Post Whatever You Want (and Stop Posting ****...

"I saw [Twilight: Eclipse] in theaters with a girl I was dating at the time. I spent more time staring at my toes and wiggling them than I did watching this abomination. When Edward proposed to Blank Face, I finally looked up with a revelation.
I blurted out loud, in a dead silent theater full of teenage girls on opening night "Wait a minute, Edward has no blood flow. How does he get an erection?" I heard several men laughing, and had several girls turn and stare at me.

I did not get laid that night." - Berengier817

I stole this Sig idea from SoapSuds

"If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F Roberts

"Yeah, I want you to be proud. I want you to be proud of me!"

Signature by me =)

"I walked up to her big butt and asked her *** butt what." - Lil Wayne, lyrical genius

"I can't decide where I stand on abortion, on one hand it is killing children, on the other it gives women a choice." - ???