIKE YOU BY ACTING DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU NORMALLY WOULD.
100%, talk to her like she was one of your guy friends. Girls are not aliens. They are flesh and bone just like you and me.
When you flirt with them, make it a joke, say random **** like, "You look beautiful today. No ****."
Making a girl laugh NEVER FAILS. Unless they hate their lives. Do you really wanna date someone who hates their lives? Do you? I don't. Do you? Not unless you're a masochist.
ALSO; VERY IMPORTANT!
Some people may SEEM like a good candidate for a girlfriend when you meet them.
YOU'VE ALREADY MESSED UP.
NEVER assume "Hey, she's good looking and has similar interests... We could potentially make a good match!"
Because that is almost a guaranteed fail.
Relationships are all about personality and chemistry. Physical features are a small part of what makes up chemistry. (For me it's sort of a large part. I won't lie to myself and date a girl who's anything less than I'd be happy with, both mentally or physically. I have high standards for myself, and thusly for potential relationships and the party members involved as well.)
Never let a person think you feel they are perfect until you're already dating them. (If you think they are perfect, just give it some time, you're 100% wrong and that's a guarantee. Nobody is perfect, and the one's you THINK are perfect are usually the ones who will PROVE that they are NOT to you.) If they discover too early that you think they are flawless, it becomes a very strange dynamic where they know you like them more than they like you, and it essentially kills your chances immediately.
In order to create a successful relationship, you will need to -naturally- maintain a balance of "Friend" and "Interest" ... Meaning don't force it! When you think she looks beautiful, let her know, but quickly (And naturally, smoothly,) change the subject so that you're not just sitting there blabbing on and on. It will make her uncomfortable and the conversation will die.
Instead try this, (Sorry Jhoi Jhoi, your name came to mind, LOL.) "Your comments look lovely today Jhoi Jhoi, that summoner tag really suits you. Mmhmm, ughhhh guess what, the craziest thing happened at work today!"
Or.
"Jhoi Jhoi, I love that font you've been using! It's cute! Did you see what Searz said the other day about *Bla bla bla*"
In this way, she knows what you think, take it or leave it. You're not obsessing over her and she knows it, because you're not stuck on her radiating beauty, which would be awkward. Instead, you're simply, and confidently (Perhaps even flirtatiously, depending on your relationship) letting her know what you think, and then moving on with normal conversation.
This will let her know you actually care about the person she is, and want to get to know HER. Not just take her as an object and mount her on the wall for her looks.
This is part of why women complain so much about being objectified. When a person comes up to you flirting with you immediately, it can be very unsettling and it makes you seriously question their motives.
TL;DR:
Get out more. Meet more people. This increases your chances of finding people interested in you, and people you'd be interested in.
Act the same way you always do. Do not try to be James Bond.
(This is different for me because I AM James Bond. I am just being myself)
Realize she is a person like you, don't idolize anybody, much less her. Talk to her like you would talk to your brother, friend, cousin, art teacher... Like any other human being.
Allow her to know you may be interesting, but never allow it to be the focal point. You are two human being, one is no better than the other, and there may or may not be interest/potential between you two. You'll have to be okay with that, because either way, chances are SHE will be okay with that.
And mostly, just be yourself and be a decent person. Being the best you that you can be is still being yourself.
Having your **** together, no baggage from your last failed relationship, having a job/car etc... Those are things you can improve on your own, that WILL improve the way all PEOPLE view you, not just women. It's not shallow to have expectations, and trust me when I say that a girl would prefer you to have a car and a job or be going to school etc.
Cheers, Duff's guide to successful dating :P
Alright, here's the sad truth of it all.
We live in a place (This only goes for denizen's of the USA) where if you're not out in the world participating in group activities (Classes, courses, gym memberships, sports, etc), then it is not the easiest thing to meet new people.
If you're not out meeting new people, you're not picking up numbers, and you're not going on dates.
FIRST, before you begin to question your moral fiber and your "technique" and all that, stop right there.
Get out more.
Second, as you meet new people and talk more, you will begin to realize... You DON'T NEED A TECHNIQUE.
That is the #1 way to ruin your chances with a girl.
The truth is, you don't WANT to have a "Technique" because WAKE UP GUYS, GIRLS HAVE BRAINS, AND THEY WILL PICK UP ON THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TRYING.
