Check out jhoijhoi's how to make a guide. You could also look at one of my guides. I agree with Maioku, swap out Quick Silver Sash for a defensive item. Banshee's Veil or somthing like that would work perfectly. The Black Cleaver though is a fairly good item, IF the enemy team is building quite a lot of armor. Otherwise, you could switch it out for a different damage item, or a defensive item.

Still, great job. Remember, check out jhoijhoi's guide on how to make guides. It REALLY helped me. +1 from me.

Link to jhoijhoi's guide: http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/making-a-guide-101506

Yes, it's a lot of reading but it will put you at the top of the guide charts.

Great guide, tons of damage! But it lacks tankyness as she is often focused in teamfights and the vamp is not enouph.

Black Cleaver is a bad item on Shyv, much better replaced by Youmuu's Ghostblade.
You don't want a flat armor shred ( Black Cleaver) to stack with a % based armor shred ( fire breath)

Also, format your guide with BBCode. I don't mean to put you down but that is really difficult and boring to read due to it simply being a wall of text.

Why ghost? Also QSS is a situational item. Not a core. you should probably get some form of health item. or at least a defense item