In a world... overrun with hordes of
NOOBS... where the odds of survival are as slim as
not your mother, life is tough.
BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE! From the creators of How To Go Where You Please!, Re4XN Inc. is
proud to present
Pantheon's Survival Guide! No longer do you have to bear with people eating through your brain after a lost game! No longer do you have to run back to your tower and cry like a baby, it is
THE ENEMY'S TURN TO DO THAT!!! A guide so complete that the enemy team will need their own to survive the ensuing onslaught!
INTRODUCING, Mount Targon's pride:
Pantheon! Poke the enemy out of existence in the first 2 minutes of the game and proceed to dominate the battlefield! Fight through
hordes of unskilled noobs(*) sending them crying to the shopkeeper, over and over and over
AND OVER AGAIN!1!1
Threat people to
AFK if you don't get Mid Lane in Champ Select and watch them bow down to the might of
Pantheon! Take the enemy by surprise in the Loading Screen when they are desperately trying to figure out if you're going Top, Mid or even ADC, while in reality, you are polishing your spear to impale their Mid Laner! Secure
ALL the kills you can with
Pantheon's
OVERLOADED kit that will give even your worst foes a cancer so cancerous, that even the
CANCER WILL GET CANCER!!1! Caught in a bad position? Enemy jungler and mid have you in their sights?
NO PROBLEM! Kill them both and
walk away while spamming Ctrl + 6,
not showing your mastery level because before today you didn't even know who the hell
Pantheon was!
STARRING:
Pantheon, the Slayer!, a demi-god from Mount Targon who has gotten tired of the League and now dedicates his life to exterminating hordes of zombies (
brainless people who think they are good at the game)!
BIANCA!, Pantheon's t(h)rusty spear and the bane of
EVERY. SINGLE. CHAMPION in the League! In recent times he attached a chainsaw to it, making it cut through the hordes all by herself when thrown!
As with other Re4XN Inc. products, this Survival Guide will only cost you
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!11!
EXACTLY!, you are not deaf!, the mere price of
0.00$!!1!!11
Guaranteed victories 80% of the time,
ALL THE TIME!
Our customer's opinions:
Spoiler: Click to view
A random mid lane main:
Quoted:
Before buying the Survival Guide I was just like every other Mid Laner: I either AFK'd or fed the enemy. I still AFK from time to time, but now the enemy feeds me! Recommend it to everyone!
Aurelion Sol,
Dragon's cousin:
Quoted:
As a celestial being, one would think that diseases wouldn't affect me. Well, as soon as I met
Pantheon I knew I was wrong, that kid just gave me cancer.
Future Commenter and Happy Customer:
Quoted:
ZOMG!!, this the best guide everh, i won every1 single matc with dis amazing Guide! Money well spent!! r8 it 5/7
(*) unskilledness might be relative. Re4XN Inc. does not take responsibility for the person reading the guide being more unskilled than a potato, thus causing a defeat. Get better scrub!
