Hello again with my second personal blog here in MOBAFire. I'm not being much active here on this site for a few days because of my break on League. I have personal problems that I need to resolve because it affects my plays. So let's discuss my sexuality and my "luck" on finding that love...

My choice of sexuality



I've discovered that I am bisexual since my third year in high school. Initially, I like girls, but I also like boys. I have a big rejection over the fact, but I recognized and accepted it in my last year in high school (fourth year). I hid it, but my friends can see the signs that I am. And my result of hiding it is I've became depressed and paranoid. I felt that if I came out, no one will accept me.. They will reject me and feel isolated. I made myself trapped in a maze that I made myself.

As you remembered, I came out here in MOBAFire as a bisexual. You guys are the first ones who knew my sexual orientation. I've been hiding it for many years and these past weeks, it began to swell up. I felt really anxious about my choice of sexuality. Then these past two weeks my feelings that it just "popped". Then I posted several Facebook posts about what I've felt about my family and friends. I said on one of the posts (verbatim):

Quoted:

To my friends,
I apologize that I never go out with you most of the time. I think that you are talking to my back, always. I think you don't like me at all. I think that I am being a pushover to your circle of friends. So if you don't want to talk about me, you can do so. If you really want to kick me out, go ahead. I'll accept your decisions anyway. I feel like I am isolated otherwise. That I don't belong at this world at all.



And I went to the psychiatrist at my mother's suggestion a few hours ago. I told all of what I need to say about her. And she said that the cause of my anxiety is my problem with not "coming out". I need to work upon my "self-trust" and reconcile with my thoughts to embrace myself.

And do you know why I have the courage to tell it all? Well...


<3 <3 <3


I met this guy named Matt in Omegle. He's also a Filipino. We met in Valentine's Day! We both came there on that site for the same thing. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
He's THAT big and...
Aaaand let's not get over into that, shall we? He's such a sweet person, and he has problems too. He has sleeping problems that is the reason why he needs to take sleeping pills. And he's not really confident with his looks. He's saying he's ugly and all. But no, this fox is telling him he is cute! We originally planned to meet, but he said to me that we should not continue that plan because he's not confident to face me in his physical state of him. But the feeling is mutual because I don't want him to see me in my psychological state of mine...

I've fallen for him... For real...


AAAAND THAT'S ALL FOR MY BLOG! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!