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Commando Jarvan IV Pumps Up A New Sale

Creator: IceCreamy July 16, 2012 4:39pm
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Aug 14th, 2011
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Commando Jarvan IV Pumps Up A New Sale

Posted by Jarvan IV on Mon, 07/16/2012 - 21:23

Ten hut! Stand at attention, soldiers. You are in the presence of Commando Jarvan IV, elite member of the Demacian Commandos, here to see if you’ve got what it takes to join our ranks. Come on, yordle, climb that wall! You won’t get anywhere up in top lane if you don’t move move MOVE! I’ve seen legs covered in Singed’s Mega Adhesive run through this course faster than this sad bunch. I was airlifted straight from Garen’s elite Brush Training Facility to recruit and all I’ve got to work with are these wash-outs and comedians whose egos are writing checks that their bodies can’t cash!

  • Leona’s heavy armor and shield weighed her down pretty bad out on the course. Non-Commando-regulation PT gear puts this Solari out of the running. Pick her up for 487 RP.
  • Kassadin doesn’t seem to understand that he’s supposed to climb the wall, not teleport through it. You think you’re funny, void-man? Drop and give me twenty! You can grab him for 487 RP.
  • Dr. Mundo is what we call in the Commandos a “liability.” During target practice he was just as likely to throw a cleaver at the man next to him as he was to throw it down range. Maybe he’ll have more luck in the corporate world. Take him away for just 292 RP.

  • Superb Villain Veigar cackles maniacally every time I call for radio-silence. The first rule of the Commandos is to stop talking when I say to stop talking! Pack up this pompous little mastermind and ship him home for 487 RP.
  • Tundra Hunter Warwick has got the right idea but loses on execution. Save the tundra camouflage for the winter, werewolf! Pick up this off-season skin for just 260 RP.
  • Siren Cassiopeia has incredible stopping power in the thick of battle but she can’t correctly wear Jarvan’s Elite Commando Battle Boots, as mandated under Article IV of the Commando Code. If we bend the rules for this slithery soldier than we’re going to have to bend the rules for everyone. Take home this shoeless siren for 487 RP.

This sale only runs from July 17 through July 20, so pack up your gear, soldiers, and get to work. We’ve got a lot of training to do! You can use your new combat assets to your advantage and maybe join up with the Commandos yourself one day.

DuffTime wrote:
ok ok plz carry me omg
i was only waiting for you to ask

Temzilla wrote:
Too hot to be icecream.

Luther3000 wrote:
He looks like a hair gel advert on legs

Toshabi wrote:
Icecreamy, with hair as slick and smooth as the ocean waves of Cocobana

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