Views: 1381 The Chaotic Times#1: LoL Players Suffer from Narcolepsy?
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Having a rough game in LoL? Don't we all! Have that one teammate who is just raging at the summoner pool so hard you could literally feel his burning wrath and rage begin to melt your face off of your skull? Been there, know how you feel. Ever had a raging rager on your team suddenly.... fall.... asleep? ....What?
Over the past few weeks, I've noticed a growing number of these cases rising, adding up to a substantial amount that would draw my attention to investigating the problem. I immediately took to the scene of summoners rift and headed directly to the summoner pools to solve the mystery of the sleeping summoners.
Almost instantly, I was met by a group of disgruntled summoners who were gathered around one of their fallen comrades, who had fallen asleep suddenly during the middle of a match. "He got so mad that he just passed out!" said one confused summoner. "I was commanding Teemo when I was suddenly chopped up into itty bitty smitheroons by Garen who was hiding in a bush I was planning to put a mushroom in. It was an honest mistake, but suddenly, my teammate Mozenrath, turned around and slapped me right in the face and began to yell at me!" He exclaimed. "I've never seen Mozenrath so upset before in all of my life. He slammed his hands down on the ground like a pissed off gorilla, stared into my eyes with the intention to kill and just.... fell asleep." Reports show that the last thing recorded by the tribunal records report was "Zzzzzz" by Mozenwrath, and eventually led to the champion he was commanding to be pulled back to his base until his summoner regained conscious. The team shortly called for a vote to surrender the match to give them time to attend to their fallen comrade. Mozenwrath gained conscious an hour later and was quickly faced with charges of harassment against his fellow summoners along with charges of being derelict of his duties on the battlefield. He is currently going through the trial process at the tribunal, for the same situation has been an ongoing problem for the past few months for him.
"I can understand a summoner venting out of frustration over the fact that their teammates are incompetent ****s, but to fall asleep on the spot is just plain absurd" claims an official of the tribunal. "The cases just keep on coming on in of summoners passing out on the spot after having a rage fit. It's almost like someone is inflicting them with an ailment that's causing this growing number of cases." The tribunal official, who has requested to remain anonymous, has provided us with several chat records of cases involving people falling asleep during matches after moments of showing sheer disappointment.
Teemo: Let me go toplane, I can counter swain with blinding darts.
Irelia: Sorry, but I'm using Irelia, she's a much better counter against Swain. (+ you can't even blind spells)
Teemo: No. You haven't even seen my build, I'm going top so **** off and go bot like a good *****.
*Irelia proceeds towards top lane regardless*
Teemo: GET THE **** OUT OF MY LANE *****
Sona: Teemo just go bot, Sona + teemo is OP! :3 <3 <3 <3
Teemo: ......zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
**Teemo has disconnected**
Irelia: Sweet dreams!
Ashe: YOU PULLED ANOTHER ****ING CREEP BLITZ!
Blitzcrank: I'm sorry. This is my first time blitz in a normal queue.
Ashe: WELL ****ING PLAY CHAMKPIONS YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY
Olaf: Top MIA.
Blitzcrank: ;_;
*Moments later, renekton (who was the opposing top lane) ganks bottom lane. Blitz successfully lands a pull..... on the renekton who simply kills them both under the turret when they were running away*"
Ashe: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
**Ashe has disconnected**
Blitzcrank: O.O
Tryndamere: Oh god... that Janna is..... mmmmmmmmm
Janna: ....what?
Master Yi: Here we go again.
Tryndamere: Hey Janna, nice tits.
Janna: Oh ****. Not this again.
Twitch: I like where this is going :3
Tryndamere: Janna made my pants shrink by 6 sizes. She needs to gank my bot to fix the problem
Janna: You're such a dirty pig you know?
Twitch: QUICK TRYND! I'LL HOLD HER DOWN!
Tryndamere: ...zzzzzzzzzz
Twitch: ...? Trynd?
Janna: Did he.... pass out?
**Tryndamere has Disconnected**
Master Yi: He forgot that you're suppose to pass out after sex.
Twitch: You weren't paying attention to what he was doing with his right hand, weren't you?
