HI I am Riot_Megan and I'm here to give you all a first glance look at the newest edition to the fields of justice: Evelynn. Evelynn is a stealth hero reliant on position and opportunity to ensure she get kills and farm to advance into the late metagame with several powerful items in tow.

You may be aware the fine folks at the Riot pro gaming headquarters in the Gobi Desert have mustered the collective thinking powers to instate an unshakable, definitive metagame that any player, new or old, can forcefully adhere themselves to like a stale ******* wracked on the back of your mother's plasterboard-like *** by that guy she makes you call "daddy" even though your real father left you years ago because he realized the only life he could lead with such a putrid flesh rhino of a wife would be one of sexual frustration and unfulfilled potential, not to mention the fact his child is League of Legends playing ******* so everyday he wishes upon a star he could trade you in for a terminal leg injury that would leave him without use of either leg for the rest of his life because that would be less inconvenient than harboring the fact his seed is a literal piece of ****.

Anyways, while our pro gaming pals were stuck in their dirthut sucking down on a piece of cacti for it's precious water whilst circlejerking their impotent seed into the lip-smacking fray, one of them came out his stupor long enough to consciously soil himself and decide that Top lane would forever be known as the Solo lane, and thus, Evelynn players from that day forward comfortably called soloing top against a Fiora being played by a furry neckbeard who always stares at your kids for a little too long while you're at the gas station (his place of employment) who constantly harasses you until you're reduced to a thick puddle that was once called a playable hero.

"Metagame" and "Trinity Force" go together like "Sharp object" and "Your pregnant mother's womb".

Trinity Force is the defacto item engineered by the God's of Balance themselves: Riot Games. It gives a whopping 35% to slow someone for a largely ignorable amount, ontop of a damage buff that will leave your opponents crying out for the mother that originally left them on a stack of old coffee filters in a dumpster behind a ***'n'Go before they were found and raised by sexually abusive homeless people who taught them they could play online games at a local library, and how to take three ****s at once in their overly abused vagina that will never see the light of day again.

As Evelynn is a stealth hero, it is behooving to max her stealth fir- Oh wait no, Riot has thankfully made her stealth mechanic a passive now, so you can pretend you're playing Dota's Rikimaru. Although Rikimaru gameplay could also be emulated by smearing dog **** all over your face, you ARE playing Evelynn, so it's close enough to the same thing.

Pick up your ultimate at level 6, 11 and 16 because that Ezreal isn't going to killsteal himself, you know.

I don't know what is stupider.

League of Legends generic, unhelpful mastery page or your dumbass for actually using it.

It is intuitive you have lane staying power while playing Evelynn. For this reason I pick up all health runes, this will flow well when your "brain" (I use that term very loosely considering I wouldn't call a jumbled mess of nerve endings a coherent brain, but you work with what God gave you and your alcoholic mother destroyed) eventually makes the connection that Warmogs Armor has a lot of health on it, and therefore is the number one tanking item anyone can build. Pick yours up today while your Tristana rushes Bloodthirtster then gets reminded of why she doesn't play Tristana anymore.

yyuuppppp just unwinding after a long day of evelynn

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