So I have been in a massive slump lately. It's been going for a while but it hadn't really bothered me/been as apparent as it's getting right now.

The main cause of this is pretty simple. After searching for a champion/role to play for an entire season, finally finding one and putting everything I had into her (Riven), I am now unable to play her due to her massive increase in popularity in high elo solo queue and as a result the perma ban she pretty much has now. I didn't really have a plan B either. I had a few back up champs that I enjoyed playing when Riven wasn't available but as much as I enjoy playing them, it's just not the same.
Now that I'm so close to hitting diamond 1, but no longer have my main champion available to me, I've just been feeling less and less motivated to play the game.

The way I usually deal with a slump is I just take a break from the game for a week or two, which I pretty much have done. I have had slumps before and they were always resolved by just doing something else for a while and then coming back to the game with a fresh mindset. This time it just doesn't feel the same.

So the other option was to just try different things, see if I could find something I could potentially enjoy and play as well as Riven, but so far every attempt has just led to massive rage. Every game I have played with people lately I have just been so off my game, getting so annoyed about it and then I just end up getting really mad. It's a trend I'm really not looking to continue because it not only hurts the people I'm playing with, but it also hurts myself.
Gaming as a child I always raged when I lost a game. I destroyed dozens of N64, playstation and a bunch of other controllers of old consoles just because I would get so mad when things didn't go my way. It would happen outside of gaming as well and it's something I have been working on a lot for the last few years. Ever since I started playing league of legends my patience was tested to the extreme and I have been getting a lot better at controlling my anger, so much so that outbreaks wouldn't really occur anymore.. untill last week.

So yeah because I don't want this to happen anymore I'm basically left with 1 option. I need to take an extended break from this game because right now it's doing some pretty horrible things to me. I'm probably going to look for something else at least untill Riven no longer is a ban worthy champion (expecting Riot to Olaf her soon due to all the pressure of the community). This is really hard to do because for years now, and this probably sounds pretty ****in sad, League of Legends has been all I had in my life. I still really like this game and I don't want to stop playing because I truly believe I'm good at it and have a chance of getting places but after today I simply have no choice.

This has been a pretty uninteresting rant but I really had to get it off my chest because I was feeling pretty horrible.

Lastly, I'd like to apologize to whoever I raged at in my games this last week, specifically Wayne and Luther.. I lost control of myself and whatever happened I was definitely in the wrong.