Master Yi: .....Zzzzzzzz
**Master Yi has Disconnected**
Toshabi: Oh god, this Fizz..... dem ganks...
wRAthoFVuLK: Zzzzzzz
Toshabi: WAKE UP WRATH >:[
Leading scientists who have examined the patients in most of the latest cases came to the conclusion of narcolepsy; a condition that causes the inflicted to suffer from severe drowsiness after having a "trigger" set off. I spoke with one of them and had a one on one interview in regards to the rising problem to better understand what it was this 'narcolepsy' was.
"Narcolepsy is a chronic sleep disorder, or dyssomnia, characterized by excessive sleepiness and sleep attacks at inappropriate times, such as while at work at the summoner pools. People with narcolepsy often experience disturbed nocturnal sleep and an abnormal daytime sleep pattern, which often is confused with insomnia. Narcoleptics, when falling asleep, generally experience the REM stage of sleep within 10 minutes; whereas most people do not experience REM sleep until an hour or so later" leading scientist Wiki Pedia stated. "Another one of the many problems that some narcoleptics experience is cataplexy, a sudden muscular weakness brought on by strong emotions, for example, a summoners frustration at his teammates."
He took me to another room shortly afterwards where one of the summoners, who was predicted to have narcolepsy, was being held. There, they were having the summoner retell what happened during the match in great detail. To my shock and surprise, the moment when he recalled the specific event that sent them on a raging spiral of anger and hatred, he twitched, looked forward blankly, and collapsed to the ground. We reviewed cases of possible narcolepsy for hours, seeing summoners collapse into their dreams suddenly through stimulants such as anger, sexual arousal, and extreme moments of happiness. "This is a very unfortunate problem for many summoners and the tribunal" Wiki said. "After adding in this factor to each case, most rulings have to be overruled and many summoners need to be tried in court again."
Hundreds of cases went back into courts the following week and many were found to be innocent and were relieved of their punishment. The only cases where the rulings were unaltered involved the cases of people like Mozenwrath, where they harassed and inflicted physical harm to their fellow teammates. Although this is a known problem, summoners should never hesitate to report in cases of narcolepsy, despite it being a physical condition that the inflicted cannot help. With each report comes the chance for their records to be updated with this new information to help get each summoner with narcolepsy treated and have them get the special attention that is required for them to be an effective summoner on the rift.
For more information about narcolepsy and to see the effects in action, follow the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0h2nleWTwI
Over the past few weeks, I've noticed a growing number of these cases rising, adding up to a substantial amount that would draw my attention to investigating the problem. I immediately took to the scene of summoners rift and headed directly to the summoner pools to solve the mystery of the sleeping summoners.
Almost instantly, I was met by a group of disgruntled summoners who were gathered around one of their fallen comrades, who had fallen asleep suddenly during the middle of a match. "He got so mad that he just passed out!" said one confused summoner. "I was commanding Teemo when I was suddenly chopped up into itty bitty smitheroons by Garen who was hiding in a bush I was planning to put a mushroom in. It was an honest mistake, but suddenly, my teammate Mozenrath, turned around and slapped me right in the face and began to yell at me!" He exclaimed. "I've never seen Mozenrath so upset before in all of my life. He slammed his hands down on the ground like a pissed off gorilla, stared into my eyes with the intention to kill and just.... fell asleep." Reports show that the last thing recorded by the tribunal records report was "Zzzzzz" by Mozenwrath, and eventually led to the champion he was commanding to be pulled back to his base until his summoner regained conscious. The team shortly called for a vote to surrender the match to give them time to attend to their fallen comrade. Mozenwrath gained conscious an hour later and was quickly faced with charges of harassment against his fellow summoners along with charges of being derelict of his duties on the battlefield. He is currently going through the trial process at the tribunal, for the same situation has been an ongoing problem for the past few months for him.
"I can understand a summoner venting out of frustration over the fact that their teammates are incompetent ****s, but to fall asleep on the spot is just plain absurd" claims an official of the tribunal. "The cases just keep on coming on in of summoners passing out on the spot after having a rage fit. It's almost like someone is inflicting them with an ailment that's causing this growing number of cases." The tribunal official, who has requested to remain anonymous, has provided us with several chat records of cases involving people falling asleep during matches after moments of showing sheer disappointment.
Teemo: Let me go toplane, I can counter swain with blinding darts.
