Jovy
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What a strange game. I call top in the lobby but then Spirit Guard Udyr (ofc) instalocks top and is like duo top let's do it. I'm fine with that but then Teemo locks in as jungle so I figure it'd be better to not have a solo bot - I pick Cait. Then Graves locks in and says he's mid. And then Cho locks in and says he's mid. As it turns out, Udyr is in Plat V and carries pretty hard (although Cho talks **** the entire game talking about how he's carrying everyone because he has "map awareness" and he pinged top once which snowballed Udyr). We also started out with a failed jungle invasion because people were too slow out of base and they killed us in our jungle one at a time. I was solo bot against Jarvan and Nami, but somehow got kills because one of them would roam top to help out Morgana (who was constantly oom due to no mana regen) against Graves and Cho. The duo mid also led their Udyr to start ranting at us for pulling a "high elo strategy" (lane swap) in blind pick normals (he eventually switched to making fun of our Cho who is apparently in Bronze with 120 games). Other fun moments include our Graves (who built AP) dying to the Lizard Elder 25 minutes in and Nami escaping a teamfight with low HP only to die to the damage from a beartrap.
And when the blood was sprinkled on the ground where nothing could grow, the Children of the Dragon did spring up, the People of the Dragon, armed to dance with death till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit into Sightblinder's eye on the Last Day. And he did call them forth from the wasted lands, and they did shake the world with battle.
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