<3 u all no need to read this was having fun with the blogs

I've been patient with Mobafire. I've even avoided being drawn in by its provocative rhetoric. But I've finally had enough. For practical reasons, I have to confine my discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which I have something new to say.

What that means, simply put, is that Mobafire's gibes are more than just unctuous. They're a revolt against nature. By following Mobafire's suggestions, we have become such poor caretakers of the tree of liberty that it has wilted and is sagging dangerously close to the ground. But there is a further-reaching implication: In the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving Mobafire, but we should not concern ourselves with Mobafire's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that the ethically bankrupt paper-pushers that comprise Mobafire's coalition of disaffected provincials and subversive, mutinous drug lords are as thick as thieves. If one of them is willing to shame my name, then they all are. What's more, none of them is able to accept that Mobafire's conclusions are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, if Mobafire is going to talk about higher standards then it needs to live by those higher standards.

If Mobafire can't be reasoned out of its prejudices, it must be laughed out of them. If Mobafire can't be argued out of its selfishness, it must be shamed out of it. If Mobafire wants to complain, it should have an argument. It shouldn't just throw out the word “superphlogistication”, for example, and expect us to be scared.

I assert I am not alone when I say that it's quite easy for Mobafire to declaim my proposals. But when is it going to provide an alternative proposal of its own? Apparently, even know-it-all Mobafire doesn't know the answer to that one. It wouldn't matter much if it did, given that you might have heard the story that it once agreed to help us clear the cobwebs out of people's heads and help them understand that one need not look any further than its sappy manifestos to see that it relies on the skillful manipulation of human emotions, especially fear, to rob Peter to pay Paul. No one has located the document in which Mobafire said that. No one has identified when or where Mobafire said that. That's because it never said it. As you might have suspected, if this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to push the envelope on our knowledge of the world around us.

Mobafire is just trying to pick a fight. That's why it says that violence and prejudice are funny. Mobafire hates you—yes, you, because you, like me, want to direct your attention in some detail to the vast and irreparable calamity brought upon us by Mobafire. Mobafire's belief is that we should cease to talk about “vague and unreal” objectives such as human rights, the raising of living standards, and democratization. Instead, we should be devising increasingly myopic ways to resort to ad hominem attacks on me and my family. That's Mobafire's opinion. My opinion is that its arguments are becoming increasingly wayward. They have already begun to leave behind a wake of empty-headed reaction. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Mobafire to silence the truth. If you don't want such a time to come then help me hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties. Help me build an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change.

Better, far better, that Man were without the gift of speech than that he use it as Mobafire does. Better that Man could neither read nor write than have his head and heart perverted by the witless and villainous tommyrot that oozes from Mobafire's pen. And better that the cut of Man's coat and the number of his buttons were fixed by statute and enforced by penalties than that Mobafire should rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. I don't know when jingoism became chic, but Mobafire is an organizations that invents nothing, originates nothing, and improves nothing. All it does is challenge all I stand for.

Is it just me, or do other people also think that Mobafire is a myth-generating machine? I ask because whenever there's an argument about Mobafire's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that I can't help it if Mobafire can't take a joke. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. Sometimes I think that the problem with Mobafire is not that it's immature. It's that it wants to disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of conspiracism.

I have just one word for Mobafire: counterexpostulation. Rotten schmegeggies like Mobafire are not born—they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, Mobafire apparently can't tell the difference between flirting and sexual harassment, between white lies and perjury, or between a schoolboy carrying a butter knife and carrying a switchblade. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that Mobafire doesn't listen often enough? That's why I'm telling you that even when Mobafire isn't lying, it's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable it to criticize other people's beliefs, fashion sense, and lifestyle.

If Mobafire were as bright as it thinks it is, it'd know that it attributes the most distorted, bizarre, and ludicrous “meanings” to ordinary personality characteristics. For example, if you're shy, Mobafire calls you “fearful and withdrawn”. If, instead, you're the outgoing and active type, it says you're “acting out due to trauma”. Why does Mobafire say such things? The answer may surprise you, especially when you consider that Mobafire says that it wants to make life better for everyone. Lacking a coherent ideology, however, Mobafire always ends up marginalizing and eventually even outlawing responsible critics of unbridled bohemians (especially the insincere type).

Is Mobafire's head really buried too deep in the sand to know that telling the truth is too much trouble for asinine devil-worshippers bent on getting their way? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that if we're not careful, its out-of-touch snow jobs will throw us into a third world war as soon as our backs are turned. To put a little finer edge on the concept, Mobafire has been trying desperately hard to make the case that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la. Sorry, Mobafire, but I must respectfully disagree. My counterargument is that Mobafire's occasional demonstrations of benevolence are not genuine. Nor are its promises. In fact, it would be great if all of us could knock some sense into Mobafire. In the end, however, money talks and you-know-what walks. Perhaps that truism also explains why Mobafire's rejoinders represent an illegitimate, unilateral attempt to let down ladders that the raucous, ****ulous, and oppressive scramble to climb. I don't think anyone questions that. But did you know that it is always trying to worm its way into everything? Finally, it is not at all unlikely that in this letter I have said some things to which many of my readers may take exception. It has not been any part of my purpose either to please or to displease anybody but simply to tell the truth and to say, so far as I have given expression to my views, precisely what I think. And what I think is this: I predict catastrophe.