*mumbling angrily* “I told Garen-- I told him! But nooooooo, he was all ‘Sejuani, he’s blind I feel bad,’ and ‘Sejuani he’s just going through some post-nerf issues’ -- He’s a BLIND. MONK. The logic is heartbreaking...”
“--Hey! Um, excuse me! Excuse--”
“What point is having Bruce Lee over here if he’s throwing flying kicks in the opposite direction?? More like Steven Segal if you ask me. I mean--”
“BOAR LADY.”
*Blinks; turns towards Kayle* “Excuse me?”
“Haha, sorry. Had to get your attention. Are you-- um, your eye’s twitching...”
“What? Oh, my bad. *Stops eye-twitching* It happens when I get angry.”
“Yeah, I have a few coping techniques of my own. Anyway, are you a fighter?”
“Tank, actually. Sorry.”
“Oh, that’s fine! We have a teammate who can switch to a DPS build!”
“Err, mind telling me what’s this all about?”
“Oh! Sorry, where are my manners? *Smiles sweetly* I’m Kayle, The Judicator.”
“Sejuani. Winter’s Wrath.”
“Charmed! Anyway, our fighter rage-quit. Yelled something about my mother being OP as I recall too..."
“He sounds lovely.”
“Haha, well, children will be children.”
“Easy to beat up.”
“He took-- wait, what?”
: “What?”
“... *Shakes it off* Anyway, he took off, so we’re one champion short now. I was thinking we could help each other out, seeing how you’re teamless and all...”
“Wow, I already look teamless? Haha, is it the outfit?”
“Nooo! The outfit looks great!--.”
“It’s the outfit.”
“--It’s just so barbaric! What were you going for, Conan with ovaries??”
“That’s the guy with the talk-show, right?...”
“--But nevermind the outfit, we need a 5th teammate and we need one quick. You want in?”
“Ehhh. I could really use the gold... sure, why not.”
“Great! Oh, this’ll be fun! *Leads Sejuani away* I love your pet boar by the way; he’s so cute!”
“Thanks. Haha, his name is Pumba.”
“Haha!... I don’t get it.”

*5 minutes later*

“Hi guys! Guys, this is Suh-Jainy, the Winter’s Wrath.”
“Sejuani, actually.”
“You would get it wrong, stupid.”
*Sighs* “Sejuani, this is my sister, Morgy.”
“I’m not your sister.”
“--Who is in denial of the fact that we’re sisters.”
“If I had a sister, she definitely wouldn't call me Morgy. She’d be cool, not stupid like you.”
“Hey, Morgana.”
“Your boar’s stupid.”
“Actually, his name’s Pumba.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Apparently no one does...”
“That name’s stupid.”
“Your vocabulary is impeccable.”
“--And if we stop bickering and look to our left, we’ll see our jungler! Udyr, this is Sejuani.”
“Udyr is pleased to meet you.”
“Thanks, I-- *Blinks* You just called yourself Udyr.”
*Whispers* “Raised by animals, that one.”
“You don't say. Um, Sejuani is very pleased to meet Udyr... I guess.”
“Yeah, ‘Dances with Wolves’ over here won’t change out of Stupid-Stance.”
“Udyr thinks maybe if you change out of Skank-Stance--”
“MY APPAREL IS SEXY AND EFFECTIVE IN BATTLE! HOW DARE YOU--”
“This happens a lot. *Leaves the two to keep fighting* You’ll get used to it.”
“I hope I don’t.”
“So how’d you get kicked off your team?”
“I didn’t; I left.”
“Aww, how come?”
*Reminisces*


“Dudes, let’s see how far I can punt Teemo!”
“Can we PLEASE just gank mid?”
“Bet I could clear that bastard right over the second tower--"
"LEE."
"Okay, okay, lemme just ping the map so Lux knows.”
“She’s on our team; she can see us in the brush--”
“PING! PING! PINGPINGPINGPINGPING--”
“WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING ‘PING’?!?!”


“Your eye’s twitching...”
“Sorry. Our jungler was... interesting, to say the least.”
“Ummm...?”
“Let’s just say he went for “green buff” a little too often.”
“Ohhh. A 'Junnnnngler.'”
“Yup.”
“Hmmm... I never had the courage to ask Udyr if he does that. Well don’t worry, you’re with good teammates now. Isn’t that right guys?”
“--I mean, just LOOK at yourself! Does Bambi know you’re wearing her mother’s pelt?”
“At least Udyr isn’t using the rest of her carcass to create unspeakable baked goods!”
“My pastries are delicious!”
“Then why did Udyr have to burn the last batch using Phoenix-Stance?
“THAT WAS YOU?!”
“--GUYS. *Both turn towards Kayle* Can we PLEASE get ready? The battle’s about to start.”
*Mumble grudgingly and walk to their posts*
"THANK you."
“Udyr, you’ve never 'Junnnngled,' have you?”
“Ahhhh, Udyr thinks it best not to answer that question...”
“UDYR!”
“JUNGLING IS A LONELY OCCUPATION. Sometimes Udyr needs motivation to keep Udyr going!”
“Hemp-Stance? Jungling must go reeeeeeally slowly. Do you try to make friends with the golems at Blue?”
“Udyr advises you to shut the hell up.”
“Guys, stop it! The battle’s about to begin any minute--”


*WELCOME TO SUMMONER’S RIFT*



“...Nice call, stupid.”
"Seriously do you only know one adjective?"
"That was a noun, dumbass."
"At least you used 'dumbass' that time--"
“What?? We’re not even ready! They summoned us too soon! We have to go over runes and--”
“Umm, where’s our 5th?”
“Oh, she’s right-- *looks around the base* Great. Looks like a 4v5 guys.”
“GG, screw this. Udyr’s going to go jungle.”
“You will do no such thing! Guys, we got this. Udyr build off-tank and go jungle, but remember we’re in Summoner’s Rift, okay? Not Amsterdam.”
“Okay...”
“Good. Sejuani, you can handle yourself right? *Sejuani nods* You go bot then, and I’ll take top. Morgy--”
“I told you not to call me that.”
“--You go mid as usual. We’re going to need ganks on top though.”
“Your mom ganks on top.”
“WE’RE FAMILY, DAMN IT! THAT’S JUST WEIRD!”
“--Okay, okay, fine! I’ll help with the ganks, sheesh.”
“Thank you. Alright guys, good luck and remember to buy wards. Now let’s go pwn some noobs!”


*VICTORY!*


*Aftermath...*

“Wow! That went better then I thought it would!”
“Yeah! Good thing we managed to shut down Jax early game.”
“Haha, did you see the size of his lamppost? He’s definitely compensating for something.”
“Udyr insinuates Jax is bad in the sack.”
“...You ruined it.”
“Whatever; I’m just glad things went better than expected. So Sejuani, wanna stick with us for awhile?”
“I guess I don’t see the harm in that. Where’s your 5th teammate though?--”
“Oh! Here she comes now!”
“Hey guys, sorry for missing that fight. Long story short, I thought we decided to go Dominion so I accidentally solo queued, and-- ugh teemo would not shut up! I wanna just stomp on that fat furry face of his-- ...Who’s the new girl?”
“Ashe, this is Sejuani, Winter’s Wrath. Sejuani, this is-- *Turns to Sejuani* um, your eye’s twitching...”