Views: 1537 Pedro's Nuzlocke Adventures: I wanna be the very bully
Today Poppy and I will leave the house. It's time.
Ever since my father left me and my mother, our lives changed forever. Mother vowed never to leave the front of the tv until she watched the whole series of Grey's Anatomy (rip) and I swore never again I would depend on someone else to survive on this cruel TALL GRASS OF DOOM filled world.
And now with Poppy, my BRAVE bulbasaur, I can finally follow my dream: to bully money out of Pokemon trainers so I can get my own house!
I mean, think about it: most Pokemon trainers are whiny kids who left their houses "to become the very best", they NEED money to get Pokebals and stuff. If I kill their critters and menace their lives they'll HAVE to shower me with gold! It's freaking perfect!
As I make my way downstairs and hear Christina Yang cry though the stereo, I know I made the right choice. I walk out with no regrets.
Day 3/2: Wow Pokédex such bs
Poppy and I have braved THE TALL GRASS OF DOOM on Route 1 and boy is it filled with useless midget Pokemon feeders. We still got no Pokeballs tho so I can't increase numbers on my team. Also, no Trainers were sighted. Sux.
Thus I arrive in Viridian city and decide to spend what savings I have in ANTIDOTES because I heard the forest had tons of poison and I really can't afford to lose Poppy yet since he/she (I dunno, does it have a cloaca?) is my only pokemon. They gave me this Parcel thing that I can deliver to prof Oak and I nearly trashed the place because I'm no one's *****, but I figured "Hey I got no Pokeballs maybe I can use this as leverage to get some free ones" (what kind of market doesn't have any of those precious things for sale?)
I get back to the lab, my Waifu Gary is here and Oak gives us this Pokedex thing AND free balls. WOO.
Thus, as I make my way to Viridian, I discover my first Newcomer: Phoenix the Pidgey! I named it Phoenix because I have no imagination and I like Final Fantasy a lot ^_^
And this is when I noticed something: the Pokedex is giving me info on Pidgey. What the actual ****? I mean, I'M the one who's supposed to gather info for it, not other way around oO So yeah, I delete the entry and just enter "Pidgey Takles things. It might damage it's winds. Dumb ****."
Day 3/4: Route 22 gave me the second Newcomer hero, Twitch the Ratata!
I'm really happy because it looks so rare ^_^ Also, it gives Phoenix a rest since he/she keeps Tackling things and I fear for brain damage.
Day 4: Cinderella the Ratata!
Yeah so Ratatas are actually a plague and someone should do something about them. I mean, I get to Route 2 and WOO ANOTHER ONE SO LUCKY IMMA CALL YOU CINDERELLA! But nope there's like 1000 so imma keep my pokeballs to myself before I have an army of rats or something oO
Cinderalla... now there's a brave soldier. Together we faced THE TALL GRASS OF DOOM with courage bolstering our lungs and an iron will guiding our feet. We faced the dooms of midget birds and rats alike, never to faulter. Soon, we would get to the first wuss-infested area and start doom in Kanto! (or is this not Kanto? I forgets) YE CINDERELLA!
No actually Cinderella died in it's premiére battle against a Pidgey. She missed and got crit'd. Then Twitch crit'd (Infinity Edge baby) and got the exp.
I have commended Cinderella's soul to Valhalla. RIP in peace.
But fear not. Your death will not (lol I yes it will) be without meaning!