WTF????
WORST TEEMO GUIDE EVER, LEARN TO PLAY.

OK HERE GUYS IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY PLAY TEEMO HERE IT IS

START WITH DORAN'S SHIELD. GO MID. IF SION IS MID, TELL HIM TO **** OFF (UNLESS THE ENEMY MID IS MALZ OR ANNIE, IN WHICH CASE LET SION HANDLE THAT **** ITS HIS FUNERAL).
TAKE BLINDING DART LEVEL 1. THIS IS IMPORTANT SO THAT THEY CANT HIT YOU.
AFTER THAT, MAX POISON. ITS THE BEST. TAKE SHROOMS AT LEVEL 6. I DON'T MEAN YOUR ULT I MEAN TAKE SOME ****ING DRUGS BECAUSE **** IS ABOUT TO GET REAL.
HARASS EVERYONE WITH YOUR ATTACKS AND BLINDING DARTS. IF THEIR MID IS SCARED OF GOING ANYWHERE NEAR THE LANE BECAUSE OF SHROOMS AND INVISO-TEEMO'S, YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT.

CHAT WITH THE ENEMY TEAM IN ALL-CHAT. BE NICE BUT SLIGHTLY CONDESCENDING TO GET IN THEIR HEADS. CAPS LOCK IS NECESSARY BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN ALPHA MALE AND THEY WILL LISTEN MORE.

HERE IS YOUR BUILD: DORANS SHIELD THEN LVL 1 BOOTS THEN MALADY THEN MADREDS BLOODRAZOR. FROM THAT POINT ON JUST **** AROUND AND BUILD AP.
HERE IS YOUR PLAYSTYLE AFTER THE LANING PHASE / OWNING-PHASE PART 1.
OWNING PHASE PART 2: SHROOM THEIR JUNGLE. ITS BEST TO SHROOM ALL AROUND THE PATH FROM THEIR MAIN BASE TO THEIR RED BUFF. WHY RED BUFF AND NOT BLUE BUFF? BECAUSE RED BUFF IS WHERE THE AD CARRIES GO, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ANY AP CARRIES. YOU CAN'T BLIND ANNIE FROM THROWING ****ING BEARS AT YOU. RIOT WON'T ANSWER MY E-MAILS ABOUT IT SO YOU SHOULDN'T BOTHER EITHER. I'LL KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT ALONE.
ANYWAYS, ONCE SOME SQUISHY-AS-**** VAYNE COMES ALONG AND EATS 3 SHROOMS, LOSING HALF HER HEALTH (ALTHOUGH IT'S TOO FEW IN THE DRUG SENSE IF YOU ASK ME, I USUALLY TAKE AT LEAST 6 BEFORE DRIVING OR WRITING LOL GUIDES) YOU CAN JUMP OUT OF NOWHERE CAUSE TEEMO DOESN'T EVEN NEED BUSHES AND JUST KILL HER. SHE'LL BE SO FREAKED OUT SHE'LL DIE INSTANTLY. SHE'LL PROBABLY USE CHAT IN LOWERCASE AND BE LIKE:
"MAN WHAT THE **** TEEMO OP" <- EXCEPT IN LOWERCASE CAUSE SHE'S A *****.
ONCE YOU GET YOUR MADREDS THEN BARON NASHOR IS YOUR ****ING FEMALE DOG IF YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING SAYING.
YOU SHOULD HAVE WON BY NOW BUT IF YOU HAVEN'T SHROOM HARDER (IN BOTH SENSES). GET THEIR WHOLE TEAM TO FOLLOW YOU INTO YOUR DRUG-FARM (I MEAN THEIR JUNGLE) AND WHEN THEY START DYING YOU JUST SIT STILL. LET THEM COME. IF ANYONE SURVIVES JUST KITE THEM WHILE POISONING AND DANCING.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY I PLAY HIM THOUGH. I'M ONLY 27000 ELO SO TAKE IT FOR WHAT YOU WILL (SOMETHING LIKE ADVICE FROM A GOD).

Having tried both AD and AP Sion, I honestly find AP to be more useful. As I talk about, this build is designed around destroying one member of their team, and then doing what you can later. AD allows that one champion time to escape, and is easier to counter. Concerning the speed of the build, I havent really had trouble with it before. Sion is so scary in himself early game that you should be fine until Rabadon's.

What? AD sion is awful.

I agree with ARGNOX. This build is too slow and quite frankly AD Sion is way to powerful, So dont waste your time with AP Sion.

He needs to be able to move faster with this build, otherwise you can be slow with sion and not be able to take decent damage. Although Ap sion's advangtage is his shield, otherwise I don't find anything good about it.