Views: 501 Tales of an Absolute Failure: Working Hard to Fail
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Just got done playing a normal 5s with a friend-of-a-friend whom I have had problems playing with before. Last time she, myself and her friends went up against an organized dedicated 5s team in normals. They whooped our *** all around but didn't rush to take turrets. She and one other decided to block surrender votes, forcing us into playing an hour long game that she herself admitted she knew we would lose. Having wasted about an hour of my life, I was frustrated as piss but tried to be reasonable about it.
Today, she drops me an invite and we go in. Normals, so it's just call order. We call Mid within half a second of each other and despite me clearly having gotten it in first (Confirmed by the rest of the team) she didn't change from her Kat pick or the mentality that she was going mid. So I picked myself Teemo and went solo top where Garen and a jungle Yi fed me and made me feel better about the fact that the one time I attempted to play my favorite lane with her (I usually allow her to have it) she acted ridiculously childish about it.
I started getting fairly fed and by about 20 minutes we were pushing down their mid inhibitor in a push that had involved taking two towers before. We wiped their team twice and as soon as the inhibs went down, no enemies in sight, I figured if they wanted to base race, we would win. High AS/AP Teemo with Nashor's, a decently fed Caitlyn, a Shaco... what could go wrong? Pinged the turrets as I saw the enemy yi push down our bot outer. I managed to shave off about a fourth of a nexus tower's health before I realized my friend, Caitlyn and Shaco have all backed.
In my opinion, that was a push that would have won us the game, so I asked, fairly politely actually if we could stay grouped instead of, frankly, throwing next push.
Apparently not. Next push we knocked down the nexus turrets but Yi went top. Instead of saying "Hey, we've got a massive advantage, let's win..." again Kat, Caitlyn and Shaco backed off, died to Yi but got him away. JAnna and I were killed taking a little over a fourth of the Nexus' health.
I got pretty pissed then. It's that whole 'Repeating a stupid decision even when someone points it out to you' thing that upsets me. To me what I saw was them put more work into NOT winning the game than it would have actually taken to win. Yi managed to take two towers and an inhib while they were backing. That same amount of time would've been enough for us to take a nexus as most of the enemy team was dead or in the jungle... doing Demacia knows what. I kept from getting vulgar but I again floundered on 'patience,' I got pissed and asked them to 'stick together and stop throwing.' I got a bit of lip about it from Shaco, but that's life.
The third push involves Shaco and Caitlyn being kited by the enemy Vayne because they don't apparently attack nexuses. Janna and I were killed again trying to take the nexus. Yi took another inhib and damaged a nexus tower back in our base.
Sure enough, a fourth and final push comes. By this time our base is so beaten up I know if we base race Yi, we NEED to take the nexus this time. So all in again. We were AT their nexus, all in range of damage and then one nexus tower falls and again, that friend, the Caitlyn and the Shaco back off.
They also all die to Yi and he beats Janna and I in a nexus race.
My team went so far out of its way to lose it boggles my mind and my friend who wanted to queue with me joined them in it. I didn't say anything to her, but I'm pretty much convinced I'm not queueing with her again. Period.
I guess this blog post is mostly to say that I am definitely backsliding right now. I mean I've scarily managed to pull my vulgarity under control. I am no longer describing people who do what my team did as '****-eared' because all of the information goes in and out in and out in and out of their ears... I still tend to say '****' or '****ing' but never directed at a person. Even so, I didn't make a promise to myself about cleaning up my language, it was cleaning up my play and keeping myself from being so damn angry.
I think there needs to be a 'Toxic Players Looking To Change' support group or some ****. Who else has had issues keeping their control lately?
Today, she drops me an invite and we go in. Normals, so it's just call order. We call Mid within half a second of each other and despite me clearly having gotten it in first (Confirmed by the rest of the team) she didn't change from her Kat pick or the mentality that she was going mid. So I picked myself Teemo and went solo top where Garen and a jungle Yi fed me and made me feel better about the fact that the one time I attempted to play my favorite lane with her (I usually allow her to have it) she acted ridiculously childish about it.
I started getting fairly fed and by about 20 minutes we were pushing down their mid inhibitor in a push that had involved taking two towers before. We wiped their team twice and as soon as the inhibs went down, no enemies in sight, I figured if they wanted to base race, we would win. High AS/AP Teemo with Nashor's, a decently fed Caitlyn, a Shaco... what could go wrong? Pinged the turrets as I saw the enemy yi push down our bot outer. I managed to shave off about a fourth of a nexus tower's health before I realized my friend, Caitlyn and Shaco have all backed.
In my opinion, that was a push that would have won us the game, so I asked, fairly politely actually if we could stay grouped instead of, frankly, throwing next push.
Apparently not. Next push we knocked down the nexus turrets but Yi went top. Instead of saying "Hey, we've got a massive advantage, let's win..." again Kat, Caitlyn and Shaco backed off, died to Yi but got him away. JAnna and I were killed taking a little over a fourth of the Nexus' health.
I got pretty pissed then. It's that whole 'Repeating a stupid decision even when someone points it out to you' thing that upsets me. To me what I saw was them put more work into NOT winning the game than it would have actually taken to win. Yi managed to take two towers and an inhib while they were backing. That same amount of time would've been enough for us to take a nexus as most of the enemy team was dead or in the jungle... doing Demacia knows what. I kept from getting vulgar but I again floundered on 'patience,' I got pissed and asked them to 'stick together and stop throwing.' I got a bit of lip about it from Shaco, but that's life.
The third push involves Shaco and Caitlyn being kited by the enemy Vayne because they don't apparently attack nexuses. Janna and I were killed again trying to take the nexus. Yi took another inhib and damaged a nexus tower back in our base.