Thus bringing me to my next point.
When girls say "Be yourselves" they really mean it. But what they're telling you is to STOP trying to impress them by DOING WEIRD ****. And to STOP trying to MAKE THEM LIKE YOU BY ACTING DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU NORMALLY WOULD.
100%, talk to her like she was one of your guy friends. Girls are not aliens. They are flesh and bone just like you and me.
When you flirt with them, make it a joke, say random **** like, "You look beautiful today. No ****."
Making a girl laugh NEVER FAILS. Unless they hate their lives. Do you really wanna date someone who hates their lives? Do you? I don't. Do you? Not unless you're a masochist.
ALSO; VERY IMPORTANT!
Some people may SEEM like a good candidate for a girlfriend when you meet them.
YOU'VE ALREADY MESSED UP.
NEVER assume "Hey, she's good looking and has similar interests... We could potentially make a good match!"
Because that is almost a guaranteed fail.
Relationships are all about personality and chemistry. Physical features are a small part of what makes up chemistry. (For me it's sort of a large part. I won't lie to myself and date a girl who's anything less than I'd be happy with, both mentally or physically. I have high standards for myself, and thusly for potential relationships and the party members involved as well.)
Never let a person think you feel they are perfect until you're already dating them. (If you think they are perfect, just give it some time, you're 100% wrong and that's a guarantee. Nobody is perfect, and the one's you THINK are perfect are usually the ones who will PROVE that they are NOT to you.) If they discover too early that you think they are flawless, it becomes a very strange dynamic where they know you like them more than they like you, and it essentially kills your chances immediately.
In order to create a successful relationship, you will need to -naturally- maintain a balance of "Friend" and "Interest" ... Meaning don't force it! When you think she looks beautiful, let her know, but quickly (And naturally, smoothly,) change the subject so that you're not just sitting there blabbing on and on. It will make her uncomfortable and the conversation will die.
Instead try this, (Sorry Jhoi Jhoi, your name came to mind, LOL.) "Your comments look lovely today Jhoi Jhoi, that summoner tag really suits you. Mmhmm, ughhhh guess what, the craziest thing happened at work today!"
Or.
"Jhoi Jhoi, I love that font you've been using! It's cute! Did you see what Searz said the other day about *Bla bla bla*"
In this way, she knows what you think, take it or leave it. You're not obsessing over her and she knows it, because you're not stuck on her radiating beauty, which would be awkward. Instead, you're simply, and confidently (Perhaps even flirtatiously, depending on your relationship) letting her know what you think, and then moving on with normal conversation.
This will let her know you actually care about the person she is, and want to get to know HER. Not just take her as an object and mount her on the wall for her looks.
This is part of why women complain so much about being objectified. When a person comes up to you flirting with you immediately, it can be very unsettling and it makes you seriously question their motives.
TL;DR:
Get out more. Meet more people. This increases your chances of finding people interested in you, and people you'd be interested in.
Act the same way you always do. Do not try to be James Bond.
(This is different for me because I AM James Bond. I am just being myself)
Realize she is a person like you, don't idolize anybody, much less her. Talk to her like you would talk to your brother, friend, cousin, art teacher... Like any other human being.
Allow her to know you may be interesting, but never allow it to be the focal point. You are two human being, one is no better than the other, and there may or may not be interest/potential between you two. You'll have to be okay with that, because either way, chances are SHE will be okay with that.
And mostly, just be yourself and be a decent person. Being the best you that you can be is still being yourself.
Having your **** together, no baggage from your last failed relationship, having a job/car etc... Those are things you can improve on your own, that WILL improve the way all PEOPLE view you, not just women. It's not shallow to have expectations, and trust me when I say that a girl would prefer you to have a car and a job or be going to school etc.
Cheers, Duff's guide to successful dating :P
http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/duffs-336706
Come hang out when I'm streaming! http://www.twitch.tv/dufftime
DuffTime wrote:
We live in a place (This only goes for denizen's of the USA) where if you're not out in the world participating in group activities (Classes, courses, gym memberships, sports, etc), then it is not the easiest thing to meet new people.
It's basically the same in the UK, I haven't been out of the house in two years and I don't have any friends. =P
Also didn't help that the girl I was in love with at school was a ***** to me and scarred me forever. :c