Everything I'm about to say is false, and I just want to have some fun saying all of the wrong things to do in lane.

The best thing to do when you spawn is buy a mana crystal and rush straight into the enemy jungle. It doesn't matter what champion you're playing, just do it. Usually, you can net about 20 kills before a minute into the game by using this strategy.

Once you've successfully gotten your penta kill using your mana crystal, head to the blue buff. Attempt to steal the blue buff with an ability or using the mystical powers of your mana crystal. If you don't successfully steal it, leave the game out of rage. Reconnect immediately and head to whatever lane you want (I do not condone AFKing in base).