My friend LITERALLY wants to DOINK a DOG :: League of Legends (LoL) Forum on MOBAFire

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So as you all know, LoL turned my friend into a furry. I mean LITERALLY A FURRY. He has a character that he calls his INNER SELF (even though it's just a ****ing pokemon). So we're talking.

about the new pokemon game coming out.

Because if we're not talking about LoL or pokemon, he's probably talking about his sexual fetishes (because that's all furphages talk about).

So instead of fetishes, the Tosh prefers videogames.

So.

Anyways, we go on about the game. And so we're talking on skype and sharing our desktops. because that's what we do when we want to have fun. We share desktops.

And on his desktop is a notepad. It's titled "My X's and Y's". So out of curiosity, I asked him "Say, <BUDDY>, what is in that notepad file on your desktop?"

His response.... oh my ****ing lord, his response....

"Yeah, I went through the pokedex one day to find a suitable mate x3".

I'm just like "... what? Like a friend thing...?" (I'm assuming he meant like mystery dungeon battle buddy thing)

And he's like "Naaaah, just something I might be attracted too >w>"

Wow.

WPOWOWOOWOWOWOWOOWOWOW. So, out of some SICK morbid curiosity, I inquire if I could see the list. HOLY **** ON A ****ING BASKET. HE LITERALLY WENT THROUGH THE ENTIRE 5 GENS OF POKEMON (and some of 6 gen's) AND ACTUALLY LISTED THE POKEMON HE WOULD WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ALONG WITH DESCRIBING WHAT THEIR POKE-PARTS WOULD LOOK LIKE. HOLY HELL!

and if that wasn't bad enough, he says "Yeaaah..... you know,... if pokemon existed IRL, I wouldn't ever have sex with a human >u>".

Weeping Jesus on a cross. What the **** is wrong with people. I'm crying from how much of a loser my friend has become. He's like a brony, except he found out how to be even MORE of a loser. Hide you pokemon and hide your dogs, cause my friend is lurking your neighborhood for an opportunity to stick his reproductive organs into them.