So, today seemed rather typical. I got up (12 in the afternoon, I'M GETTING BETTER YEAH YEAH, SUMMER IS ON AND COLLEGE IS OUT, I DESERVE TO BE LAZY) and went on out to scour the streets of my city on a search for entertainment. I make it to a fast food joint (arby's) when suddenly, someone from out of ****ING NO WHERE says to me "OH MY GOD! IS THAT TWITCH!??!". For those of you that don't know, one of my casual hats (looks less ***gy irl) has a few pins on it made by some of my favorite artists. Seeing how the bloke wanted to make casual talk with me, I figured I'd be nice (I usually am IRL) and humor him a bit with conversation. "Yes, it is tw-" suddenly, he gets frantically excited, much like a 11 year old girl meeting Justin Beiber and demands to know my screen name and goes on about "OMGAWD I PLAY XIN ZHAO REALLY GOOD AND I AM 1300 ELO AND MY DUO QUEUE BUDDY IS 1313 AND THIS AND THAT OMG THE GAME IS SO ****ING GREAT". Amazed at how engaged this guy was and how well he seemed to carry on a one man conversation, I immediately thought of ways to get away from him. Either the LoL gods were angry with me or this is just Karma getting back at me for making fun of her so much, his FRIEND ****ing shows up.


Now, the guy who engaged me in this conversation was relatively normal looking. His friend.... oh GOD. This guy looked like he ate someone else. Literally. Like HOLY **** MAN YOU'RE ****ING HUGE EAT A SALAD kind of big. I'm not saying this to be rude. In fact, I wouldn't have made such a remark if what I'm about to tell you never happened. The guy (imma just refer to him as 'the guy' for the rest of this story) comes over to me and sits down at the table that me and this dude are sitting at and just stares. Me and him engage in sort of a battle of wits as we have sort of a ...stare off. YEAH. A ****ING STARE OFF. I didn't know what to say really, this guy looked like the love child of Gabriel Iglesias and Hercule from Dragon Ball Z. After the minute stare off was over, the first dude was like "Oh yeah, so this is my duo queue buddy <forgot his name>". Whatever, I'm like "Cool cool, nice to meet you-" THEN HE ****ING GOES "What's your elo, scrub". WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!? So. Seeing how I GLORIOUSLY MADE IT TO ****ING 1500 ELO (big deal yeah i know), I say "I'm 1500 ELO, how about you PIKACHU?". OH man, he got MAAAAAAAAAAAAD. Like, REALLY ****ING MAD THAT I CALLED HIM A PIKACHU! So he's like "YEAH! UR JUST LUCKY. YOU LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF ******** NOOB **** THAT I HAVE TO CARRY". Okay, now I'm just at a loss. WHERE THE **** DID THIS EGO COME FROM! HOLY HELL! THE GUY'S FRIEND WAS SO NICE AND FRIENDLY AND OVER ECCENTRIC, BUT HOLY **** THIS GUY WAS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.


So, he's pissed off for no good reason, his friend has that weird, sheepish, nervous-guy smile (probably thinking "OKay, this will be okay, this will be okay, this will be okay" in his head) and I'm just sitting here enjoying some curly fries and a coke. The guy then goes on to interrogate my play styles, asking me who i main and what not. SO LAME. He was like "WTF YOU CAN'T JUNGLE AS A RANGED CARRY, ESPECIALLY TWITCH CAUSE TWITCH IS TEH SUX" and "LOOOOL RENEKTON TOP REALLY!? RENEKTON IS SO USELESS LOOOOOOOOOL" and "LMFAO U PLAY CAIT LOOOOOOOL" and "HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA WHO PLAYS JANNA AND BLITZCRANK IN RANKED LOOOOOOOOOL!?!". Hot damn, this guy is annoying! Like, REALLY ****ING ANNOYING! I kept my cool cause I'm use to dealing with idiots like this on a DAILY BASIS, so I proceed to ask "So, what do you play as?". Guess what? "OH! I PLAY JUNGLE MOONDO CAUSE DIS PRO PLAYS IT AND I PLAY JUNGLE LEE AND I PLAY AHRI CUZ SHE REAL GOOD AND I PLAY JAX TOP LOOLZ AND I PLAY GRAVES AND SORAKA LOOOLZ". OFCOURSE! THIS ******** IS JUST GOING OFF THE POPULAR TREND WITH CHARACTERS AND ONLY PLAYS CHAMPS THAT DAH PROZ PLAY! SOOO fugging cookie cutter both in attitude and in character choices. After all that "LOL I PRETTY MUCH PLAY WHATEVER THE PROS TELL ME TO" speech, I ask with an EVIL smile on my face "And your ELO is what now...?".


Then it happened. That moment when me and him both realized something moderately hilarious. I recalled earlier in the conversation that his duo queue partner said their elo was in the 1300's range. He was using tier 1 champions in ranked queue and, after the hundreds of games the dude before him said they played, could only amount to a 1313 rating, while me, who only played roughly 100 ranked games, has a 1500 rating using not-so tier 1 champions. As soon as he realized this, he immediately shut down and went into this mental realization of "Oh ****... I ****ING SUCK'. His 9 chins quivered as he gave it more thought and immediately walked away. It's moments like that that make having a high (medium) elo a good thing to have. You never know when some dumb **** is going to come in and try to ruin your day. I got to where I was ELO wise because I chose to stick with champions I played most comfortably with, not because some tier list says "This champ is good, the rest are ****ty". Because I stuck to this principle, my ELO rose to a moderately-respectable level, while that guy stayed at a laughable ELO only because he used champs that he probably 1)has no idea how to play 2)doesn't even like using. Triumphantly, I reached down for another fry as I looked out the window, smiling as I watched him take the walk of shame as the sun beamed down upon my face.



This moment was, as best as I could put it, as ****ing perfect as any moment can possibly get........ until I realized the fat **** stole my curly fries.







This story is loosely based off of my imagination.