Hi everyone, I am TheLoveCave and I have been playing League for a few months now. I'm not too good at it. Actually, I am not even playing ranked since I haven't reached level 30 yet.
Right now you're probably thinking: what is this guy even doing writing a guide. Well, I'm not too sure myself either. I just felt like it. Just read this okay you will like it.

So the only time i do really rock the game is when i play nasus. I suggest you play nasus too. However you are probably just as much a n00b as i am if you're reading this guide, so you dont have the slightest idea what to do. But fret not! Do exactly as i will explain here and you will be platinum within a few weeks.

There's a few things you need to know about nasus earlygame.

You are Nasus. That means you are the king of this game, so act like one. Always start the game with dancing in front of the enemy turret. Sometimes this will get you killed but it is totally worth.

Nasus isnt that strong early game, so dont die too much, buy some defense items depending on whom your up against (Spectre's cowl for Teemo-like *ssholes, glacial shroud + warden's mail for damage guys). Last hit the minions with your giant duck a.k.a the q button. If your duck is not on cooldown all the time you are not doing it right.

This will give you loads of stacks. Great!

Yep, it is. You now have defense stuff and some cooldown reduction from glacial shroud. You are swinging your duck at every single minion and they are lovin it. You are too. Just look at the thing go!
By now you should be able to reck the enemy toplaner, m8. So do it. Drop some spirit fire on da ground, wither the ****er, slap him in the face with your trunk. Maybe you need the ult, do it if you must. Also you have ghost so do that too.
When youve killed the bestard dance on top of his dead body. This is vital. Your teammates will think you are totally cool and it gets the enemy team flaming, which is the main goal of playing League. Also say something about the enemy's relatives in all-chat.

Another thing: Never. Leave. Lane. Ignore your teammates, they are not important. Keep stacking. Buy stuff in da shop. Stack more.

So by now all your teammates are probably pissed off as well. They'll say things like: ''omg this nasus report'' or ''stop farming and help us pls''. Enjoy this process. Then go out and help your mates, m8. Dont forget to first take the blue and/or red simply because you can. You are Nasus, noone can stop you.

Assemble all your mates in midlane. Now the teamfights start so get your game on.

So in the teamfight drop your sparkly circle on the enemy team and wait for some support dude to engage. Find the adc. Wither the ****er. Take your best friend out of your pants and bash it on his head. Scream when you do this. Go ulti and keep screaming and waving your cane in the air. YOU ARE GOING ABSOLUTELY MENTAL BEHIND YOUR PC. NEVER BACK OFF YOU AINT AFRAID OF NOBODY.

The enemy team will now retreat. Start dancing and encourage your teammates to dance too. They will probably be crying out silly things like ''take the baron'' or ''push push push''. Dont do that. They only say those things because they cant match your dancing skills. If they start raging say something about their mothers. That will shut them up.

When you're getting tired of dancing go top or bot all by yourself, go stack and reck the turrets. Place a ward in their camp since youve got teleport man so use it. Now back, take your full build, wait for the enemy to advance and teleport to your sneaky sneaky ward. Two or three beatings from your swaggerdagger should make the enemy nexus explode.

So..

You've won!

Great!

Note: on some rare occasions it might happen that you lose. This is not your fault. This is caused by the facts that you are nasus, hence other people can not be nasus. So they can never be as good as you. Thats okay. Just blame your teammates in all-chat and report all of them for unskilled player.