Need a Freaking Title!!
Creator: July 7, 2012 6:58pm
Maybe you can tell us a bit of what's in your story, like some significant events other than a 'childhood accident', because some/most of the time the title is related to something in the plot.
Also, is this a movie/play/what?
Also, is this a movie/play/what?
DuskToGlory
<Member>
<Member>
Canoas
<Member>
<Member>
That story does seem interesting.
Some ideas (these are just my ideas and will probably go against your own ideas, so disregard them if that's the case):
Change Mei'hua's name. Karen, Ben and Ryan are all normal names, Mei'hua's just plain weird and doesn't really fit with the rest.
Find a motive for Mei'hua. If Mei'hua lacks a good motive then the whole story is pointless. Don't use an obvious motive, leave clues along the story from the start so that people can put all the pieces together and figure it out right before you tell them or just simply connect the dots after you tell them what it is. This will add depth to the story.
My suggestion: Karen wasn't the only one to fall into the ravine. Ryan was there as well, and he died. Ryan and Mei'hua were engaged, so she wants revenge and starts by turning ben against karen. Due to Karen's incident she can only partially remember Ryan, have her relive what really happened and fully remember Ryan in her last dream. In this scenario Ryan and Karen must be mutually friendzoned, he must be a brotherly figure.
Some ideas (these are just my ideas and will probably go against your own ideas, so disregard them if that's the case):
Change Mei'hua's name. Karen, Ben and Ryan are all normal names, Mei'hua's just plain weird and doesn't really fit with the rest.
Find a motive for Mei'hua. If Mei'hua lacks a good motive then the whole story is pointless. Don't use an obvious motive, leave clues along the story from the start so that people can put all the pieces together and figure it out right before you tell them or just simply connect the dots after you tell them what it is. This will add depth to the story.
My suggestion: Karen wasn't the only one to fall into the ravine. Ryan was there as well, and he died. Ryan and Mei'hua were engaged, so she wants revenge and starts by turning ben against karen. Due to Karen's incident she can only partially remember Ryan, have her relive what really happened and fully remember Ryan in her last dream. In this scenario Ryan and Karen must be mutually friendzoned, he must be a brotherly figure.
Your further explanation makes it seem completely different from how you depicted it in the first post O.o
"I saw [Twilight: Eclipse] in theaters with a girl I was dating at the time. I spent more time staring at my toes and wiggling them than I did watching this abomination. When Edward proposed to Blank Face, I finally looked up with a revelation.
I blurted out loud, in a dead silent theater full of teenage girls on opening night "Wait a minute, Edward has no blood flow. How does he get an erection?" I heard several men laughing, and had several girls turn and stare at me.
I did not get laid that night." - Berengier817
I blurted out loud, in a dead silent theater full of teenage girls on opening night "Wait a minute, Edward has no blood flow. How does he get an erection?" I heard several men laughing, and had several girls turn and stare at me.
I did not get laid that night." - Berengier817
Canoas
<Member>
<Member>
I like the name Mei'hua and wouldn't want
that bit changed, personally. Definitely not as
Mei has some meaning in Chinese. Also hua for that
matter, but not nearly as good ^^.
that bit changed, personally. Definitely not as
Mei has some meaning in Chinese. Also hua for that
matter, but not nearly as good ^^.
"(Btw LZ, I read all of your posts like a poem because your paragraphs look like stanzas. It's rather amusing. :P)" - PsiGuard
"^ya same
why you write like that" - wRAthoFVuLK
"Why DO you write like that?" - Amazing Monkey
"Why do you write like that LZ?" - iownedya
"no-one knows, but it is unique.
An artist originalising his work,
per say. Yet what have I done,
I have copied his work.
It's probably wrong too, but lolz. Keep at it LZ, since it makes reading your posts interesting." - ShiftyCake
"^ya same
why you write like that" - wRAthoFVuLK
"Why DO you write like that?" - Amazing Monkey
"Why do you write like that LZ?" - iownedya
"no-one knows, but it is unique.
An artist originalising his work,
per say. Yet what have I done,
I have copied his work.
It's probably wrong too, but lolz. Keep at it LZ, since it makes reading your posts interesting." - ShiftyCake
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novelsscripts are as entertaining as his first threads he made on MOBAfire. :V