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Help with explosive players

Creator: Dragonliger May 2, 2013 8:41am
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Dragonliger
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Hello, Dragonliger here.

I am looking on advice on how to better an explosive player (note: explosive not toxic). You'll see, on my ranked team there's a friend who gets so into the game that yells and rages when things don't go her way. and specially when the enemies poke at us on chat. I'm thinking on telling her to mute the all chat but still I guess she will still get explosive and make mistakes.

What usually happens in game is that if someone takes a kill near her she says it was hers and cares mostly for kills than objectives. Also is a Little of a farm hogger (says it's my farm so get lost) I know her personality and this happens usually irl too but when it goes into the game is really bothersome, so have some advice to better her mood in game?
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Meiyjhe
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Well, it is pretty clear that she is a quite frustrated person :P
I'd ask her to become more relaxed and worry less about things.

I wrote some guides about flaming aswell (shameless selfpromotion!), you are free to read them if you wish :P
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Ferronax
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As someone who struggles with anger issues myself, the best advice I can give you is to not confront her in game about it, ask her about it when you're both calm and not actively playing. In the heat of the moment, right after I've made several death threats and threatened to eat someone's soul, I'm not in a very "receptive" mood to hear criticism and comments about my anger.

Later, while I'm eating a sandwich and not touching League, I realize 100% how utterly moronic I sounded while playing, and am capable of rational discussion about it.

It is utterly and completely impossible for you to solve her anger issues. There is exactly one person in the world who can fix it, and you have got to get her to do the fixing herself.
lifebaka
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Meiyjhe wrote:

I'd ask her to become more relaxed and worry less about things.

This is pretty ****ty advice, honestly. If it was that easy, people wouldn't have this problem.

Your friend is probably aware of the problem, but try bringing it up to her at some point. Preferably some time before she's exploded in a game, because when her temper is already high pointing out this issue isn't going to make things better. If you can have a calm conversation about this, you can come up with some sort of plan to deal with it.

I struggle with my temper sometimes, too, and what usually works for me is removing myself from whatever situation is making me angry/aggravated/annoyed/etc. for a while. This gives me time to cool down and recollect myself before going into another game. If you need a less-than-obvious way to create this sort of time for your friend, "helpfully" suggest that you need to get a snack (or need a drink, or need to use the bathroom, or something) after a game when your friend has exploded.
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Meiyjhe
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lifebaka wrote:

This is pretty ****ty advice, honestly. If it was that easy, people wouldn't have this problem.

Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me :O

If you want to have some better advice then, I have a tip for you that always works for myself:
Be relaxed yourself.

If you keep your cool, people will start to realise how stupid they are acting eventually.
People always adapt to the people around them. If you get frustrated of a person because they are frustrated, it will only increase the frustration :P
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GrandmasterD
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Turn up the metal and let it all go.
luizdeh
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Don't play the game if it's stressing you out. Simplest advice, best results.

I banned an explosive player from our football (soccer *cough*) weekly match because he was constantly complaining loudly, getting stressed out and consequently the game was not as fun for everybody. He listened to reason, understood and came back a while later with a completely different attitude. And I did it at the height of his anger outburst too, ready to clock him in the jaw if need be. It was what he needed.

Some people need to be swooned, some need shock, others need to rest and get away from it, etc. Understanding their need is priority #1.
Dragonliger
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Ferronax wrote:

As someone who struggles with anger issues myself, the best advice I can give you is to not confront her in game about it, ask her about it when you're both calm and not actively playing. In the heat of the moment, right after I've made several death threats and threatened to eat someone's soul, I'm not in a very "receptive" mood to hear criticism and comments about my anger.

Later, while I'm eating a sandwich and not touching League, I realize 100% how utterly moronic I sounded while playing, and am capable of rational discussion about it.

It is utterly and completely impossible for you to solve her anger issues. There is exactly one person in the world who can fix it, and you have got to get her to do the fixing herself.

lifebaka wrote:

Your friend is probably aware of the problem, but try bringing it up to her at some point. Preferably some time before she's exploded in a game, because when her temper is already high pointing out this issue isn't going to make things better. If you can have a calm conversation about this, you can come up with some sort of plan to deal with it.

I struggle with my temper sometimes, too, and what usually works for me is removing myself from whatever situation is making me angry/aggravated/annoyed/etc. for a while. This gives me time to cool down and recollect myself before going into another game. If you need a less-than-obvious way to create this sort of time for your friend, "helpfully" suggest that you need to get a snack (or need a drink, or need to use the bathroom, or something) after a game when your friend has exploded.


I think both are good advices I plan to put into motion subtly, I'll probably get some help from my other team partners too :D I'll post my results.
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Dragonliger
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Started with the block /all chat idea, worked perfectly we crushed the game and our overall synergy increased, she still raged a little when she was killed by the mid laner but didn't continue since she didn't give or receive feedback through the chat on it.
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what you should do is kick her off the team, if shes someone that still goes "YOU STOLE MY KILL DONT TOUCH MY FARM ITS MINE" she shouldnt be playing on a ranked team, no offense to you but shes probably you and the rest of your team down

and if youre playing for fun you should think to yourself "is it really fun seeing my friend get angry?"
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