I'm really just going to put everything here.

1: items, just try to get a zeal after a phage or a few dorans blades, so that at somepoint you have both a zeal and a phage. they'll think your going "tri" and not build any armour. SURPRISE!
now you have your 1st phantom, a phage and a dorans blade or two, you can officially rape a **********er. After you get fed, proceed to thick an infinity edge, and get a vamp scepter in there if you want one.

2: WAT BOOT DO I GET?!?!? calm the **** down there friend. all you need to do is ANALYZE the situation laid before you. and then get the appropriate boot. AKA if your lane is ad ( get ninja tabi) if its a vlad or some **** (get some merc treads) or if its teemo. get a swift boot. nothing says swift like Zed with 2 phantoms, a triforece, and a speed boot.

3: SKILLZ TO PAY THE BILLZ! (oh****no.jpg)
get, just listen. get your Q! then, get your W!
WHY?!
W/Q combo for 1.5 more Q power!
R/W/Q combo for 2X POWERR!!!!
ok listen. the W gives a passive of 25% more additional ad dmg.
AKA - more crit
25% on a crit is 50%
so 250%dmg AND if you have masteries and an infinity edge!
100% - 200%crit - 210%crit form masteries - 260#crit form inf edge - 310# crit from Added ad.
THERE IS A 310% CRIT AND EVERYONE IS BUILDING TANKY AND NO CRIT!>!?!?! WTF OTHER BUILDS!@

3: Summoners SPELLZ! - get whatever the **** you want. 'cept flash, you already have one.

4: HOW TO USE ULT (this is important)
ready?
guys
listen.
ok
guys
listen.
>we ult them
>ignite them (optional)
> 'W' somewhere near them
> use Q on them
> BOOM! 3 Q's land
> auto atk a bit
> Crit a million
> leave
> 2nd part of ult procs
> You get a kill

If you dont know how to utilize his jumpy ability, go practice, or go **** off. EZ
PHANTOM DANCER ALLTHEWAAAAY!