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Shakespeare's dirty jokes and sexual innuendos

Creator: MrCuddowls April 26, 2013 4:57am
MrCuddowls
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Post one, i'll start

Romeo and Juliet, act 1 scene 1
This one should be easy to understand

SAMPSON: A dog of that house shall move me to stand: I will
take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's.
GREGORY: That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes
to the wall.
S: True; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels,
are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push
Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids
to the wall.
G: The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.
S: 'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I
have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the
maids, and cut off their heads.
G: The heads of the maids?
S: Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;
take it in what sense thou wilt.
G: They must take it in sense that feel it.
S: Me they shall feel while I am able to stand: and
'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.

Seems like Sampson has one wild imagination.
Searz
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Don't tell me you didn't see this coming.
I'm a strong independent black mage who don't need no mana.

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