Sure enough, a fourth and final push comes. By this time our base is so beaten up I know if we base race Yi, we NEED to take the nexus this time. So all in again. We were AT their nexus, all in range of damage and then one nexus tower falls and again, that friend, the Caitlyn and the Shaco back off.
They also all die to Yi and he beats Janna and I in a nexus race.
My team went so far out of its way to lose it boggles my mind and my friend who wanted to queue with me joined them in it. I didn't say anything to her, but I'm pretty much convinced I'm not queueing with her again. Period.
I guess this blog post is mostly to say that I am definitely backsliding right now. I mean I've scarily managed to pull my vulgarity under control. I am no longer describing people who do what my team did as '****-eared' because all of the information goes in and out in and out in and out of their ears... I still tend to say '****' or '****ing' but never directed at a person. Even so, I didn't make a promise to myself about cleaning up my language, it was cleaning up my play and keeping myself from being so damn angry.
I think there needs to be a 'Toxic Players Looking To Change' support group or some ****. Who else has had issues keeping their control lately?
that just sends me into a rage because the fact of the matter is that that mentality is the same as saying "Even if I work my *** off and my teammates play like ****, it's all my fault.' Which I don't agree... because it's a team based game and you need teammates willing to actually try.
I understand why people say that, I just don't understand how folks can convince themselves of it or how it helps in the least... without a team that wants to win... you're going to lose, repeatedly and viciously and demoralization is sure to follow.
That wasn't really what I meant. Not every game is your fault, and arguably there are some games that you simply aren't going to win because of your team (though usually these are less common than people think). What I meant was, instead of focusing on the outcome of the game, focus on what you can do to better yourself as a player. So rather than saying to yourself "I can't believe my teammates were such idiots, we could have won that", think about how you could improve your play in that game.
The point isn't that a loss is your fault, it's that losses will happen no matter what. If you get matched with 4 people who aren't going to win, then getting mad about it won't improve your win rate. Play to win a higher percentage of your games, not every single one. Some people think that they have to be able to win "unwinnable" games but really the only thing you have to do is give yourself a high chance of winning with a decent team.
It helps your attitude a lot if you don't view a lost game as a waste of time. Losses are an effective and necessary learning experience. It can be frustrating to play out a game that you have little chance of winning, but if your team won't surrender then it's a lot better to just play to win and to improve.
In every loss, someone on the enemy team did something right. Even if you weren't the main problem, you made some mistakes too. There's always something to learn from a loss and you'd be surprised at the throws that can happen in a won game.
As for your teammates apparently throwing the game, that can be frustrating but recognize that they're just trying to do what they think gives your team the best chance of winning. You obviously weren't playing by their calls since you and janna pushed while they backed, so it's not unthinkable that other people don't play by your calls, even if you're right. Keep in mind that, though your teammates might have given up a chance to win, you could still have done something different. Maybe you needed to solo Yi while your team pushed, or maybe you could have played your early or mid game better so that you wouldn't be in such a situation.
Losses aren't a waste of time, and treating a loss as time lost just makes you more frustrated. You're going to lose roughly 50% of your games for one reason or another. All you can do is use your losses to better yourself as a player. If you detach yourself a little from your teammates' behaviour and the outcome of the game, you should find yourself better able to focus, improve faster, and maintain a better attitude.
I had to distance myself from that game to come and reply without anger. I fear my response will still be seen pretty poorly. My situation was that despite trying my best to steamroll top, keep Yi hungry and lead the team in pushes, someone had fed Yi and no one would push without me leading it. The simply fact is that if I'd gone to 1v1 that Yi MAYBE I would've killed him, MAYBE, but the push would stop there and my team would have backed.
I don't consider losses a waste of time when the reason for the loss isn't the willful deaths of my allies. I was forced to pick between us never pushing or hoping that my teammates would listen to advice after it turned out to be correct four times in a row. Whether I made the wrong call, remains to me, pretty unclear. Because we could've held of yi once, maybe twice and he would've eventually overpowered us. I try to take the mentality of 'my teammates were perfect, clearly I missed something' and that just sends me into a rage because the fact of the matter is that that mentality is the same as saying "Even if I work my *** off and my teammates play like ****, it's all my fault.' Which I don't agree... because it's a team based game and you need teammates willing to actually try.
I understand why people say that, I just don't understand how folks can convince themselves of it or how it helps in the least... without a team that wants to win... you're going to lose, repeatedly and viciously and demoralization is sure to follow.
Sometimes it sucks but you gotta lose some to win some so as you continue learning.
have fun on the fields and good job controlling that temper!
Nera
In every loss, someone on the enemy team did something right. Even if you weren't the main problem, you made some mistakes too. There's always something to learn from a loss and you'd be surprised at the throws that can happen in a won game.
As for your teammates apparently throwing the game, that can be frustrating but recognize that they're just trying to do what they think gives your team the best chance of winning. You obviously weren't playing by their calls since you and janna pushed while they backed, so it's not unthinkable that other people don't play by your calls, even if you're right. Keep in mind that, though your teammates might have given up a chance to win, you could still have done something different. Maybe you needed to solo Yi while your team pushed, or maybe you could have played your early or mid game better so that you wouldn't be in such a situation.
Losses aren't a waste of time, and treating a loss as time lost just makes you more frustrated. You're going to lose roughly 50% of your games for one reason or another. All you can do is use your losses to better yourself as a player. If you detach yourself a little from your teammates' behaviour and the outcome of the game, you should find yourself better able to focus, improve faster, and maintain a better attitude.