Irelia: Sorry, but I'm using Irelia, she's a much better counter against Swain. (+ you can't even blind spells)
Teemo: No. You haven't even seen my build, I'm going top so **** off and go bot like a good *****.
*Irelia proceeds towards top lane regardless*
Teemo: GET THE **** OUT OF MY LANE *****
Sona: Teemo just go bot, Sona + teemo is OP! :3 <3 <3 <3
Teemo: ......zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
**Teemo has disconnected**
Irelia: Sweet dreams!
Ashe: YOU PULLED ANOTHER ****ING CREEP BLITZ!
Blitzcrank: I'm sorry. This is my first time blitz in a normal queue.
Ashe: WELL ****ING PLAY CHAMKPIONS YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY
Olaf: Top MIA.
Blitzcrank: ;_;
*Moments later, renekton (who was the opposing top lane) ganks bottom lane. Blitz successfully lands a pull..... on the renekton who simply kills them both under the turret when they were running away*"
Ashe: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
**Ashe has disconnected**
Blitzcrank: O.O
Tryndamere: Oh god... that Janna is..... mmmmmmmmm
Janna: ....what?
Master Yi: Here we go again.
Tryndamere: Hey Janna, nice tits.
Janna: Oh ****. Not this again.
Twitch: I like where this is going :3
Tryndamere: Janna made my pants shrink by 6 sizes. She needs to gank my bot to fix the problem
Janna: You're such a dirty pig you know?
Twitch: QUICK TRYND! I'LL HOLD HER DOWN!
Tryndamere: ...zzzzzzzzzz
Twitch: ...? Trynd?
Janna: Did he.... pass out?
**Tryndamere has Disconnected**
Master Yi: He forgot that you're suppose to pass out after sex.
Twitch: You weren't paying attention to what he was doing with his right hand, weren't you?
Master Yi: .....Zzzzzzzz
**Master Yi has Disconnected**
Toshabi: Oh god, this Fizz..... dem ganks...
wRAthoFVuLK: Zzzzzzz
Toshabi: WAKE UP WRATH >:[
Leading scientists who have examined the patients in most of the latest cases came to the conclusion of narcolepsy; a condition that causes the inflicted to suffer from severe drowsiness after having a "trigger" set off. I spoke with one of them and had a one on one interview in regards to the rising problem to better understand what it was this 'narcolepsy' was.
"Narcolepsy is a chronic sleep disorder, or dyssomnia, characterized by excessive sleepiness and sleep attacks at inappropriate times, such as while at work at the summoner pools. People with narcolepsy often experience disturbed nocturnal sleep and an abnormal daytime sleep pattern, which often is confused with insomnia. Narcoleptics, when falling asleep, generally experience the REM stage of sleep within 10 minutes; whereas most people do not experience REM sleep until an hour or so later" leading scientist Wiki Pedia stated. "Another one of the many problems that some narcoleptics experience is cataplexy, a sudden muscular weakness brought on by strong emotions, for example, a summoners frustration at his teammates."
He took me to another room shortly afterwards where one of the summoners, who was predicted to have narcolepsy, was being held. There, they were having the summoner retell what happened during the match in great detail. To my shock and surprise, the moment when he recalled the specific event that sent them on a raging spiral of anger and hatred, he twitched, looked forward blankly, and collapsed to the ground. We reviewed cases of possible narcolepsy for hours, seeing summoners collapse into their dreams suddenly through stimulants such as anger, sexual arousal, and extreme moments of happiness. "This is a very unfortunate problem for many summoners and the tribunal" Wiki said. "After adding in this factor to each case, most rulings have to be overruled and many summoners need to be tried in court again."
Hundreds of cases went back into courts the following week and many were found to be innocent and were relieved of their punishment. The only cases where the rulings were unaltered involved the cases of people like Mozenwrath, where they harassed and inflicted physical harm to their fellow teammates. Although this is a known problem, summoners should never hesitate to report in cases of narcolepsy, despite it being a physical condition that the inflicted cannot help. With each report comes the chance for their records to be updated with this new information to help get each summoner with narcolepsy treated and have them get the special attention that is required for them to be an effective summoner on the rift.
For more information about narcolepsy and to see the effects in action, follow the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0h2nleWTwI
*Haunter uses Nightmare*
"An ally has been slain"
**Luther3000 has disconnected**
Please continue.