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Searz's review thread

Creator: Searz July 19, 2015 4:41pm
45 posts - page 1 of 5
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Searz
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This is mainly gonna be media of different forms. Mainly movies and games.
I am gonna try to gather up a few reviews before posting them so as not to spam.
I will keep things short and have a simple rating system.
Please add your own reviews to the mix as long as you use the same format and rating system.

The rating system consists of:
Avoid
Maybe
Recommended
Highly recommended

It's simple, self-explanatory and far more useful than a number.

Shortlist of review ratings:
I'm a strong independent black mage who don't need no mana.
Searz
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Here I will be gathering all reviews I post in the thread, so finding them is easier.

Chappie


Elysium


District 9


Edge of Tomorrow


Jack Reacher


Oblivion


The Book Thief


A.I.


I, Robot


Ex Machina


Her
"I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m ****ing ******ed but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding." - Guuse

"uh, I identify as counterstrike and I find this globally offensive" - ???
Searz
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Sooo, for my first set of reviews I thought I'd take a trio of Neill Blomkamp(director) movies. Blomkamp means Flowerfight by the way :D
They can be found in the comment above.
"I saw [Twilight: Eclipse] in theaters with a girl I was dating at the time. I spent more time staring at my toes and wiggling them than I did watching this abomination. When Edward proposed to Blank Face, I finally looked up with a revelation.
I blurted out loud, in a dead silent theater full of teenage girls on opening night "Wait a minute, Edward has no blood flow. How does he get an erection?" I heard several men laughing, and had several girls turn and stare at me.

I did not get laid that night." - Berengier817
The_Nameless_Bard
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I want to see a review of The Bay (it's hilariously bad imo).

The whole reference to mutated tongue-eating louses makes it particularly funny
Searz
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I want to see a review of The Bay (it's hilariously bad imo).

Nah, I don't intentionally go for bad horror movies.
I will be reviewing a good horror-ish movie soon though.
Google has a job title called "Head of Black Community Engagement"..
I don't know whether to cry or laugh.. or both.
Lugignaf
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All horror movies are bad though. It's just common knowledge.
Ninja Trigger
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you should review "The Last Airbender" but with the RiffTrax Audio commentary. It makes the movie somewhat more bearable/enjoyable if you happen to a MST3K fan.

EDIT
Also I thought about this movie when I saw that you reviewed Chappie, since the same actor also played Zuko and this movie almost ended his carer on the spot.
Searz
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Lugignaf wrote:
All horror movies are bad though. It's just common knowledge.

Nope. I've seen 3 good horror movies that I can remember right at this moment, might be more.
They are very rare however. Most horror movies are just gore fests with a ******ed plot and characters.

One of the 3 isn't really classified as horror though, I think. But it definitely scared me, especially since it plays so close to reality. I'd classify it as psychological horror.
you should review "The Last Airbender" but with the RiffTrax Audio commentary. It makes the movie somewhat more bearable/enjoyable if you happen to a MST3K fan.

No thanks.
But I'll probably do the Airbender movie some time when I'm bored.
Quoted:
Also I thought about this movie when I saw that you reviewed Chappie, since the same actor also played Zuko and this movie almost ended his carer on the spot.

Nah, he played in Slumdog Millionaire, that alone skyrocketed him into fame.
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BigBoxGamer
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Lugignaf wrote:
All horror movies are bad though. It's just common knowledge.


Evil Dead 2013 says, "hello."

Short Term Goals: Silver/Gold/Platinum || Long Term Goals: Diamond/Master/Challenger
Ninja Trigger
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Searz wrote:

Nah, he played in Slumdog Millionaire, that alone skyrocketed him into fame.


Right but he did Slumdog Millionaire before last Aribender, and he hasn't really done a whole lot since then, well at least until Chappie.
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