Howdy! Allow me to introduce you my brand new guide (newness might be relative). Are you tired of always losing Top Lane? Are you tired of having to use all your mana to harass people? Tired of playing super-duper-over-mechanical champions, only to ragequit for not being able to carry (I'm talking to you, Riven mains!)? Well, look no further, your salvation is here!!
INTRODUCING, the blast from the past: Dr. Mundo! Forget all about those mana issues you ever had! Forget all about being poked to death in the first 2 minutes of the game! Forget all about not being able to move from Top Lane, Mundo goes where he pleases!
Take Champ Select by storm when you pick Dr. Mundo, making your whole team flame you throughout the entire game, ONLY TO HONOUR YOU IN THE END!! SUCH WOW! Win 1 vs 1 fights against 99%(*) of champions, tank ENTIRE TEAMS while protecting your friends with your HUGE, MUSCULAR BODY, spamming Ctrl + 4 (/laugh) when they try to Crowd Control Mundo! Caught in a bad spot? Mundo has no escapes? Who needs escapes when you can simply WALK AWAY? Watch your enemy tryhards blow all of their abilities on you, only to watch Dr. Mundo walk away using Sadism, barely losing ANY HEALTH!!1
Mundo, M.D!, a retired Zaunite doctor with an obsession for saying his own name a lot! He left his job to pursue his dreams of crating a unincorporated community in Southern California, where he resides TO THIS VERY DAY, until he feels the need to go where he pleases again!!
INFECTED CLEAVER!, Mundo's lifetime companion and best friend (besides Mundo himself). An all-purpose tool that thaught Mundo the art of weaving! Throughout the years, he learned the art of the Cleaver and mastered it to near perfection! And so can you!
Order your Dr. Mundo guide NOW, for the mere price of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!
That's right, you heard it! THE LOW PRICE OF 0.00$!!!11!1 Guarranteed fun, or YOUR MONEY BACK!
Mundo likes Mundo! Mundo is Mundo's only friend... do you want to be my friend (slurp)? Read Mundo guide!
(*) statistics may be incorrect; Re4XN Inc. does not take responsability for the lack of skills one may possess while playing Mundo, thus resulting is a DEFEAT. Get better, scrub.
Did I go too far? I think I didn't go too far... did I? I figured if this was the only chance to advertise... am I making sense?
My Pantheon guide!
In a world... overrun with hordes of NOOBS... where the odds of survival are as slim as not your mother, life is tough.BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE! From the creators of How To Go Where You Please!, Re4XN Inc. is proud to present Pantheon's Survival Guide! No longer do you have to bear with people eating through your brain after a lost game! No longer do you have to run back to your tower and cry like a baby, it is THE ENEMY'S TURN TO DO THAT!!! A guide so complete that the enemy team will need their own to survive the ensuing onslaught!
INTRODUCING, Mount Targon's pride: Pantheon! Poke the enemy out of existence in the first 2 minutes of the game and proceed to dominate the battlefield! Fight through hordes of unskilled noobs(*) sending them crying to the shopkeeper, over and over and over AND OVER AGAIN!1!1
Threat people to AFK if you don't get Mid Lane in Champ Select and watch them bow down to the might of Pantheon! Take the enemy by surprise in the Loading Screen when they are desperately trying to figure out if you're going Top, Mid or even ADC, while in reality, you are polishing your spear to impale their Mid Laner! Secure ALL the kills you can with Pantheon's OVERLOADED kit that will give even your worst foes a cancer so cancerous, that even the CANCER WILL GET CANCER!!1! Caught in a bad position? Enemy jungler and mid have you in their sights? NO PROBLEM! Kill them both and walk away while spamming Ctrl + 6, not showing your mastery level because before today you didn't even know who the hell Pantheon was!
Pantheon, the Slayer!, a demi-god from Mount Targon who has gotten tired of the League and now dedicates his life to exterminating hordes of zombies (brainless people who think they are good at the game)!
BIANCA!, Pantheon's t(h)rusty spear and the bane of EVERY. SINGLE. CHAMPION in the League! In recent times he attached a chainsaw to it, making it cut through the hordes all by herself when thrown!
As with other Re4XN Inc. products, this Survival Guide will only cost youABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!11!
EXACTLY!, you are not deaf!, the mere price of 0.00$!!1!!11 Guaranteed victories 80% of the time, ALL THE TIME!