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☛ Choose your path (forum game) ☚

Creator: emoriam April 17, 2015 10:42am
emoriam
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Say you were sleep walking and woke up in the shopping center

Your parents are shocked and your mum swoons. Because of all the trouble you've caused this night your dad sends you to bed. He even locks your room's door as he's afraid of further acts of violence.

1. You don't complain about your dad's decision and got to bed
2. You decide to leave through the window and do something more exciting (new appearance = literally an adult)
3. You try to convince your dad of your innocence and keep throwing items at him
Thanks to Aquilegia for this sig!
mastrer1000
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edit: omfg emoriam stop trying to ruin all the fun
edit2: slight edit, I didn't read the stuff emoriam wrote properly and thought he was still with his parents.
You don't complain about your dad's decision and got to bed. Then you remember that you have a gun. You shoot the door until there is a big enough hole to go through. You then shoot each of your parents in both knees and lock them up in the house. If they manage to make it to the hospital, you will let them be.

You start thinking. Only using guns to kill people is kinda lame. What other item do you use?

1. You go into the garden and take dad's chainsaw.
2. You go into the kitchen and grab the biggest knife you can find.
3. You notice that you are overthinking the whole thing. Of course guns are fun.
I AM NOT AFFECTED BY ELOHELL. NOOBS AND TROLLS NEVER RUIN MY RANKED GAMES.
I DON'T GET STUCK AND I NEVER GET ONLY 2LP FOR A WIN.

I AM UNRANKED.


also check out my Ryze guide
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You go into the kitchen and grab the biggest knife you can find. Sadly, your kitchen doesn't have knives, so you grab a spoon instead.

You walk out onto the streets and see a man, probably high, drunk or tripping on acid.

You...

1. Threaten him with a spoon.
2. Don't give him a chance to retaliate and immediately start to bludgeon him with the spoon.
3. Ask him for some cereal.

Thank you to MissMaw for the signatures!
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You don't give him a chance to retaliate and immediately start to bludgeon him with the spoon. After an hour or so you are getting bored, so you just shoot him. You get into the tank you have taken from the police hq and drive over some cars. You don't really care if there are people in them or not. You may also "accidently" have run over some pedestrians. However, you are getting tired. Where do you sleep?

1. You decide to sleep in your tank. It isn't really comfortable, but that way no one will take it from you.
2. You decide to go back home and sleep in your bed.
3. You decide to go to the most luxurious hotel in town and force the manager to give you the best room.
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You decide to sleep in your tank. It isn't really comfortable, but that way no one will take it from you

However, as you wake up again you aren't in the tank anymore. You're in a place you've never been at before. It's a gigantic spot with few, seemingly futuristic buildings.

1. You close your eyes and hope to wake up somewhere else, hopefully at home
2. You stand up and walk around
3. You start to pray and hope for redemption
Thanks to Natuhlee for this sig!
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You start to pray and hope for redemption. You are surprised as your prayers get answered. You fall unconscious and as you wake up, you are in the captain's seat of the Daedalus from saints row 3 and as you look out of your window, you are in your hometown again. You decide to...

1. destroy the police hq because they have locked you up
2. Destroy the club where you started your rampage. You weren't done there.
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You destroy the club. After you were finished destroying the club you noticed... woaw, my decisions are incredibly inconsistent. One moment you are are fixing a light, next moment you are puking from eating donuts, then you are murdering people out of nowhere. You question yourself for a second why you are this insane. Then suddenly a man in robes came and said: "Hello, I am a pastaferian and I know all the truths. I can help you". You

1. Grab your shotgun, put on your sunglasses, 360noscope and kill the pastaferian. Then you smoke weed everyday
2. Ask the person what your actions mean
3. Ask the person wtf pastaferians are
4. Make a "talk to the hand"-gesture and walk away
Change is gooooood
Picture by: Bludes
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Ask the person what your actions mean

The man in robes tells you that your personality is twisted. In a distanst distanst distant distant distant universe there are some forum nerds dictating your actions.
Hearing such insane assumptions by a strange man in robes drives you crazy.

1. You decide to stay calm and ask for more insights even though you're about to throw a tantrum
2. You try to strangle the man
3. You try to return back to the unknown place you've recently found (the one with the futuristic buildings)
Thanks to Aquilegia for this sig!
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You decide to strangle the man. He makes a high-pitched, screeching sound like air escaping a balloon while you tightly stretch the opening in a lateral way as he passes away. You then proceed to urinate on him for good measure, and because you are the funniest guy to ever live in the world.

However, as you are urinating, an intense, digging pain is felt in your bladder, digging into your sphincters. As you whimper in the fetal position on the ground, you realise...

1. That you have completely forgotten to hydrate yourself on your escapades and you are passing a kidney stone.
2. All your wrong doings has birthed a demon within you, which it resides within your urethra.
3. You're *****.
4. That you're pregnant and a child is developing within your bladder. You must be hitting labour soon.

Thank you to MissMaw for the signatures!
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You realize that you're *****. Desperate to relieve yourself, you think about masturbation, but remember the dead body lying at your feet. You...

1. Masturbate with the dead body right in front of you.
2. Masturbate while staring at the dead body.
3. Have sex with the body.
4. Find a living, breathing, hot grill to have sex with.
5. Go masturbate somewhere else.

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