The MOBAFail Inquirer #1

[quote=Toshabi][center][h1][color=#ff8000]MOBA[/color][color=#ffff00]Fail[/color] [color=#ff8000]Inqu[/color][color=#ffff00]irer[/color] #1- ADONIKAN BURNS DOWN SMALL VILLAGE: DOESN'T SHOW EMOTION[/h1] [img=http://i.imgur.com/4pSbA4Q.png width=600] [h4][b]Adonikan[/b] (seen above) posing for our reporters moments after he burnt down farmer's barn.[/h4][/center] [b]Dublin, Ireland[/b] has seen its fair share of good days and its bad days. Yesterday, April 16th 2015, was an exceptionally bad day for the relatively peaceful lands of Dublin. Late in the afternoon on April 15th, a disgruntled, shirtless man with an ax approached the town with a 5 gallon container of lighter fluid. In the course of 15 minutes, half of the farmlands in Dublin had been set ablaze. "It was like something out of one of them Terminator pictures" said one local farmer, as they looked over the destruction left behind by this mad man. "It's the kind of reaction you'd expect from someone who just got all their guides downvoted by someone making smurf accounts on them MOBAfails." [columns][nextcol width=600]The fire was put out 6 hours later when local fire chiefs hit the scene. It was identified that the one responsible for setting the fire was none other than long lost MOBAfail member "Adonikan". Adonikan, whom was once revered amongst the elite inside of the MOBAfail Veteran staff (A clique comprised of individuals who think they're better than you and know they are), had went missing after being so active on the site since the early days of its creation. They were a beloved member who was cherished by many and only hated by very few. He was last seen on MOBAfail back in 2012, playing fisticuffs with MOBAfail Villain "Toshabi". "I always had a feeling he was a MOBAvillain at heart" exclaimed Toshabi, who was currently seated on top of a chair made up of small children. Adonakin has always showed a neutral position when it came to the good guy-bad guy spectrum. No one at MOBAfire has properly confirmed his role as a good guy Veteran, but many would support the idea that he was. "He always cared for the members of MOBAfire" says Sister of MOBAfire HappiiHappii. "In fact, he would constantly join me to get my nails done and would apply on the nail polish with his tongue. What kind of cold blooded arson suspect do something like that?". [nextcol width=30] [nextcol width=300][img="http://c3.thejournal.ie/media/2014/09/unnamed-25-4-390x285.jpg" width=300] [h4]A woman standing over the wreckage that once was her child's play area.[/h4][/columns] After hours of hacking the Google Earth Satellites, we were able to locate Adonikan and confront him about the crime that he committed. "Yeah, I fucked those bitches up, and I only did it to disprove that I ain't into cock". A week before the crime, he had gotten into an internet fight with an unknown individual, in which the person claimed that Adonikan was a 'lover of cocks' and a 'cock sucker'. Adonikan was always a fan of his feathered friends and even vowed to one day open his own chicken ranch when he retired LoL. "I never was into cocks, even though I'd like the way they feel and the noises they'd make when you'd pat em", said Adonikan as he spoke to our reporters. "It's just a real shame cause I wouldn't mind having a cock around me at all times, but I hope this proves once and for all that I ain't into cocks and never will be. I burnt all them cocks to the ground and they'll never bother me again". Police still have yet to locate Adonikan despite how easy it was to find him. They are giving out a 1337 RP award to anyone that can provide them with information about Adonikan and this incident. If you have any information regarding Adonikan or any other embarrassing photos of him pertaining to this incident, please call our hotline at (915) 562-1177.[/quote]

[quote=The_Nameless_Bard]LOL[/quote]

[quote=GrandmasterD]I guess you don't really know someone after all... I'm shocked. Shocked, I say.[/quote]

[quote=Embracing]LOL you doin this for fun or do you want some actual journalistic criticism?[/quote]

[quote=Toshabi]It's something I did to pass the time at work. I might do more if I ever get more down time. A lot of what was written was just spur of the moment. If I end up doing another one, I'll probably sit down and plan it out.[/quote]

[quote=Hatted][quote=Toshabi] "I never was into cocks,[/quote] Well there's your problem.[/quote]

[quote=jhoijhoi]:( I'm sad he never mentioned moving to Dublin.[/quote]

[quote=Jimmydoggga 2.0]I don't even know how you all remember this guy.[/quote]

[quote=Searz][quote=Toshabi]"Yeah, I fucked those bitches up, and I only did it to disprove that I ain't into cock".[/quote] In other words: prove that he's into cock. Dat double negative. I think we all knew deep down. [quote](915) 562-1177.[/quote] If you have any information regarding Adonikan or any other embarrassing photos of him pertaining to this incident, please call our hotline at (915) 562-1177.[/quote]