Aight y'all, I'm here to teach you guys how to play Wukong, the monkey king. Wukong is possibly one of the most overpowered champions of all time, and is seriously underrated as a champion right now. With the right training, I can show you how to raise yourself from Plastic V to Platinum in just 3.1415 games.

Who am I? I am Sensei Koala, master of the art of wuju. I've been playing Wukong for about 2 games now, so I'm pretty much the best Wukong player there is. Ever. I will show you the ONLY way to play Wukong, Sensei Koala Style.

Let us begin, Padawan.

The Monkey King is what makes the opposing team go punch their computers and sh~t their pants mid way through loading screen. Wukong is a Tanky Ranged Melee Carry Assassin Jungler DPS AP AD top/bot/mid laner who does whatever the heck he wants to. Because Wukong is so broken right now, you can play him every lane and get free ELO. In fact, you can actually get yourself to Diamond I just by afking as Wukong. The other team will surrender because they fear your OP Monkey Swag.



Pros:

-Does insane damage
-Instant ELO
-Monkey Swag will bring happiness to your life
-His staff knocks people up
-Wukong will get you laid

Cons:

-After seeing Op Monkey Swag, you can't go back.


Let's just move on to the runes.

Explanation

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Here's what you need to do before you actually get into game. Take six bananas from your local banana dealer and place them on the floor in a circle. Put a standard wax candle in the middle of the circle and take off your shirt (applies to girls too, just do it. Do you want free ELO or not?!?!) and mark your body with the Sacred Monkey Markings. After this, fast for 30 years straight, sitting in your room chanting the Monkey King's name. If you have done this correctly, the Monkey Swag will be in you and you and the monkey will become one. Additionally, this will unlock a hidden monkey king rune page. This will give you more rune slots for the ultimate monkey domination.

Marks

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You want to take Marks of Hybrid Penetration because you want to penetrate things. You don't want your penetration to be limited depending on what your opponent is playing, so ofcourse, you'd take the hybrid penetration marks.

Glyphs

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Because Wukong is a FAT monkey (Bananas are surprisingly high in calories), he tends to get out of breath really quickly. This may cause some problems. See, when you're out of breath and fat, you need ENERGY. The solution? The Glyph of Scaling Energy will help him get more energy as time goes on. This will help him with his weight problems (the armor is quite heavy...and his staff is so big ;3) and he will get his energy/breath back faster as he levels up. By level 18, he should be able to run around Summoner's Rift without a problem.

Seals

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Seals are marine mammals that Wukong likes to prey on. When he eats the Seal of Mana Regeneration, he will have infinite mana.

Quints

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Honestly, i didn't even know they sold these in the shop. But because you're carrying so hard, it's best that IF you die, you are automatically back into the game. Remember, without you, there is no team, so you should ALWAYS be on the Field of Justice.

Wukong's passive, "OP Monkey Swag" is the only thing that matters.

OP Monkey Swag

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"OP Monkey Swag - For every second he is alive, Wukong draws power from the Koala Gods to grant him power, giving him 100000 AD per minion kill, 1000000000000000 health, and reduces cooldowns by 99.999%. At level five, he has the ability to clone 10 times. Each clone has 10,000 health and 1000000 attack, and automatically hops onto an enemy turret, humping it so furiously that it kills itself in shame. Additionally, for every banana you sacrifice to the monkey king in real life, Wukong deals tons of damage, and gets you cake and b~tches."

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The only skills important here are his W and his R. Warrior Trickster allows him to clone himself so that you can pretty much juke out of everything that your opponents throw at you. Ignore your E and Q because this guide doesn't concern those pathetic loser moves. You're too good for that. Cyclone is his trademark move. His staff grows larger and larger as he ults, knocking people up and making them scream because his staff is too long for them to take. This is what makes Wukong so terrifyingly overpowered at the moment. Especially with your marks of penetration, this ultimate will really knock your opponents up with that long staff of his and have GREAT penetration at the same time. At the start of the game, your goal is to max w by level five and then just put all your points into w and your ult from there on.

sight ward

This is the only item you need in this game. Your passive will win you the game, but because -2 ELO noobs always complain about people not warding, you better buy a few sight wards just in case. Your end build should be 30x Sight Wards because warding is winning.

The OP Monkey goes well with a few HIDDEN champions and has a few enemies as well.

Counters

-The AFKer: Obviously, you're good enough to 1v5 their whole team, but this is still annoying. There's always one kid who thinks instalocking Wukong is a sin (Which it isn't; it's encouraged to instalock Wukong) and goes afk for the entire game.

-The Noob: There's one on every team, this is the guy that instalocks Soraka and takes ignite/barrier and starts with Dorans Blade and dies to red buff in a feeble attempt to jungle.

-The Lagger: "A Summoner has Disconnected"

- The Honor Magnet: This is that one annoying guy that starts off the game with "My life is so perfect! Hello everyone, I love you all and I'm sure this will be a great game, Good luck and have fun sweethearts~ <3 <3 <3 HONOR PLSSSS >:("


Fortunately, you can counter this by queueing with one of the below:

Synergies

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-The Duck: Completely overpowered and still needs a nerf, the Duck will pretty much give you free ELO and teach you how to not suck at life.

-The Ignore Button: Nothing needs to be said here.

-The Report Button: After claiming your free ELO, be sure to report everyone who yelled at you for playing Wukong.

Well, that's it young padawan. Be sure to follow this guide very closely, and I'll see you in Challenger tier.